Love, Hate and Pain
by Ana Xpert
Summary: Darkfic. Story is loosely set on the 90's TV show X-Men universe. I'm playing wildly with the characters. We'll see what happened after Rogue controls her powers and is finally able to touch. Good girl gone bad? The story is told in first person, you'll see the facts through the eyes of each of the characters involved in it. Angst/drama MATURE
1. Chapter 1

Hate, Love and Pain

Disclaimer: When I wrote this story, I wanted to have a laugh and play with the characters. Content is mature and Rogue is a bit slutty. If you're not comfortable with that, sorry, but just don't read it. I have first published it in Portuguese, got lots of positive reviews (which made me want to translate it) but some people complained about how Rogue is not like that blah blah blah. I just want to say beforehand I KNOW! I have two other romantic and sweet stories if you want to read something like that, but this time, I just wanted to do something quirky and different. Also, I won't be writing their southern accent. Forgive me, I just wouldn't know how to do it. Hope you enjoy it!

It was about 3 am when I heard the knock on my door. It didn't startle me for I knew who it was. It happened almost every night and If I didn't find myself suffering from such low self-esteem, if I had a little love for what's left of me, I wouldn't have opened the door. But, hey, that's not me. I have no shame to admit that the slightest bit of dignity I still have evaporates into thin air when she's near me. How the fuck can I love her more than I love myself? Well, that is if I do love myself at all…

"Hello, ma belle. It's a bit late for showing up, don't you think? You don't look too good."

" Oh come on, sugar. I hope you're not going to give me a hard time at this early hour. Besides, I thought you'd appreciate me coming here. I know you don't like to sleep by yourself, now do you?"

"Chére, I appreciate you at any time of the day and night. Under any circumstances… " – Now why did I have to say that? Have I not made a fool of myself enough times? I'm always handing my heart to her and watching her stomp all over it. Anyways, she most probably won't remember any of it tomorrow morning.

"I know you do, honey."

Looking as sleazy as she could possibly look, she gave me her drunk smile and cupped my face in her hands and gave me a peck. Then I felt her velvety hands travel their way to find my hair, she played with it for a while. I just stood there, paralyzed, not knowing what to do or say, succumbing to her wishes and commands. As I thought about my own idiotic ways, she kissed me hard and took me someplace else. Heaven, hell, I don't know. A fucking good place to be as far as I can tell. How could I say 'no'? When my body is over hers, under hers, behind hers, in hers, the whole of the world ceases to exist. She's the only thing that makes sense to me.

This vagabond heart of mine who's mistreated some many ladies before is at her mercy. I'm finally paying all the bad that I've done at the highest interest rate possible. I'm sure I must deserve all of this. So I don't complain, I just take the bash.

Next thing I know, she's lying naked on my bed. I walk towards her side of the bed and look down at her, giving her the best disapproving look I can manage. Sensing my hesitation, she sits up, grabs me by the legs and pushes me down to the bed. As she undressed me rather violently, I could see her eyes sparkled. I give up resisting her, there's absolutely no point in doing so. We kiss passionately. Then all of sudden she whispers in my ear: "Remy, I love you!"

We made love. I mean, I made love to her. She had sex. I made sweet love to the woman I love. Possibly the one and only I have ever loved. I know, she says she loves me. But I also know she sleeps with my friends.

Ever since Rogue gained control over her powers she became a whole different person. Like a child who's just got the most fantastic toy ever and won't let it go for half a second, her brand new sexual life is all she thinks and cares about. I know she still has all the personas and voices in her head, and surely that is and has always been an issue for her, but now she's found her way of escaping all of that, she can't tell when enough is enough. She doesn't know how to handle her newly found sexuality. She goes out every night, drinks too much, does things she should regret but doesn't and to top it all, she doesn't even remember any of it in the morning.

Still, I believe I'm the only one who understands her. Maybe that's why I'm the only one she loves, that is, if she does love me as she says. The other guys just want to have a go with her, fuck a pretty chick with an appetite. I'm no idiot. I know she uses and abuses me. I know she's playing with me. I'm her toy, and the sad thing is that I like it. I like being abused.

I like to be the one she seeks at the end of the night. I like to be the one who sleeps by her side and wakes to a gorgeous sleeping princess. She looks like the innocent girl I used to know when she's asleep. I know I should stick up for myself and speak my mind. Let her know how I feel, how I hate it that is unfaithful. But I don't have the strength, or… the balls to do that… for now. Maybe one day. Or maybe one day she'll realize I'm her one and only man and that I should be treated better. Maybe.

When we are done with it, she stands up and walks drunkenly out of bed, goes through my pockets until she finds a pack of cigarettes. Then she goes back to bed, sits by my side and starts smoking while staring at my naked body. Examining every inch of me, it feels as if she's undressing my soul now. A smirk. What the hell is she thinking, I wonder.

Remy, you are fucking delicious, do you know that?

And you are fucking selfish. You get a cigarette for yourself and it doesn't even occur to you that I might want one?

Sorry, sugar. – She stands me and fetches me one. I take the chance to take a good look at her ass. Her beautiful long hair, her curls just above that ass… It drives me crazy. Then a sudden rush of courage slaps me in the face:

Where were you before you came here? Who were you with?

Do you really want to know, sugar? Do you want me to tell you the truth? I don't think you do… I wonder why you still ask those questions. – she spoke in a thin voice. Almost a whisper.

Were you with Scott again? Damn, the guy is married. What you guys are doing is outrageous. I feel for Jean, poor thing. – and for myself, I thought as I said it.

I wasn't with Scott tonight if that means so much to you. I went dancing, I wanted to have fun and that was all. Then you know how it is at night, you meet people… but do you really want to know where my mouth's been tonight? I'm sure you don't. Why would you?

Never mind. Forget what I said. Let's just kiss and make up. I want to sleep, we'll have a tough day ahead of us tomorrow.

Well, that's more like it, sugar. But you sure you wanna sleep? That's not my Remy, my Remy would never ever sleep when he could have some fun. – And she was right.


	2. Chapter 2

More of Gambits' thoughts. I hope you all like it, and please, please review.

I woke up alone this time. I know she slept here with me, but must've taken off early. Or maybe she was here watching me sleep and never did sleep herself. I'll never know. I never do. I was a little late so took a quick shower and headed down as fast as I could. Got to the kitchen only to find her sitting at the table, staring down at a… toast! Unaware of my presence, she spread strawberry jam on her toast with the same attention one would dedicate to dismantling a bomb, so immersed in doing it she was. When she saw me, or smelled me, she lifted up her head with a tilt and let the knife slip through her fingers, with her other hand she caught it mid-air. Her fingers were now covered in jam.

\- Morning, darling. – she said with a sweet smile. It reminded me of my sweetheart from times past. Before she gained controlled of her powers and lost control of all the rest.

\- Bonjour, chér.

Instead of reaching for a napkin and cleaning her sticky fingers, she licked each of her fingers, one by one, slowly and provocatively. She seemed to do this distractedly, not aware of Scott's and Logan's hungry staring. Fils de pute those two.

\- Here, chére. Let me help you out. – And like a father would, I reached out for a napkin, then grabbed her hands, which she offered me without a word, and cleaned them, at the same time looking angrily at Scott and Logan. They must've noticed because they looked away instantaneously.

Jean was also there and that adds a whole new level of tension to the whole scene. She must know, right? We are her telepathic powers and everything. I'm glad I'm not on her shoes, at least I can pretend, because I can't 'hear' what they are thinking when they're at it.

I zoom out and let my thoughts run wild. If we think about, all of us kiss indirectly. I kiss Rogue who kisses Scott who kisses Jean. As far as I know, even logan could be in this love triangle, I mean, square. How the fuck did that happen to us all? A few months ago, before they came back from that mission in Egypt which I was not a part of, things looked nothing like that.

Later, in the danger room, she was no longer the woman who had just said she loved me, she was having her fun by teasing Scott. Right. Under. My. Fucking. Nose.

\- Rogue, would you stop that? Do you not notice what you're doing or is it just deliberated? You know you drive me crazy, don't you? There's no need to do this when Jean and Gambit are around.

And that was when a card of mine found him. Ooopsy.

\- Darling, how could you not see an attack coming? Have you lost your concentration? – she said with sarcasm. She looked at me, blinked and laughed at him. Or was she laughing at me? Probably at us both.

Scott down, out of order for their afternoon fooling around, I know she'll probably use me as plan B. And I, sucker that I am, will gladly accept to be used.

A confirmation to my earlier thoughts comes soon enough, she invades my shower after training. She was so horny she came into the shower, clothes and all. Her arms enveloped me from behind, she nibbled my right ear and whispered "Hello Cajun!" I smirked , at that. Her hands then started travelling south stopping where she could play and make me moan with pleasure and desire for her. She stopped. I woke up from the trance the she had put me in. I slowly opened my eyes only to find her facing me now showing the biggest smile and it made me feel like a complete fool. She gave me a kiss, then went down on me. She was so good at that. It was a matter of minutes until I lost any self-control, ripped her clothes off, and pressed her body against the wall. Howling with pleasure she made me sure I was giving her pleasure as no one else does. I'm most definitely sure about this one thing. No one does it to her like I do.

Her moaning, screaming and sighing reminded me of our first time together, her first time ever. She could have had sex with anyone in that mission if she was so desperate to know how it was like, but she didn't. She came home to me, and I expected that, we were a couple already, a couple that didn't touch but a couple nevertheless. It was only natural that she wanted to give me the honour of being her first one. That must mean something, right? At that time, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be her only one forever and a day. However, when I see the looks she gives other men when we go out, I'm sure that whatever she felt for me no longer exists.

Before I was the one who did that. I was that guy who flirted with other women, I couldn't resist. It was easy, I could win any chick just by staring the right way at her. And it inflated my ego, who doesn't like it when the hottest girl in the room is staring back at you, wanting you, fucking you… so I did it even though I thought I was completely in love with Anna Marie. It was just for fun and she couldn't give me what the other ladies could, so…

Maybe, all this time loving me, she turned into a female version of me as soon as she got the chance. Perhaps she hates me for all that I did and is trying to punish me. But I don't think she knew, did she? Well, when she kisses me that way, she can't be trying to make me suffer, can she?

I should be strong and end this shit. Say 'no' to her. No, I don't want this banging in the shower. No, I don't want you creeping into my bed late at night. No, I don't want to be your second option. But hey, I'm a fool and I just don't have the inner strength to do that. Never knew I had this talent for being the betrayed guy.

\- Chére, where you going in such a hurry? We've just finished and you're off? Why don't we have lunch together or something?

\- Thanks sugar, but no, thanks.

\- Just can't, darling. I have to go upstairs, change into something better than this wet uniform and take off. I have pole dancing classes at one. Don't give me that face. I'm serious, paid for them upfront already.

\- Will you show me what you've learned later tonight? – when I hear myself say the things I do, I feel so ridiculous… yes, she will please me, me and the whole of New York.

\- Sugar, why do you think I'm taking these lessons? Of course you'll see the first to see me dance. – she blinked at me.

\- I wish I were the only one to see you dance. – Well done, man! Finally took the courage to stick up for myself.

She makes an angry face. And I just love her angry face. I used to say all those cheesy catch up lines ever since I first met her just to see that look in her face. She played sooo hard to get, what a far cry from today.

\- Remy, why do you say these things? I'm not yours, I'm not anyone's. For the first time in forever, I'm mine. I have full control of my life, of my powers, of my body. I'm not yours, not my mom's, or the professor's, or anyone else's. I'm not anyone's, I'm everyone's and everybody wishes me well. And that's how I want it to be for now.


	3. Chapter 3

3

Picture this, a coke bottle. All that carbonated liquid inside. If you shake that bottle, or let it fall, the pressure inside the bottle raises. But the bottle was made to hold that kind of pressure, so it will still hold the liquid and gas inside. But what happens if someone goes and opens that bottle? It results in a great explosion, right? Well, guess what, I'm a coke bottle. So don't judge me.

Nobody knows what it feels like to have all these voices in my head. Memories popping out as they wish that do not belong to me.

Nobody knows what it feels like to see couples in love, people kissing, hugging each other, and not be able to have the same. Everyone can, but you. It even looks as if people show affection by touching each other in front of you to make you feel small, to hurt you.

Nobody knows what it feels like to live most of your adult life without ever being able to touch another human being, not being able to touch the one you love. Nobody knows, and nobody cares I've been deprived from all this for all my life. Ok, the professor cares, I'll give him that. He also tried to help me out.

Nobody knows the pain I felt, feeling my body ache with desire for the one I love and the hell it's been to go without his kisses, his touch, his loving. The person I'm talking about has a name, Remy Ethienne LeBeau. LeBeau means "the beautiful" in French, exactly what he is, handsome, beautiful, gorgeous, hot…

Back to the coke bottle story now. Well, throughout all these years every one decided my life for me, gave me orders, bossed me around and I have always, always, put everyone else's wishes before my own. Everything I wanted for myself, my dreams, my needs were like that gas trapped inside a coke bottle, safely locked inside. And nobody seemed to care about what was going on inside that bottle. It's strong it will hold it all up. But you know what? I'm not that strong as it seems. Of course I have suffered. A lot indeed. My Beau has no idea how many times I cried myself to sleep because I could not touch him, or worse even, when I learned that he went out at night to have fun at another lady's bed. How could it possibly be love what he said he felt for me? Was he just being sadistic? Did he enjoy seeing me in pain? I'd rather he hurt me physicallyin the danger room, real bad if he so wished, than put me through that misery of knowing he 'loved' me but had to have other women because I was just so incompetent, I could not control my powers, could not give him physical loving and as such I deserved to see him with other women. Like I had brought this upon myself. Yes, I'm a hundred per cent positive that physical pain would've hurt much less.

Before him, I was doing fine. I had suppressed those needs. I didn't need love or sex, I was ok with that.

But then, there comes a deliciously handsome Cajun guy and steals my peace. The dirty thief he is! I had to be vigilant all the time to avoid his advances.

"Chére, you take a man's breath away! Why don't me and you…"

"Stop it, Gambit! I ain't your bitches!"

I remember having to remind him all the time that I could hurt if I touched him, as if he didn't know it already.

"You know what happens when I touch somebody. You wanna end up in the hospital?"  
_"_Maybe it's worth it, no? " [1]

I had to deal with him flirting with me on a daily basis, and after a while, well, I began to believe those things he said. Deep inside I wanted to believe him, that he truly had feelings for me. It was brilliant that anyone at all would have feelings for me, specially a guy like him. Goddam sexy! Of course I fell for him.

Once, we were fighting some sentinels and he pushed me out of the way and took a blast aimed at me. That was the final nail in the coffin, my coffin.

"Gambit, I just wanna let you know that… I'm glad you tried to protect me back there. But I know how to defend myself, sugar"

"I didn't even have time to think it through. I saw that you were going to get hurt and I just couldn't let that happen. I never want to see in you in pain, ma belle."

"You didn't have to do it, darling. Now I'm here feeling like crap seeing you lying on that bed when it should've been me. Why did you have to go and do that?"

"I did it because I love you, Rogue." – I remember I felt my heart ache at that very moment. It must've been a stupid cupid damning me for life.

"Gambit, dear, you must be hallucinating…"

"You know very well I'm not! Why else would I be doing this and all the other things I've been doing for you to show you I care about you. Chére, you can't make me not love you. And I know I do love you." – It was so easy to believe his words, so good. It's a shame that "good" never lasts for me.

From that day on, we started a relationship. A weird one. We were like boyfriend and girlfriend, we were always together, did everything together, I loved him like crazy. But like the sun and the moon, we never touched. We were like friends with NO benefits.

Time went by, and after a while I realized that he would leave the mansion every time I retired to my bedroom. So I started staying up to watch him by my window sill, to see what time he would come back home. He always returned very late, but always alone. Then, one fine day, he comes back with a girl and they stay in the car for 1 hour and 10 minutes. Yes, I counted the hours and the minutes. Then, he drove away again only to return two hours later.

That happened many times again, and I can't tell if it was the same girl or a different one every time. Probably the latter. And the love I felt for him became something else. Hate! I hated him for doing that to me, he made me fall for him and then made me feel small, so so small. Many times I followed him, put on a dark cloak and off I went. Countless times have I seen him grabbing other women's asses in dark corners, clubs, even in our garden! I wonder if he ever saw me following him. If he did, then he pretended he didn't sadistically and took pleasure in seeing my pain.

During the day, however, he was the same gallant guy, a perfect gentleman, treating me like a princess. We always had a good time together, he seemed genuinely happy when he was by my side. But oh no, that was not enough for him. He had to go and fuck anything that walked, stabbing my heart in the process.

Funny thing is that I seemed to love him when we were together and hate him when we were apart. During my night vigils I would contemplate numerous way of getting back at him. Maybe that was the biggest motivation I had to finally be able to control my powers. In hindsight, that was precisely how I did it! I wanted it so badly, so that I could put my plan in action… that was how I finally did it!

It was the love, the hate and the pain that gave me the push, the inner strength I needed to finally conquer it. I worked harder and I did it! All by myself! When I thought I was ready and I could touch someone without harming them, I decided I had to put myself to the ultimate test.

We were on a mission in Egypt. One night we were camping in the desert. We were all sitting around a fire, discussing how we could defeat Apocalypse. Then, I simply took out my glove and reached out for Logan's hand. Nothing happened. Noticing what that meant, he turned to me and gave me a tight hug. A friendly hug.

"Rogue, that's excellent!" He whispered in my ear while our arms were interlaced. "Gumbo will be so happy." He added.

I'm almost sure that Remy thinks I slept with Logan. Not at that night, but when we were back at the mansion. Just because Logan and I always go out at night together, he must have jumped into conclusions. People judge others based on how they themselves are. When he accuses me of that, and other things, I let him talk and never deny. That's what I want anyway, I want him to think I fuck all the handsome guys that cross my way. He has to pay for what he did to me, for depriving me from the rest of sanity I still had.

Truth is I know I'm a little on the loose side now, ok, perhaps not just a little. I go out at night, I kiss all the pretty boys I see. ALL OF THEM! But that's about it, I don't go to bed with them. Also, I have something going on with Scott, something purely sexual. But he's another story… he's also a sweet revenge project I'm taking on. He's so handsome and so good at sex. I feel the conflict he's in, the good boy who knows he's being naughty. He wants to resist me, but he can't help it and this turns me on. But as I said before, Scott is another story…

[1] Actual Gambit and Rogue quotes from comics

Hope all you readers enjoy this one. I realized I have taken all the humour away from the story as translating it and actually have made it darker. And I'm enjoying to rewrite it that way. Please review! Comments and insight always help.


	4. Chapter 4

4

To this day I have no idea how it happened, in fact, how it still happens. I'm happy with Jean, I've always been. She's never let me down in any area of our relationship. I have loyalty, friendship and companionship with her. And sex, it's good, it's always been good. We always had chemistry in bed. Always, I swear!

I'm know I'm doing something wrong. She turned me into a sleazebag. Jean doesn't deserve that. And to make matters worse, I think she knows. I try not to think of that devil in the shape of a woman when I'm with Jean, because I know she'll hear my thoughts, but it's proven to be a very difficult task. How can I avoid the movie of our secret encounters that plays on my head whenever I see her? It disconcerts me. It's all so… sexy, and forbidden. And that's every man's fantasy.

I still remember the day when we all learnt she could control her powers. She touched Wolverine, took his hands in hers. It was not an accident, she meant to test it. She calmly took off her gloves and touched him.

I know that because I was looking at her, watching her. On my defence, I was doing so because she started staring at me in first place. Those criminal green eyes were looking at me maliciously and I never got that kind of look from her before. I don't think I had ever seen that look on her face ever. Not even when she looked at Gambit. We used to go on double dates, me, her, my girlfriend, her boyfriend, so I've seen her around him enough times to say that she's never looked at him that way either. Her penetrating stare seemed to dig into my soul. I felt like I was naked in the midst of a crowd. I guess it was worse than that even, I felt abused. But no one else seemed to notice the way she was looking at me.

What about those delicious luscious lips of hers? They were the culprits! She pursed her lips faking an air of innocence. Innocent my ass! Or maybe, yes, she was innocent; she hadn't been with anyone that way back then. But she had years to think about that which she couldn't do. Maybe that's what makes her so hot, perverted ever so horny and oh, so irresistible.

I thought of Gambit. He wasn't there because he had to take care of some personal stuff. He was in New Orleans to solve some issue related to the Guild. I thought that maybe Rogue was acting that way because he wasn't there so she couldn't have her fun with him. I tried to make some sense of it, even though nothing made sense at all. And she kept staring at me and it was so seductive, so tempting. The more I stared back at her, the more attracted I got.

Then it was over. But that little episode of ours was always in my mind. Yeah, Jean must know… anyway, there were attacks, counterattacks, mini battles until the mission was finally accomplished and we were back to the x-mansion. A week past and she seemed to be involved with Gambit. Things were the way they should be. That was until one afternoon when I heard a knock at my office door.

"Good afternoon, Mr Summers. How are you?"

"Why are you talking to me like that, Anna Marie? Why so formal? What are you up to?"

"Hey, relax, sugar. Just checking on you, can't I? As for the formality, well, you're kinda my boss, are you not? What's wrong in calling you Mr. Summers?" I could hardly concentrate on what she was saying. She was wearing a little black dress and one of its spaghetti straps had fallen off her shoulder, hanging seductively over her arm.

"Nothing wrong. I just thought it's not your style, not how you used to call me. We're friends, aren't we? And it's just that you're acting strange lately. You look like someone else at times."

"I know, sugar. Things have changed drastically for me recently." She added, her tone of voice seemed to want to imply something else.

"I know." I replied rather bluntly.

"I can do lots of things now that I had never imagined possible for me."

"I can imagine. I understand Gambit must be enjoying all these new possibilities."

"You know? You don't need to imagine… He's the not the only who can… enjoy these possibilities." She sighed sensually at every pause and our body distance narrowed until we were an inch away from each other. She looked up at me and her lips brushed mine, very delicately at first, then her lips parted and crashed violently into mine. She rested her hands on my chest, as if she would push me away at any minute. Body language doesn't lie, it's hard to fake. She was in conflict too, kissing me and positioned as if she would try to push me away. She also knows this is wrong.

Her hands began travelling through my body, we were still kissing while she caressed my chest, then my abdomen, till she unzipped my trousers. Our lips parted. Her green eyes stared deep into my eyes, I mean, glasses, anyway, you get the picture. She licked her lips slowly then smiled at me. It was all very arousing.

I felt adrenaline spreading over my body in a rush. I wish I could have had the strength to look away, to tell her to stop and get the hell out of my office, but I just didn't have it in me. I was weak. Next she kneeled on the floor and… she pleased me in the best way a woman can please a man. I threw my head back and let out a load moan. Jean has never done it quite like that. How did that devil who was still a virgin until just the other day learned to do it so well? I stopped her short, grabbed her by the shoulders until our eyes were locked again. Then I turned her around abruptly, she was not my wife, I didn't want to look into her eyes and see I was doing someone else. She didn't protest, only stretched her arms forward and placed the palm of her hands against the wall. I smelled the back of her neck, closing my eyes, taking in her scent, her taste, then started trailing kisses down her neck, moaning a little as I did so, lifted up the hem of her dress, I wanted to push her panties to one side so I could penetrate her, but to my surprise, she was not wearing any…

I need to resist this woman, but I can't and that drives me nuts. I like to have things under control but she makes me lose it all. What is one man to do? I can't even talk about it, ask for some advice. Nobody can help me. I only have her to talk this through, but she's my partner in crime and she doesn't seem to repent all this as I do.

A knock on my door.

"Hey, sugar."

"Anna Marie, it's five in the afternoon. Jean will show up here at any time. What are you doing here?" I tried to reprimand her.

"Chill, Cykes. I just wanted to show you something I've learned today at these classes I'm taking."

"Seriously? Is that it? What classes are those?"

"Pole dancing." She smiled broadly.

I took a deep breath and muttered. "Come in."

_Will you guys allow me a shoutout? Thanks a lot to my first two reviewers: RogueLovesGambit and kataract52 thanks for your lovely reviews. When we begin to post and there are no reviews yet, it seems like we are writing for ourselves only. So thanks for being the first ones to take your time and drop me a line. I hope more reviews come my way. ;) _

_I hope you all enjoy this one, I know we Romy fans may cringe a little with a sex scene without Remy, but hey, forbidden love is goddamn sexy, isn't it? _


	5. Chapter 5

5

How terribly unlucky I am! It's been particularly hard to be a telepath lately. Knowing that I might deserve it doesn't make things easier.

Scott and I have always had a special mental connection, different from what I have with other people, even with other telepaths such as Professor Xavier. Maybe it's just because we have been involved all these years. Or maybe it's not telepathy, it's just that I know him better than anyone else. But yes, if I weren't a telepath, I wouldn't be able to hear his mind screaming feelings of lust when he's banging her.

We have been through a long road Scott and I, we go way back and it is out of respect of the man I know he is and also because I still love him despite all that's been going on that I don't kick his unfaithful ass out of my bed. I live in hope that I will be able to turn the tables around. Oh, but yes I will turn this around. She doesn't know what I have coming for her…

I know exactly why she's at it with Scott, besides the fact that he's obviously a very attractive man. She seeks revenge, revenge against me, for all the times I made her feel smaller than a rat. I know my words had that effect on her and I kept them coming anyway. In fact, realizing that she envied me fuelled my need to make her feel bad about herself, if that makes any sense. It does to me.

We were close friends and it was only natural that I told her everything about my sexual adventures with him. I remember how she used to shrink in her chair while I babbled on about how our sex was amazing. I used to tell her about my multiple orgasms or funny positions Scott would come up with… she sometimes had to swallow her urge to cry. I know it was very sadistic of me, and it doesn't make me look better that I knew exactly what went through her mind as I told my tales. But I was addicted to seeing her pain, it made me feel superior and I liked it.

I had what no one else had in that mansion, a loving caring relationship with the man I loved and who loved me back. She had the potential because Gambit has always loved her, but she simply couldn't have what I had. They were friends who wished they could be lovers.

"Hello Jean. I haven't seen you today! What have you guys been up to?" she would ask naively.

"Well, Scott and I have spent the whole afternoon having sweet sweet sex! It was amazing. What about you guys?"

"Er… nothing as interesting as that, I suppose. I played poker with Gambit, he wanted to show me some dirty tricks. Also he was practicing for some poker competition he's going to and wanted some practice. I… I was glad I could help him out with that."

"Oh, poor you, Anna, you should be having more fun that."

"I know." She would always agree with me shrugging her shoulders. What else could she say? Then I would move on to describing my love making, using as many adjectives as I possibly could to let her know how great it was, and how awful it was for her that she couldn't experience the same. This kind of dialogue took place many times.

I must admit I was mean to her, really mean and now she's making me pay for it. I bullied her like there was no tomorrow, but all the while I pretended I was just being her friend by telling her all about it. But never had I imagined she had this in her, this revenge thing. I was truly happy for her when I saw her touching Logan with no ill effect. Not for a second I thought I'd be losing the fun I got out of teasing her. I like her for God's sake, maybe not as much now, obviously. But I really think or used to think of her as a friend. On hindsight, I guess friends don't do what I did to her. And as the saying goes, he who laughs last, laughs best.

At this exact moment I know they are at it. He's in pleasure and pain at the same time. He knows he shouldn't be doing her, but apparently their sex is so good he can't resist her. I went inside his head when they were doing it the other day. I promised myself I'll never do that again. I can't take the pain. I saw her laying down on his office table. Her breast pressed hard against the table wood, her hair spread all over in various directions, he pulled himself into her, hard, and fast, again and again. He exhaled deeply as he watched her behind from his privileged point of view. His hands were holding her tiny waist tight, as if he was trying to strangle it.

"Rogue, you bitch, you drive me insane." He said under his breath not caring to hide the moral conflict she inflicts upon him.

"Sugar… that's… exactly…what I want." She managed to reply in between moans. She looked over her shoulder and flashed him a wicked grin.

He does it to her like he's never ever done it to me. There's a mix of fury, passion and pure sexual desire that I have never felt in him before. She turns him on in an incontrollable way, it's stronger than him. And I used to believe that love was the most powerful force there was. Apparently, judging by their merely sexual relationship, it's not. Or maybe he's just too weak or doesn't love me enough. It hurts so badly that I have this quite omnipotent view of this situation I wish I didn't have.

She thinks I'm the only one who is hurting, but so is she. She gets her pleasure from Scott, but Gambit is her guy, she doesn't realize it, but he is. She can't analyse her own feelings to come to this easy conclusion. I've heard her thoughts while my Scott was pushing hard into her, she was thinking of how her heart aches a little, she feels a sudden rush of emotions when Gambit fucks her and how it doesn't happen with my husband. She was wondering if that meant she loved Remy. Of course it does, silly!

Even though she wants to give Remy the impression she's a total slut and that he's only another guy she fucks, she's only had him and Scott. Having sex with Scott is like eating. She gets hungry, she eats. And she's starved all of her life, so she gets hungry all the time. Now with Gambit, it's a whole different thing. She makes love to him, like Scott and I do too. They are wilder than us, I think, but still.

I have a plan to screw her back, she'll see. I'm so angry at the two of them that I myself feel like getting back at Scott right now. How can he possibly think that he'll get out of this one? They won't, I know this one thing. They won't. I'd better call Logan to see if he can help me out with my plan.

.

.

I have no idea what time it is but I guess I might as well go and try his door once again. I gotta put on my best drunken face. Oh Remy, how can you fall for that? He seems to really think I don't remember what I do to him late at night.

"Hello sugar. Were you sleeping so early?"

"It's not early, it's 1:30 in the morning." He said with a somewhat angry tone of voice.

"I was wondering if…"

"I know what you want every time you knock at my door this late."

"So… if we both know it, why don't you just let me in and quit the silliness?"

He grumbled a little, not like him, he's usually glad to see me, under any circumstances as he said the other day. It just took me some gentle stroke in his hair and a peck on his lips while he stared down bitterly at me to turn him around It wasn't long before we were sweaty and panting lying side by side on his bed after making love. Love? Did I just say love?

He fell asleep shortly after. I sat on bed just to watch him. Gently I swept his hair away from his eyes. I was fascinated by watching his eyes closed. One could just forget he was a mutant, he was this gorgeous man who could have done really well at modelling but preferred stealing. I giggled a little at that thought which made him stir a little in bed. His hair was covering his eyes again. I leaned over, and gave him a little kiss on his cheek, I could smell his unique manly scent which makes me so in love with him. In love? Gosh, realization smack me hard in the face. I AM in love with him! All over again. I wanted to wake him up showering him with passionate kisses, but decided against it. I need to think it all through.


	6. Chapter 6

6

"_Minha vida é tipo um filme de Spyke Lee__ (my life is like a Spyke Lee movie)__  
__Verdadeiro, complicado, mal-humorado e violento__ (real, complicated, grumpy and violent)__  
__Você é bonito e eu sou feio__ (you are handsome and I am ugly)__  
__Sua mãe te ama, mas eu te odeio (your mummy loves you, but I hate you)"_

Champagne e água Benta – Charlie Brown Jr.

I can't decide if I should help Jean with her plan or not. She knows I have feelings for her and clearly wants to use me. What she doesn't seem to know is that I'm not an ass, nobody makes a fool outta me. Not even her!

I like Rogue, she's always been a good friend to me. I was truly honoured to be the first one she touched with confidence. I was the facilitator, she said. I'm glad my powers somehow helped her. I also know she decided to touch me in front of everybody not only because of my powers, but because she trusts me, that crazy southerner. I guess before she saw me as an unlikely father figure, but now, she sees me as a friend. I don't want to be a dick and ruin our mutual trust.

Plus, her relationship with Scott has been beneficial to me so far. I was hoping that his betrayed wife would look elsewhere for some proper loving. Besides, I love watching Scott wrecked as he is now. He's always believed he was fucking perfect. Ha! Perfect my ass! He now knows he's a mere imperfect mortal like the rest of us. Well, in fact, worse than me, I say! If I had Jean as my wife, I would never mess around. When I'm in, I'm in. It's hilarious to me how Mr. Right has proven to be imperfect, unfaithful and insincere. What a fall from grace! Ha ha! I always knew there was a jerk deep inside the four-eyed.

So back to Jean's plan, I don't know how I could get any profit out of this. The only good that could come out of it would be her fulfilling her part in the bargain and spending the night with me, you know, in my room. Just for one night, she said. Once she tastes Wolvie goodness, I seriously doubt it will be a one-time only deal. That's what I've been salivating about for God knows how long, but still, I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm not like that unfaithful bastard, I have standards and rules of conduct. I would never betray someone who's proven to be a good friend of mine. Yeah, I think I'll pass it.

Come think of it, maybe the red head wants to score and is using this whole plan-to-get-her-husband-back as an excuse to do so. I guess she knows I usually do anything for her, so I wouldn't be asking her to trade favours. Now would I do anything for her? Anything that doesn't involve me betraying my friends, I suppose.

I'm gonna call Rogue and see if we can go out tonight. Maybe if things are not going right, I could do what Jean wants and help Rogue indirectly so that way it would be a win win deal. Also I want to get plastered. I think better when I'm not sober.

"What's up, Anna? Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Hi Logan. Tonight? I was thinking… I want to go out tonight an kiss some seriously hot guys." She said and giggled a little. It reminded me of the drunken night we made out a little. We were totally wasted and I started kissing her, she didn't resist at first but snapped out of it and slapped my face really hard when my wandering hands touched her ass. That's how it began, that's how it ended, in less than a minute. But everyone in the mansion seems to think we have a thing going on. That couldn't be any further away from reality. They have implied many times that me and Rogue have already fucked, but we didn't and I really wanted to tell Gambit. Tell him that what we did have was a minute of drunken madness and it didn't mean anything and was never ever mentioned again. But Anna didn't let me do it. She said that's her way of making him pay for all the times he slept with other women while pretending to be her loving trustworthy boyfriend. I told her a guy has needs, she couldn't do it, Gumbo found some girls who could, not a big deal. But she told me off and called me a male chauvinist pig. So I kept my mouth shut and Gumbo makes a disgusted face whenever he sees me anywhere near Rogue. I can't even look her way in his presence that makes a face.

"Ok, Anna. We can have a few pints and then you can do whatever you please."

"Hummm. Deal then. But why do you sound so desperate to get high, huh?"

"Since when do we need a reason to drink?"

"Ok, I got your point. Listen, can I bring Remy along?"

"Well, I have nothing against him, I like him, I do, but the guy hates me. Why do you want to bring him? You guys will always have the end of the night… And, what about the kissing you said you wanted to do?"

"That's exactly why! He needs to see it! Feel what I've felt! Also, I'm… I'm getting weak and… I think… er… I guess I'm falling with him all over again. I need to do something about it."

"God damn it, Anna! He's never meant for you to see anything. You followed him!"

"You men are admirably a united bunch of bastards. You're always defending him, even though he accuses you with his eyes every time he sees us together. Well, I gotta go now. I'll track him and invite him to come. It's decided."

"Will you invite him only? Ha! I'm sure you'll do much more than just inviting him. And then, my dear friend, if you say you think you're falling, once you guys do it again, you'll be kissing your heart goodbye for once and for all. The guy seems to have a talent with the ladies from what I hear. I have no idea how you have this thing you have going on, whatever you call it, for this long and still claim you don't love him. I don't think you're falling, Rogue, you were never out of it to start with. "

She bitched about what I said a bit and hang up a minute later. I guess I gave her something to think about.

I got a bit pissed that Gambit is coming because that way I won't be able to talk about Scott tonight as I'd planned. I'll have to find some other time in her busy schedule of training, teaching, fucking my beloved one's husband, fucking her own man, going to strip classes or whatever it is that she calls it. Fuck! This is going to be harder than I thought! I might as well go to the war room, program Sabretooth and have my fun. That will take my mind away of other people's problems and make me happy. And maybe later, I'll go talk to Jean, not about her stupid plan, but talk about us. Me and her. She thinks she loves the four-eyes, but I'm sure she's got a little crush on me. She's had enough of perfection, I'm sure she likes my grumpy ways. At least I have always been true to her, never hid my feelings. Yes, man, I think I might be very close to getting what I want now. Closer than ever before.

.

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I had gathered all my self-respect and courage, I was determined to tell her to fuck off and forget we were ever an item. I was going to say 'no' to her for the first time. But she came again, looking as hot as ever, but at the same time, there was something about her which reminded me of her old self. I can't say what it is, whatever it was it disarmed me. I tried to ignore all that, but she was so delicate, touched my hair lovingly, gave me a little kiss, and oh yes, silly me I gave it all in. So much for trying!

We did it yet again, but it was different this time. She wasn't hungry as always, we took it slow, spent a long time kissing and caressing each other before actually doing it. And there went all my hope of talking seriously once it was all over. I want to end it all. I think I still do. I don't want to share her with anyone, specially not with him. This has got to end.

Interestingly enough, when I finally take this decision, that's when she surprises me with little things that make me want to go back on my decision. Last night, I was sleeping and remember her kissing me as I slept. Was it a dream? I don't think it was. I remember feeling it. I must've been too tired, I should've woken up and asked her what it was all about. Then earlier today, she calls me and asks me out. She hasn't done that in ages. Now my silly old heart is filled with hope and joy. I can't help but wonder if she loves me. Or could it be that she's realized she's losing me and just can't let me go? I know I'm a fool, but I can't lie to myself, I truly hope it's the first option.

…

I included an extract of a song by Brazilian "skate rock" band Charlie Brown Jr because it's "very Wolverine". If you like rock, punk rock, you can find this song on youtube.

Originally I had a song for each chapter but decided against having them in the English version. Also, chapter 7 will be the last one I'll translate as it was the last one that I had published, after that I'll be writing brand new chapters for you guys. I have lots of ideas already, so I hope it will all work out. I promise I won't leave it incomplete.

Thanks for the latest reviews. It always brightens my day.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

As I got dressed I was thinking of the things I was going to say to her. I practiced dialogues in my head. Things like 'I don't want to be your booty call every other night', 'You've changed so much I can hardly recognize you, chére' and the all-time classic 'We can still be friends'. Truth is I'm not entirely convinced this is what I want. What I really wanted to say is 'I still love you', 'I want you to be all mine', 'I wish we could go back in time so you could undo all the bad you've done to us.'

We used to be so simple, so easy, we loved each other even though we couldn't touch, and we were so good together, I mean, not sexually obviously, because there was none of it, but it was so nice to be around her. There was none of this heartache. I wouldn't be so tense as I was at that very moment, waiting for her to meet me up at the hall.

I could hear myself exhaling heavily as I pondered over our relationship. And then, then I saw her at the top of the staircase and the cloud lifted instantly. She was a vision of perfection! Her long hair adorned her arms adoringly with its subtle curls. She was wearing one of her killing little black dresses. It was short but not in any way vulgar. I decided she looked cute in it. Her beauty was unbearable, it drove me to despair. And the most striking feature in her look was still to present itself, the huge smile she flashed at the exact moment when our eyes met.

"Hey, sugar." She said as she got close to me, she tucked her hair behind her ears self-consciously. She looked… shy? Was I imagining things? Words left me and I couldn't say anything at all. "Remy? You can say hello to me, you know?" she continued, showing a little bit of irritation at me not saying anything at all. I felt this sudden crippling urge to have her which I had to battle to utter any words at all. I took a deep breath and managed to speak.

"Chére, I… I… I can't… you, you look stunning."

"Well, thanks, Cajun. You don't look bad yourself either." She said with a grin. "Do you want to drive or should I? Logan has left already, he's riding his bike tonight."

I could hardly say anything. The more I looked at her, the more I knew as clearly as I know I am going to die one day, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined. I love this woman, no matter what pain she puts me through, I'm completely helpless, I am deeply in love with her.

"You'd better drive, I don't think I'd be able to focus on the driving."

"Why not?" She seemed genuinely oblivious to the effect she has on me. "OK, I'll drive." She said without waiting for me to answer her question. She stopped short though, thought for a moment and added "Are you… turned on?" She laughed at me. "Well, we can take care of that later, if you're lucky, that is." She laughs again, laughs at my despair. She must think it's hilarious that I now depend on her to experience sexual pleasure. And it's true, I do, after I had her, I just couldn't bring myself to go to bed with any other women. "Let's go then, sugar." she added and that's when she offered a hand for me to hold.

"So we're back to holding hands after all this time, huh?" I had to be a jerk and point it out, provoking the most surprising reaction on her. She blushed! It has been ages since I last saw her blushing and before, she used to blush all the time. What in the world is going on? She can't be faking it, can she? I don't think so.

"Sorry, I…" She said in the tiniest of voices as she hugged herself self-consciously and kept walking without looking at me. I walked a little faster and stopped her by holding her right shoulder.

"Sorry, chére. Of course I want to walk hand in hand with you. It's just that I wasn't used to that anymore. I loved holding your gloved hand, now there are no gloves at all. Here, you see, easy." I held both her hands in mine and kissed the back of each one of them. She smiled and said nothing.

After our first little drama of the night, we started making our way out of the mansion, hand in hand, with a silly smile on both our faces. But just as we were about to leave, in the hall come Jean and Scott holding shopping bags. What an awkward situation! Anna held my hand tighter, like a child that's got scared by something and needs reassurance. We kept walking and she stared down at the floor as if her life depended on that.

"Hi you guys." Jean said, Scott looked as uncomfortable as my chere did and didn't say a thing.

"Bonsoir, Jean."

"Hi." Anna Marie was hardly audible. Her eyes had still not moved away from staring at the floor.

Once we were finally out of the mansion, I could hear her sighing in relief. We walked to the car, hand in hand without saying a single word to each other. When she took her place in the driver's seat, she leaned forward, closed her eyes, put both her hands on her forehead and let her fingers slid down through her hair slowly while sighing heavily. I didn't dare to ask what the matter was because I knew exactly what it was. She is realizing now how much she's screwed us all. There was nothing I could say, there's no consolation to that. I don't know if we'll ever bounce back from such heartache.

….

"Oh there you are, you two! You guys left me waiting here forever. I had to start drinking by myself." The shortie said as we walked in the bar. I refrained from saying anything at all. I don't sympathize with him, not anymore. We used to be buddies, but that was before he started having his share of my girl… What am I doing here again? I can't believe I'll spend the evening with the two of them. Rogue and her two men! Maybe we should call Scott to join us…

"I see you are drunk already, Logan. Give us a break, will you?" Ma belle replied.

"Were you guys doing it in the car, is that why you took so long?"

"There's none of your business, Wolverine." I spit back at him.

"Guys, guys, relax. I took longer than I usually do to get ready. I wanted to look good tonight… for you, Remy." She said with a smile, and she blushed again as she said my name. What is going on? I want a book, a guide, to teach me how to understand this woman.

We sat at the table where Wolverine was in, we sat next to each other and she rested her right hand on my inner thigh. I was like 'OK, then' and decided not to comment anything about her hand on me.

"I'm gonna get you two lovebirds drinks. What will you have?" We told him what we wanted and were once again left alone. I looked down at her, trying to catch her eye, when she looked at me her eyes were shining. I lift her chin with one hand and wrapped my other arm around her shoulders and then I kissed her. Our kiss grew from soft to urgent, she moaned lightly against my lips. How am I ever going to break free from her when I love her so much? I love kissing her, the taste of her lips and her beautiful green eyes shining bright when our eyes are locked. She started trailing kisses down my neck while secretly touching the bulge in my pants. Her hands under the table, well out of anyone's sight, wanted to feel my erection. I was about to invite her to a mischievous quickie in the men's room when the adamantium beast came back…

"Rogue, if I knew you guys would be like this, I would've stepped out of the way. I just thought I'd see you kissing other guys in front of him. I couldn't miss that for the world!"

'Logan, shut up! There's going to be none of that. I've changed my mind." She spoke hurriedly.

"Oh why not? Oh I know! You fell for good." He laughed out loud. "You are crazy in love with him and gave up on your revenge, didn't you? I always knew it would happen." He blinked at her.

"Hey, what are you talking about, you dickhead?" I couldn't believe what I had just heard! She planned to hook up with other guys and she wanted me to see it? Revenge? Revenge for what? I felt a rush of adrenaline spread through my veins.

"Gumbo, there's so much you don't know..." He said trailing off. I looked angrily at Rogue and she didn't look back at me, she was busy nervously downing the drinks Wolverine had just brought us.

"I'll go get another round." She stood up briskly, as if running away. Well, in fact, that was exactly what she was doing, she was running away. She still hadn't looked at me, she turned to Logan and said with a rather shaky voice. "You! You drunk bastard! You shut the fuck up!"

But just as she turned on her heel, he started dishing out all the truth to me, his alcohol stinky breath was nauseating me.

" Gambit, listen to me, don't you give me this evil eye anymore. I've never fucked your girl. Never, ever. I swear, man! You know I can be many things, but I'm not a liar." He had a point, I don't believe he was lying. I've never seen he even trying to

"So why did… why did she never say she didn't?"

"She's only been with you and Scott. Oops, sorry, you know about Scott, don't you?"

"I do!" I grunted. "What about her nights out with you?"

"We drink, we talk shit, we play snooker, she dances and kisses one or another guy. But that's pretty much it. You thought she was screwing guys like crazy, didn't you?" He laughed out loud, Anna Marie was still at the counter and Wolvie's laughter made her turnher head and stare at us. She was frowning and biting her nails. When she saw me looking at her, she looked the other way, as if waiting for the guy to bring her drinks. That was it! I'd had more than enough of this shit. I stood up, walked up to her and grabbed her by her arm more violently than I intended to. She looked at me with a panicky expression on her face.

"Why? Why were you bringing me here to see you seduce other guys?" I demanded.

"I was not going to do it anymore." She almost whispered her reply.

"Why would you do that to me? What's wrong with you? What have I ever done to you for you to think that I deserve to see you with other guys? Why are you fucking Scott right under my nose? Why all of this? Why?" At this point everyone in the bar was staring at us. She mumbled something in reply that I could not catch.

"What? What did you say?" I barked.

"BECAUSE YOU CHEATED ON ME REPEATEDLY FIRST!" she shouted and stormed out of the bar. I was absolutely flabbergasted. It all made sense now, she knew. She's always known I fooled around and she made me pay for it. She must fucking hate me.

I looked at Wolverine, as if asking him what I should do next. He got the clue and motioned for me to follow her. And so I did.

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Thank you all for you reading and special thanks to recent reviewers. It's great to know that someone is actually enjoying reading it as I enjoy writing it.

I'd like to apologize to you all for the cliff hanger. The chapter was getting so long and to conclude what I wanted to say it would take me many more words, so I decided to cut this one short.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

I should've known the evening was going to flop. Even though I was so excited to go out with him, when I saw Cyclops, it was like a bucket of cold water being splashed over my head. It was reality crushing over, things are not that simple. Apparently, I cannot just decide I'm back in love with him and everything will go back to the way it was. It won't. There's Scott, there's the other guys, there's him and his other ladies before and during me. There will always be resentment. But no matter how deep down we go with all this mess, my heart keeps telling me there's a chance. Or maybe it's just… I don't know what it is, honestly.

I was so angered at him back in the bar, when he found out that I did it all on purpose, just to hurt him back. He blamed it all on me. How could he? It never occurred to him that I knew that he cheated on me and that it hurt? It hurt sooo badly. I had trusted someone for the first time in my whole life, I called him my boyfriend, I gave my heart to him. I avoided doing that for my whole life, he comes, charms me, just to go and make a fool out of me in the end. The familiar feeling of hate came back with all its might when he spoke to me harshly for everyone to see and hear. I had to get out of that place and just as I did, a guy followed me out.

"Excuse me, excuse me. Anna? Are you ok?" asked the guy, trying to look at me in the eyes while he spoke.

"What? Who are you? How do you know my name?"

"Well, er… we… we met the other day. Remember? We…talked, we… made out... a little."

"Oh sorry, I'm… I can't say I remember you. Sorry about that." How embarrassing was that?

"Anyway, I… I just wanted to check that you are ok. That guy back there, the way he treated you... Do you want me to drive you home or something?"

Poor thing, he seemed genuinely concerned. And I was feeling down, I might as well have thrown myself into his arms and sob my heart out. But just as the thought crossed my mind I saw Remy coming out, he seemed to be looking for me at first. I saw him at the exact second when he spotted me in the dark. His facial expression turned from worried to furious. He walked up to us purposefully. My heart sank in anticipation for what was about to follow.

"Hey you, little piece of shit! Who the fuck do you think you are? Get away from my girlfriend!" Uh? Girlfriend? Now it's my turn to ask if we are back to that after all this time… Ok, I detested the way he was acting. But I can't deny that his jealousy turned me on. He had been so weak lately, taking all the crap I threw at him without much complaint. Not today though. That cave man behaviour of his, like 'this is my woman' must do something to my hormones. On my defence, I can also add that I was a little tipsy. Oh, and that we are talking about Remy… goddamn sexy.

The poor fellow looked into his dark eyes and widened his own in fear.

"Anna, he's a mutant! You have to get away from him, seriously. Let me drive you home." Oh no, there we go again… us 'muties' the revolting creatures…

"Drive? Man, you are misinformed. If you're so afraid of mutants, you should get away from this one here. And don't need to worry about her, she can fly home if she so wishes." The guy started running. Oh, so predictable. He finally turned to me, and said. "Chére, we need to talk." He came close to me and threw his right arm around my shoulders and started walking me to our car. Once we'd reached it, he leaned on it while I stood a few inches away from him with my arms crossed.

"Oh do we?" I looked at him with a disapproving look on my face, as disapproving as I could master given that I was a bit high.

"So you knew. What can I say? I wanted to have what you couldn't give me. I thought it was obvious that I was going to do that. I didn't know you would be so rancorous as to plan your sweet revenge on me."

"Oh really? Do you really think I was going to go like ok, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. So how do you like it now that you've tasted your own remedy?"

"It doesn't taste good, chére." He lowered his head, his gorgeous hair hid a good part of his face. Does it he do it on purpose? This abandoned puppy impersonation has to be his way of breaking me.

"Remy, you hurt my feelings really bad. I didn't let anyone near me because I knew, God, I knew I'd be heartbroken! Then you come along with a world of sweet promises, makes me fall for you, just to crash my heart into tiny pieces later on. Why would you take your time, invest in our relationship and then sleep around? Why didn't you just let me be and went ahead and lived the life you wanted to live with all the women in the world if that was what you wanted. You should've just left me the fuck alone!" I could see he was growing mildly irritated. But I continued. "Besides, you of all people, I thought you'd understand that I was not being a slut, it's just that, after my power emerged I had never ever touched people without knowing I could put them in a coma or worse.. . It still amazes me what I can cause you or any other guy, the arousal, the pleasure and there are just so many ways you can touch and be touched. When I was first able to touch, I was overwhelmed and I wanted it all, now I'm starting to get settled. It was not only to get back at you, you know? I had to experience it all."

He considered what I said in silence for a moment. His nostrils flared while stared heavily at me. His lips were immobile and didn't give away what he was thinking. It made me a little uncomfortable, I felt like he was reading my soul. There I was, I laid it all on the table and was anxious to hear what he would make of what I said.

"Petite, for what I've done, I'm sorry, really, I am" he paused and patted his trenchcoat for cigarettes. He got one from a packet, and seemed in no hurry to light it up. Oh great! As if I was not dying in anticipation, he took his time showing complete disregard for my affliction. After lighting it up and put it in his mouth and inhaled the smoke, held it in his mouth for a moment and spoke only after slowing exhaling.

"But chére, I never thought it was an offense to you me hunting for sex. I did it so that I could keep it up with you. And I didn't do it on your face. And if it's any consolation, most of the times I pictured you, I imagined I was doing it to you. It was sad and pathetic, but that's what I did." Inhale, exhale. "But you, you ruined me ever since you started this game of yours. You chose someone we both knew very well to be your lover. You kind of broke up with me to be with all these guys. What for, chére? We could have been great, but you started treating me like a party left over. And I accepted it, because you know, it's easy to make me feel worthless of you, because of what I did, the murders on my back, with me, it all goes back to that." Inhale, exhale again. This was getting old. I should have made him eat that fucking cigarette… "You knew it, and you didn't care. I lov… loved you… love you, no, loved, you get the picture, and you, you didn't even care to hide it all from me, you wanted me to know and to suffer. That's plain mean of you."

"You know what, Remy. I guess people don't get other people's suffering. You'll never know how much you hurt me and I'll probably never know how much I hurt you back. We are a pair of completely screwed up people. We've got all our traumas, the guilt, the pain… I thought we connected because of that, now I see that we connected in spite of that."

"True, chére." He said just before throwing his cigarette butt on the ground and stepping on it.

I find it amusing that we were chatting nonchalantly like that. Many times I imagined how it would be like when we actually had a confrontation and came clean about everything, it always involved a loud arguing, perhaps some objects being thrown against the wall, or even physical violence, like someone being slapped across the face and stuff. But never this.

"So, er… what do we do now? Where do we go from here?" I asked, feeling completely helpless.

"You get in the car and I'll drive. You're not fit to drive." He said matter-of-factly. I did as I was told. He drove us back to the mansion. We were in such a happy mood when we first saw each other that evening and the night was about to end and it couldn't possibly look any bleaker. Once we got there, he got out of the car and opened my door for me. The sadness I was feeling must've shown because his hardened face disappeared when he looked at me. He kneeled on the ground and rested his head on my lap before I had any chance of getting out of the car. Even though I was taken by surprise by his display of vulnerability, I started caressing his hair gently.

"Why is this so hard? Why?" he said.

"What's so hard, sugar?"

"Saying goodbye to you. Letting you go and live your life whichever way you want to." I felt as if my heart had just been stabbed. I got so nervous that I think my body started shaking a bit. Never had I imagined this day would come.

"Well, I… I…" my voice was shaking, I couldn't speak. I felt an unannounced tear roll down my face. "Sugar, I… we don't have to part ways, especially if we still feel we have feelings for each other."

"We do, chére. We do. Because our mutual trust is broken, how could we ever be something for real after all these lies, this disregard for one another's feelings?" He lifted up his head and saw me crying. He softly brushed my tears away with his thumb, then he kissed my cheeks where the tears had been. But it turned out his gesture had the exact opposite effect and I just couldn't keep myself for crying even more. I started sobbing. Why was I so unprepared for those words of his? How in the world did I not anticipate this? I guess I took him for granted and now I regret that. I finally pulled myself together and was able to speak.

"What happens now?" He lowered his head and looked as if he was thinking of what to say. I continued. "Let me ask you this, Remy, tell me, as a friend, do you think people may fall in love again?"

"What do you mean, chére?"

"Am I destined to be alone forever now?"

"Well, I suppose you can find someone else and start anew."

"Really? Have you loved many women?" he looked uncomfortable at hearing that question. I tried to rephrase it. "Do you think it's possible for anyone to love more than one person in their lifetime, like having more than one 'love of my life'?"

He sighed heavily, lifted his head and looked into my eyes to answer. "Honestly? I don't know. I have had more than a lady that I thought I really liked, but then, there was you. And it was no way close to what I've felt before. It was much stronger." It was, he said. That's all I could hear him say. It's over. More tears followed. "Even after you did what you did to me, I kept loving you, wanting you. Truth is, I still do. I still want you, but I just can't go on like this. I'm entitled to some self-respect, aren't I? I have to love myself more than I love you. I haven't loved myself at all lately." He paused and grinned sadly, if that's even possible, but he did. "You, ma petite, I never thought you'd react to my decision this way."

His lips then slowly moved towards mine. And we kissed. What a great kisser he is! He then moved away only to graze his lips against my neck while breathing in my skin. It was so intense, so heartfelt. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation. He started trailing kisses down my neck, then cupped my breasts with both his hands and moved on to kissing my cleavage. He then went back to kissing me passionately and slid a hand under my dress. I wanted him to have me so badly. I want him to fuck me senseless inside that car, but all of sudden, he stopped the action.

"Sorry, chére. I'm sorry, we can't break up like this."

"Oh yes, you can, sugar. Give me this one last time at least." I pleaded. And with that I pulled him away from me and took off my dress while staring deeply into his eyes. He couldn't keep himself from gasping.

"Ma belle, don't you think this will make it so much harder on us?"

"I don't care, I need this. Remy, please." I said as unhooked my bra.

"Anna, we're at the parking lot. Anyone could catch us here." He said but there was no need for me pleading anymore. He gave himself in. We went to the back seat. He laid me down. He kissed me all over, as if saying his farewell to every inch of my body and boy, it made me tingle. He gave me the best oral sex ever, as if that was even possible as he was always so good at that. My body quivered with pleasure. When he finally pushed into me, I had already orgasmed three times. How will anyone be able to give me that? No one!

Then it was my turn to straddle him like crazy, placing my hands and knees in each side of this perfectly sculpted torso. I came again. He then laid me back onto the back seat again, propping me up on my elbows and letting my bum hang off the edge. That gave him a full view and full control of the moves while I laid back and enjoyed myself. I moaned loudly and unashamedly as he pumped harder and faster into me. We both reached orgasm together this time.

I was so aroused by sex, that I had almost forgotten this was break up sex until it was his turn to burst into tears after sex was over. Breaking up? I guess we're doing it wrong.

**.**

**.**

**.**

This has just been the last time we made love. I can't believe I finally broke up with her. It will be for the best, I suppose. For both of us. But how will I go on, seeing her every day and having the memories of great nights of sex like these? My heart aches and I know I still love her. Maybe I should go away for some time.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

I hadn't heard the familiar knock on the door for over a week. They seemed to be trying to reconnect for good the day we met them at the hall. She hadn't seen me for three days prior to that evening. They looked like what they used to be, holding hands, acting all lovey-dovey. However, to everyone's utter surprise, especially ours, Gambit fled the mansion on the following day. He's off to Louisiana with some lame excuse that the Thieves' Guild is claiming his presence. But I know better than that.

I know he must be trying to get away from her, from their destructive relationship, from the inevitable pull of attraction. I know it very well because all this time I've also been trying to resist her, and it's been too impossible a mission for me. I can only imagine what it's like for him, having history, feelings involved and all that. Luckily for me, it seemed that she had decided to discard me, so I didn't have to say no to her amazing body. Jean is happy, then I am happy. Things were getting back to normal between us two.

My sense of accomplishment and relief was short-lived though. My happy thoughts were interrupted. Knock, knock, knock. I sighed heavily, stood up and opened the door. Unfortunately, or should I say fortunately, she wasn't grinning and flashing me those sexy malicious eyes. Her eyes were not focusing on my body as usually, or on anything else for that matter. She kept her arms folded and looked down as she asked me if she could come in.

"Of course you can, Anna." I replied. She looked terribly sad, my heart sank in sympathy and I just didn't think twice before opening my arms wide so that she could throw herself in them. And so she did, without a second of hesitation.

"He left me, Scott. I screwed it up with him, with you, with Jean… with myself. I… I'm sorry to come here and disturb you, but I… I needed a shoulder to cry on and I didn't know who else to turn to. Everybody else will judge me. I think, I…" Her confusion and torment showed in her babbling.

"Shhhh…. Shhh… you don't need to justify yourself." I caressed her back gently and felt her whole body trembling. She was crying. Should I be offended that she is sad because he left? I don't think I should, there was never any serious romantic intention between us two. I knew she was his and she knew I was Jean's. I wouldn't leave my wife for her but I couldn't help but have special feelings towards the girl who was in my arms. Feelings of love, I love her like a friend would. I didn't rejoice in witnessing her pain, of course I didn't. I truly wish her well. Moreover, we had some great sex the two of us, and I guess being partners in crime drew us closer somehow and that was being attested at that very moment. She came to me for help, for understanding. I know Jean wouldn't appreciate it if she walked in on us locked in an embrace, but I couldn't help feeling flattered that she trusted me.

She slowly pulled away from my arms. Her face was wet with tears but they weren't rolling down anymore.

"Rogue, er… Anna, I don't mean to hurt you with my words, but seriously, didn't you know that this was a possibility? That eventually, he would get tired of your… behaviour. He wanted you to take him seriously."

"Well, you got away with it." She replied instantly. I know she didn't mean to accuse me, she didn't speak harshly. After all, it's a fact, isn't it? I did get away with murder. "Sorry, I… I didn't mean to… don't take offence, please."

"None taken." I replied honestly.

"So tell me, how did you do it? I mean, seriously! How did you get to keep Jean? What do you think I should do? Should I track him down and tell him I won't accept no for an answer, and that he has to be mine. Or should I just keep doing what I was doing? Or maybe try to fall in love with someone else? Perhaps go on dates? I can't help it. I seriously don't regret any of what I've done. I can't fake repentance. But I feel I do love him. I want him back and I'd like to start fresh. I could be faithful to him if I had him for real this time." She spoke hurriedly, as if she was talking to herself only, considering her options.

"Anna, do you honestly believe I have an answer to any of these questions? This is something only you will be able to evaluate. But if you want him back, and want to prove to him you could be his girlfriend without lies and cheating, for starters, I don't think we should see each other… er… privately…"

"I didn't cheat on him!" She interrupted me. "We weren't officially together."

"I never got how exactly you broke up with him if you kept doing him all the time." I said accusingly, with a hint of jealousy in my voice. It caught me by surprise.

"Well, I told him I wanted to explore my new possibilities, go out with other guys if I had to and that he was free to do what he pleased as well. It sounds funny now, as if he wasn't already doing ANYONE he pleased before I authorized him." She sighed heavily. What a mess these two! I didn't know they had agreed on that. "But hey, why are you saying that? Why would it bother you?"

"Well, nothing, it's just that… never mind." Phew! That was a close one. I don't have feelings for her, or do I? No, I don't! I'm 99% positive I don't!

"Anyways, thanks for talking to me. Come to think of it, I even hate him a bit now…." She blinked. Of course she didn't. "Talking to you definitely helped. At least I got it all out of my chest. I desperately needed it." But just as she was about to leave, in a silly move, I held the door shut. She stared at me with a puzzled frown. "What…" And I kissed her. As of now, I'm still at loss for words as to why I did that. Wasn't I glad that our fling would finally be over?

The taste of her lips is heavenly. I kissed her again and again. Just as she threw her arms around my neck, I held her in mine and pinned her against the wall. Now I'm officially the bad guy. For the first time, I was the only one to blame. She didn't try to seduce me, I took the initiative this time. What was I to do? All of sudden desire consumed me and I had to have her. The way she reaches orgasms again and again so easily drives me crazy. That's the fantasy of every guy. Who doesn't want to give their lady the ultimate pleasure? She's so sensible to touch, she probably has no idea she's that good at it. I wonder if Gambit has ever told her that. After it was over, she started crying again. I hugged her tight, caressed her hair until she stopped sobbing. She gave me a tiny smile and left me without a word.

And there goes my hopes of being a faithful husband ever again.

.

.

.

I cannot believe Logan! I'm going to hit him so hard across his face, give him an earful like it's nobody's business. What in the world was he thinking when he opened his big mouth and had Remy learn all about Rogue's revenge? Just when they were rekindling their romance, she would leave my man the fuck alone, and we would be back to what we were. Simple and easy as that.

I had specifically asked him to help me out with that and if he did, as a thank you, I promised him we'd have a one-night stand. But I was just teasing him. I was not really considering going ahead with that. Ok, I wanted to make Scott pay me back. If he could fuck someone else, then so could I. But I just didn't have the guts to actually do it.

Logan and I had arranged to meet outside the mansion, in a diner in Central New York, well away from the curious eyes of our team members. When I arrived I instantly spotted him, even though he was looking like someone else. Grumpy Wolvie was nowhere to be seen. He was actually looking like a perfect gentleman, which I know very well he isn't. He was all groomed, looked around expectantly, until our eye met. I couldn't help but have warm feelings towards him. I flashed him my best and sincerest smile. Poor him, he is truly in love with me. I could sense his thoughts. It must be awful to be in his shoes, he knows I'm never going to be his, I am Scott's. But should I still be his?

"Hey, Red head!" He waved at me. Now there's no going back.

"Hello Logan, and don't you red-head me! I'm furious at you. How could you? Instead of helping me as I'd asked you, you made things a whole lot worse for me. If Gambit and Rogue got back together as it seemed they were going to, there were no longer going to be afternoon encounters with my husband. Now you've practically thrown her in his arms! It will be a matter of time until she feels lonely and looks for sex elsewhere. She most definitely won't go celibate because of her broken heart. Damn you, Wolverine!"

"I'm sorry, truly sorry for them and ok, sorry for you two. I didn't plan any of that. If only they'd arrive on time, I wouldn't have had time to have so much booze and get so clueless. Now Rogue won't even talk to me." It seemed he genuinely regretted what he'd done.

"Yeah, you screwed up big time. If Remy is not here, she's not talking to you, guess who she's going to turn to for support? I'm sure it's going to start all over again. " I said angrily.

He ignored what I just said and held the hand I had rested on the table in both of his. He did it oh so gently. He carefully read my reactions.

"Jean, don't get me wrong, but why do you want to maintain a relationship like this at any cost? He's obviously distracted and his disrespectful behaviour towards you is unacceptable. I think you deserve better than that." He spoke gently while rubbing my hand softly.

His never-before-seen flirtatious manners caught me off guard. The sweet talk that followed, the way he looked at me adoringly, laughing wholeheartedly at anything I said, it made my heart melt inside. I forgot how good it is being loved. I indulged in his attention. Those little seduction attempts of his were so exciting! I don't even remember the time when Scott and I were playing those love games before we became a couple. We were so young, he may have written me a couple of sweet notes, I don't remember very well how it all started.

The afternoon was all ours and about us. Not for even a second did my mind go back to Anna and Scott. Screw them! I was having fun, for the first time in what seemed to be a long time. We talked, laughed at silly things and when we were about to go home, he kissed me and I didn't say no.

.

.

.

A knock on my door this late at night. Who can it possibly be? I was startled as I was having one of those nightmares. This time I was under a rubble.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, mon amie."

I opened the door with a sigh. As expected, he didn't wait for me to invite him in. He hugged me tightly and said. "Mon amie, I need you tonight. Please, please say you can lend me your shoulder. I'm battered. I need someone to tell me it's going to be alright."

"What now, Remy? I've always told you this was a bad idea. I told you from the start! Leave the girl alone. Poor thing was trouble… and back in the day, when I said that, I never imagined she could be this kind of trouble. I love her, she's my friend too, but you and her… nope, too much baggage the two of you. Anyways, what's so different today from all the other days?" I hate to be right on this, but he should've listened to me. I really hoped there would be a different ending to their story, but it was written on the wall.

Ever since I realized how dark it was all getting, I just couldn't be around them. The whole episode made me sick to my stomach. I'm completely against all of what they'd done. You don't hurt the one you love, you don't sleep with someone else when you're in love. How can they even call it love? I know I was very judgemental, but I stand my ground. I'm a true friend and true friend sometimes won't support your decisions, simply because they care enough. I cared, I warned, none of them listened to me, so I stepped back.

I tried to talk Xavier into taking some drastic measure, like expelling one of them or something like that. Not permanently, just as a wakeup call. But Xavier is pro giving people free will, he would never force anyone to do whatever it was. He told me that as disturbing as it could be to us, they were adults and they should be able to make their own choices. I disagree with him. I think we omitted ourselves by not interfering at all. When Rogue pulled Scott into the mess, well, that was it for me. She went too far over the line. There were also the students. For all I know, Jubilee could wake in on them at any minute. They are hardly setting a good example to our pupils. I just couldn't stay here and watch all that mess going on. I volunteered to go on a recruiting mission, taking Jubilee with me so she could act as propaganda of what our institution can do for youngsters, and also to keep her away from that chaos. We'd just come back that evening.

"I have just ended it." He continued. I was taken by surprise, he never said he'd end it before. Even though I had advised him to do it again and again.

"You haven't!" I couldn't believe him.

"I have, mon amie. I'd been thinking about it after the last time I talked to you. Everything you said made sense. I can't let her or anyone else treat me like that. But she was acting so cool the last few days. She was so nice to me, like my old times loving sweetheart. Also, I knew she hasn't seen Scott lately. It was as if someone possessed her psyche and she was suddenly back to normal."

"So why did you…?"

"Because I learned why she did what she did." He interrupted me with sadness in his voice.

"Can I ask you what could possibly cause her to change so much?"

"She did it all to get back at me. She wanted to hurt me! Wolverine let the cat out of the bag when we were at the bar. She'd planned to hook up with other guys in my presence, to hurt and humiliate me and she shared her plan that with him. Pure evil of hers to do that, don't you think?"

I preferred not to fuel his anger and didn't answer his question one way or another. "Do you know why she wanted to hurt you?" I asked. I know I sounded patronizing, but these kids just have to learn a lesson.

"Because I cheated on her when she couldn't touch me." So that was why. Obviously! I knew it!

"I hate to be the one who say I told you so. But I did tell you so." I didn't think she would do exactly what she did, but I knew he would break her heart. And I warned him. Many times, indeed. He just wouldn't listen.

"Ororo, I didn't come here for judgement. I need your help." He lowered his head. Oh pity, I had plenty to say, but he grew rather impatient at my previous remark. "I don't know what to do. But one thing I know, if I stay here, I'll either go crazy or end up giving in and going back to being her puppy. I don't want that." He paused and gave me a hug. He kept me locked inside his arms and spoke in my ears with a hoarse voice. "Ororo, you're the one who brought me here, you're my best friend, I was wondering if there's anyone you know who could use me, help out on anything, I don't know… I'm lost." That was a hard one he was asking me. I feared that wherever I sent him, trouble would find him. He will inevitably look for rebound love and will hurt more hearts in the process. I really hope he won't resort to drinking like she did.

"Remy, my dear friend, why don't you go back to your southern roots? Spend some time with your family, maybe you can help them with the Guild for a while and when you feel ready, you come back, er… that is if… er… do you still want to be an X-Men?"

"Of course, I do, Ororo."

We kept talking until five in the morning. There was so much to catch up with. Lastly, he left my room but not before I promised to keep in touch. He said he wanted to know how she's doing… That'll be hardly a detox trip if he keeps checking on her, will it? Oh dear! If only these two had listened to me.

…..

Hello my dear readers! This one took a bit longer to come out, sorry about that. I hope it's not too bad a chapter. Busy week at work.

I want to thank reviewers once again: **Tokyo Fox**, **kataract52, warrior-princess1980 and RogueLovesGambit**. It really helps me out to hear from you guys and your views on the story. I hope you all like Ororo appearance. Who do you think is going to be next?


	10. Chapter 10

I threw a careless glance at the lady lying fast asleep on my bed and lit up a cigarette. It got me thinking of how pointless my feeble attempts of forgetting her are. After another night of binge drinking with the boys, hearing them discuss the Guild's issues, then choosing my prey for the night, I felt so bored… it's getting old already and it hasn't been even a month since I came here yet. I just want to go back to the mansion. Storm doesn't tell me much about what's going on there and I'm sure as hell they have been in some mission for I couldn't reach storm for a solid week. And you know what? This time away from the mansion hasn't done anything for me at all. She's all I think about from when I wake up in the afternoon till I pass out in the early morning hours.

This trip has been nothing but unfruitful to me. My body is out of proper training and I feel so old here. All these old memories this place brings, not mention the possibility of bumping into Bella Donna at any time. They say she's still very resentful and talks about me leaving her at the altar as if it all happened a week ago. But it's been 10 years. I really don't want to have to deal with her right now. Coming to New Orleans after breaking it off with Rogue must've been the worst advice Storm has ever given me.

Thinking of Bella Donna reminded me of ma petite's question: "Do you think it's possible for anyone to love more than one person in their lifetime, like having more than one 'love of my life'?" That beautiful voice that I have grown to love me so much, the voice that once brought me back from the dead in their hearts kept ringing inside my head. Like in a movie, a close up of her luscious lips saying 'love of my life' played in slow motion. And it played on repeat, over and over again. Was Anna the love of my life? Did she think of me as the love of her life? That's what she's implied anyway. Have I ever thought of Belle as the one, my one true love? I don't think so, I guess Bella Donna was one of those girls I really liked. Or thought I did when we were together. But I knew she was not the one, and that's why I left her at the altar. I could have always taken her away with me, couldn't I?

I know it makes me sounds like a complete scumbag, but if you knew about her and her family, you'd understand my reasons. But of course, if she'd made my heart sing, like Anna Marie does, well, I'd be willing to walk down that aisle and ignore all obstacles. So yes, I came to the sad conclusion, that maybe she had a point there. Rogue was my one and only love of my life. Sadly, I'm definitely sure that no one else will top that.

I quickly checked on the lady again, she was still sleeping soundly. I fetched myself a half empty vodka bottle that laid carelessly on the floor and started drinking from it and allowed myself to daydream of her one more time. I played our first night in my head yet another time. I took her on a date to celebrate her conquering her freedom, controlling her powers. Funny thing, the beginning of our touching started in a car and ended the same way. I parked the car, then looked at her. She smiled shyly at me. I'm no telepath but I know her well enough to know she was feeling tense. I bent over and kissed her. I kissed her full on her mouth and in a swift move, she jumped to my lap. I remember hugging her tightly and kissing her neck up and down for the very first time. And oh and the way she moaned and growled low in my ear. I cupped her breasts in my hands and slowly freed them from their garment imprisonment. I kissed, nibbled, licked them sensually. Delaying kissing her nipple as much as I possibly could bring myself to, I felt the anticipation aroused her. When I finally did kiss each of her nipples, I distinctly remember my heart ache with love and excitement when I realized her breathing had quickened and her moaning intensified. I knew what that meant, she was about to come for me. And she did, she squeezed my arms as she did so and I could feel her whole body quivering with pleasure. I hadn't even undressed myself or her, that thought made me chuckle. She was smoking hot, always found pleasure so easily… She's so sensible to touch.

"Sugar, what was that?" I remember her saying, after her breathing finally slowed down. "That has got to be the best thing ever."

I felt a bit shy, me of all people, having to tell her the obvious fact. Well, obvious to me anyway. "Cherie, I think you… you had an orgasm, you know?"

"No, I don't." She whispered.

"Ma petite, didn't you use to touch yourself?" I remember I couldn't help asking her that.

"Nah, I always avoided everything that could make me long for physical loving, so… I don't remember ever feeling this way…" She blushed fiercely.

"Come with me, mon amour. I'll show you how much greater this can get." And I took her in my arms to my bedroom where we made love passionately all through that night.

I was reliving those precious moments yet again when the forgettable girl woke up. And that's how far my daydreaming went. I threw the bottle back on the floor where it belonged and walked the girl out of my room, out of my life. It's decided, I'm going back.

….

I heard a knock on my door in the middle of the night. I had been fast asleep and got extremely annoyed at that. It was not the first time it happened. He's got some nerve coming here yet again.

First time he came over, I said no, second time, I sent him back to her again. But on the third time, I succumbed. I was so vulnerable that day, feeling so lonely, I could do with some steamy sex to cheer me up. And so we did it. And because of that silly mistake, there he was standing by my door again, grinning from ear to ear. He's completely lost any sense of respect.

"What are you DOING here?" I asked him.

"I'm here… for you."

"Have you completely lost it? Are you insane? It used to be the other way around, right? Me knocking on your door, but you see, I guess I had given you all the signs that I don't wanna do this anymore. "

"Well, last time it seemed that you wanted a lot more." I sighed in discontent. Did he have to go there? Oh of course he did. He couldn't just take no for an answer. Would he keep coming until I gave up hope and said yes to him again?

"Scott, I… I… listen, it's over. It was fun for some time, but now that he's not around, and took my heart away with him, part of the fun is gone. Now I see it was all a big mistake. Besides, where the hell is Jean? Have you lost all respect for her?"

"She sleeps heavily. She doesn't notice when I leave the room."

"Well, that's what you think. Don't you think this is getting out of hand? At first, I was the one teasing you. Now I have totally left you alone and you… that's when you decide to chase me around."

"I got addicted to you. There, said it! I can't get you… and your sweaty naked body out of my head." I shrugged at those words, and probably blushed crimson.

"Scott, please… I'm sorry but no. I'm broken-hearted, sex is not helping me. I'd rather be alone for a while."

"Would it help it if I called you 'chére'? I could do that." He said with a sneer. And that's when I slapped his face hard. So hard it made him step backwards. Noticing how hard I'd landed my hand on his face, I touched his arm and apologized, but he shook his arm away from me. He touched his glasses frames as to put them back in place. Just as I thought he was about to leave, he turned around, and in a swift move placed his hands in the small of my back, pulled me close to him and crashed his lips against mine. At that very moment, I felt my powers kicking in. His kiss was uninvited, I read it as an aggression and before I could notice or do anything about it I was sucking his life out of him. I released him as soon as I felt the pull, luckily for him. He felt to the ground and I blasted my own bedroom door.

"Keep your eyes shut." He managed to groan.

At this point I was invaded by his memories and thoughts. And oh boy, was he in love with me! What a terrible mess we were in! And I'm not talking about the wrecked door.

….

After the recent episode, I reckon Storm was right all along. I should have interfered somehow. I should have taken some disciplinary action, but I couldn't find it in me to do so. I felt that it would feel like meddling with their personal lives which I don't think is my place to do.

When I founded this school for gifted youngsters my main goal was to reach out to young mutants and help mold them into responsible mutants who only used their powers for the benefits of all mankind. By doing so, I would enable them to promote a pacific coexistence between humans and mutants.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd have to deal with the kind of problems sitting on my hands right now. Two of my most valued X-Men were sitting at my table waiting for a crisis meeting, crisis which they both brought upon themselves. So much for my dream of peaceful coexistence! My x-men can't even keep themselves from intrigue and discord.

I should be at ease with our meeting given that I can sense their feelings, I know what they expect to hear from me, I know them well enough to anticipate their reactions, but still, I feel so restless. I just don't know how to approach the issues that have to be dealt with. And most importantly, I can't help but feel disappointed at them, especially at Scott whom I always considered to be a born leader, the one who could easily substitute me in the future.

Cyclops stared blankly at me while Rogue seemed uncomfortable in her chair. I decided to put an end to their misery and speak my mind at once.

"Dear Anna and Scott, I think you both know why you are here."

"I don't." Anna said half-jokingly.

"Will you let the professor speak?" Scott asked her without looking at her, still staring at me without showing much emotion. Only I know what he was feeling at that moment.

"Well, if the two of you will allow me to continue" I cleared my throat. This was it. "I vowed not to get involved in the situation you have going on, but I guess I should have for things reached a point where lots of other things are at stake. If you two and also other X-Men subsequently involved, like Jean, Gambit and Wolverine can't work as team as you normally would, I feel I have to urge you to think about what you're doing."

"Professor, problem is, we were not…er… doing what we were doing anymore, then Scott here decides I have to be his mistress whether I want it or not, goes to my bedroom to disturb me, my body reacts as it's always done for so long… I didn't plan any of that, obviously, but he took me by surprise and I didn't have time to prevent my powers from kicking in. It's all in my mind, you know. He caught me off guard. I apologize for busting X-Mansion property, but not for reacting the way I did. He got what he deserved!"

"Don't be cynical, Anna. Just a week earlier you were in bed with me at that very same setting. I thought you were playing hard to get just for having fun."

"Oh really, did you? Well, you thought wrong!"

"Enough! Please, enough with the bickering. I just want to urge you to consider your actions better because there are bigger implications than you might think. There's the team performance, there are other people's lives, and your own safety when in battlefield. You are too distracted."

"Professor, you can count on me. I wanted to end it but Scott here has ideas of his own."

"You talk like you were not the one who started it all to begin with."

Oh dear! And there they went again. I just wanted to be somewhere else, not having to have that conversation and most importantly, I didn't want to be able to feel the sexual tension between them. Their arguing went on for a little while until I decided I didn't want to witness that anymore and removed myself from that situation.

"Very well, I think I have conveyed my message clearly. I sincerely hope you will consider what I said. For the sake of all of us, please, I urge you to break it off or do things the right way. Scott, if you have to break the news to Jean, do. Be honest, I never thought I'd have to ask you that. But just be true to your wife. Wolverine being pulled into the mess is not of my liking. We never know how he can react if he gets broken-hearted."

"Wolverine? What does he have to do with any of this?"

"He doesn't know!" And Rogue, who was behaving quite well until now, let out a strident laugh. "You don't know, do you sugar?"

"What do I not know?"

"I guess I must have read your feelings of animosity against Wolverine in a wrong way. I thought you knew. Well anyway, Rogue, I guess I should also let you know that Gambit is coming back to the mansion in a…"

"Is he?" She said dramatically placing her both hands on her chest.

"Yes, he said he really misses being a full time X-Men. Things didn't go quite as he'd wished in New Orleans."

"Oh!" She gasped.

"What do I not know about Wolverine?" Not willing to say anything about Jean and Logan, Rogue and I agreed mentally to embark in some meaningless conversation as we started to leave the room. We managed to get out of that one.

…

He's coming back! He's coming back! How am I supposed to think of anything else? Who cares about Scott and me absorbing his powers and everyone knowing what he was up to in my bedroom late at night? I don't! Even if we'll not be a couple anymore, I need to see him. I need to be able to talk to him when I need to. Storm is a great friend but she just doesn't listen to me all the time. She acts more like a mom would. I desperately need his understanding. I need him to go ahead and jump off a cliff if that's what I want to do. I miss Remy. I miss my friend, ok and lover, Remy.


	11. Chapter 11

11

He showered my lips with gentle soft kisses. Only Heaven knows how much I longed for those kisses this past month. I put my arms around his waist, feeling his body so close to me after all this time, his warmth, his smell, his heartbeat. Looking deep into his fire in the dark eyes sent shivers down my spine. It was almost as if it were the first time we kissed for I anticipated this moment so much. Our kissing grew more passionate by the second, with one of my hands I started massaging his chest, feeling his perfectly sculpted torso, still massaging him my hand started going down his hips. At that clue, his right hand went into my hair, caressing it at first, then abruptly he made it into a fist, grabbing me by the hair, he pulled my head back sensually while kissing and sucking my neck up and down. He reached down the bottom of my shirt and pulled it upwards. I raised my hands above my head to let him finish the job of taking my shirt off. Never taking his blazing fire eyes off my emerald green ones, he took off his own shirt off. I gasped at the sight of his bare chest. We shared a quick a smile and then he put his head against my chest and allowed me to feel his warm breath against my breasts. He started to run his tongue around one of them, making his way to the nipple. He ran his tongue around it and it made me quiver with delight… Knock! Knock! Knock!

God damn it! Oh no, not again! Who dares to wake me up from another delicious wet dream?

"Rogue, meeting is about to start and you're not even up. Hurry up!" Storm! It had to be her! Scott is not in a position to boss me around now, so she kind of took the role of managing me. I guess I'll only see my Remy in my dreams later on.

"Let's go, chop-chop!" She barked at me from the other side of the door.

"Storm, knock it off. I'll be down in 5, ok?"

"I'll be waiting for you here, darling. Take your time."

No getting away from Storm this morning, is there? I sighed and made my way to the bathroom.

….

I heard my own footsteps while I climbed up the stairs that lead to the main door. The surroundings were so familiar but still, I felt my heart pounding out of my chest. I rang the bell and looked across the garden nervously while I waited. I knew someone must've been watching me at that very moment. Someone must've been on guard watching the cameras. I knew it couldn't be her, she got bored of it so easily and always volunteered to do anything else but that. My mind was wandering back to her and dear moments we'd spent together at that place when Beast opened the door.

"Hello my dear friend."

"Hello McCoy. Glad to see you, mon ami."

"On behalf of all X-Men, we would like to welcome you back, LeBeau. I sincerely hope your time off was profitable." I was going to set for a hand shake or some light patting on each other's back but he pulled my hand and threw me into a big friend hug.

"I hear you guys went ahead and had some fun without me." I hadn't heard any of it, but I knew they had and Beast was sure to tell me all about it if I hinted I knew something.

"Oh yes, and your performance was dearly missed, my friend. We were nearly defeated by those mighty sentinels, but we managed to cause good damage to their headquarters. Their sophisticated computer systems and magnetizing rays were not enough to bring us down. I believe we will have halted production for quite some time." I was sure that Beast would spill the beans with minimal effort.

"Damn it! The minute I step out of that door, you guys decide to have some fun. That's not fair. Still, good news you guys did the job."

We engaged in meaningless conversation while we made our way through the corridors, I was starting to wonder if Beast felt he had to lead me to my bedroom door when I knew perfectly well how to get there when he excused himself and went his own way. Not before reminding me that we would have a meeting in half an hour.

"Can I attend the meeting, Hank? It could be a nice way to catch up."

"Of course you can, LeBeau. I guess the Professor expects you to. If you're not feeling too tired from your trip, you are more than welcome. We'll be discussing some issues we had on the last mission. An accountability session, that's what it is, really. You know the drill. I'll see you down there then."

I headed to my room quickly to drop off my things and have a quick shower and change before the meeting. Being finally inside my room again, I felt at peace. Even though that room brought up lots of memories, both happy and sad ones, I was somewhat happy to be back. Yes, I think I can make it work again and her presence shouldn't be cause of alarm. I can be around her without failing miserably to keep my hands off her, can't I? We just don't work together, I know that for a fact. We were great when it was all just a utopic loving relationship, without touch. But despite our sex being great, I say great meaning the best ever, all else failed to be as it should when we did become a real life couple. Well, I'm not going there, not going to think of the other men, her hating me and bringing up revenge upon me. She's my teammate, and that's that. I have to be professional, she'll always be special to me no matter what happens, but I'll keep in mind that the past is in the past and everything will be fine.

Focusing on my new mantra "We don't work together, we are nothing but colleagues." I made my way to the meeting room. As I went in, I quickly scanned the place looking for… well, who am I kidding? Looking for her. I saw Beast, Jean, Wolverine, the last two sitting close together. I sense they must be having an affair. The glances they exchanged, I'm pretty sure they are a couple now. Professor Xavier, Jubilee and a new teen whom I hadn't met before were also there, the girl's probably the one Storm said Jubilee helped her recruit. Anna Marie was nowhere to be found. Nor was Storm or… Cyclops. I didn't realize he was right behind me, entering the room unaccompanied just seconds after I did. He came close to me from behind me and whispered in my ear: "Are you looking for her, Gambit?" I jumped at that and narrowed my eyes at the sound of his voice. He continued. "No need to worry about her, I took good care of her while you were gone." I looked at him over my shoulder, just in time to see the odious mocking look in his eyes. His sneer made it for me. I didn't hesitate before landing a punch across his handsome good boy's face, then complete it with a left hook. He pushed back at me and yelled: "Hey, you're back for less than a minute and are already causing trouble, Gambit. You're unbelievable!" He looked at the others, looking for support. Nobody moved an inch or said anything at all.

"You are a rat, Scott. We used to be friends, remember? And now you're teasing me by telling you're having Anna. You're such a loser to be the one who kisses and tell, huh? Well, in any case, you should've told it to your wife, not to me. This is not my business, not anymore."

The room fell silent. At this point everybody was off their seats and looked ready to intervene should our disagreement evolve into anything more serious. Ok, everyone but Logan who might as well have been given a bucket of popcorn to enhance his experience of watching Scott's ass being kicked. He had a broad smile on his face and nodded at me when I looked at him. He mouthed a "Sorry" at me from across the room. I knew exactly what he meant. I just nodded back at him in reply.

"Scott!" Jean shouted "Why are you doing that to Gambit? Why did you provoke him by saying what you said when it's not even true what you said. I know she's been rejecting you!" He gasped at her words. "Have you really entertained even for a mere second that I was oblivious to any of the things you were up to? How could you?"

"Jean, I…" He mumbled something the rest of us couldn't understand, but Jean probably did.

"Don't you bother to lie to me ever again, Scott. And you know what? Don't you bother coming to our room, I mean, my room tonight. You get your things after the meeting."

"Darling, I… we have to have this talk in private. We go way back to break it up like this."

"Well, you decided it for both of us, haven't you? You did it the minute you fell for her. You started cheating and I thought, well, he's never had another woman, it will pass as quickly as it started. But you're in love with her, aren't you, Scott? I know you are. 'Cause you know, I'm a telepath. It seems you have forgotten all about it."

"Jean…" He tried holding her hands but she didn't let him.

"I'm fine now, Scott. You know, I've moved on with my life too." She looked at Logan who flashed her a broad warm smile.

Everyone's jaws dropped to the floor at the scene. All the truth was out now. In fact, it has probably always been. The new girl was pale in shock, poor thing. Jubilee tried to help things out: "It's not always like that, you know. I mean, it's never been like that, in fact." She said shaking her head.

Meanwhile, making the most of my distraction, Scott suddenly decided he wouldn't let it go nicely and take what he deserved without a fight. So he fought me back using his powers and threw me one of his optic blasts. Both of us had extensive training in hand-to-hand combat. Without using our mutant powers, a good old fight would last forever, but still, that's what I wanted, that's how we should've settled it down, that's how men do it. But he had to go and cheat me, again, by blasting me away when I was off guard.

I was thrown across the room, hitting my back against wall and then, only then, Professor X physically paralyzed both of us by using his telepathic powers. I had a card ready in my hand already.

And it was that scene that they saw when they stepped into the room.

"What in God's name's going on?" Storm shouted.

Paralyzed as I was I had time to read ma belle's face as she walked into the room. Her jaws dropped and her teeth parted. She didn't run to me as I thought she would. She herself seemed to be paralyzed as well. The professor let me and Scott go. Telepathically, he asked us to leave whatever confrontation me and Scott thought we needed to have for later. Things were already as bad they could get the way they were. She looked at both me and Cyclops with a puzzled frown. She then walked my way, helping me up, she asked with a velvety voice: "Sugar, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I am, chere. Thanks, I can stand up all by myself." I blinked at her. She shook her head. "What happened?" She whispered. "Were you fighting because of… do I have anything to do with that? What the hell happened, will you tell me?"

"Never mind, chere. It's not worth a minute of your attention." She pursed her lips and still didn't look happy at all. But as if reading my thoughts, she said "I'm happy to see you anyway." Then she took a seat next to me. I felt my heart pumping as fast as it possibly could. Nope, no luck, my friend. Looks like I'm still in love with her. I closed my eyes, trying to think clearly. Maybe, I'm just that nervous around her because it's been so long, and because of the confrontation with Scott. Yeah, maybe it's only that.

Xavier asked us to go back to our seats and that meeting should start regardless of the little, now that was an understatement, fall out we had just witnessed. He added he would deal with the incident later on.

In silence, all of us started heading back to our seats. As if nothing had just happened, Beast started to do the briefing. Apparently he had been the team leader. Funny thing, Scott must have lost Xavier's trust. I must've snorted at that thought as everyone shot me a glance. Ma chére pretended to be focusing on Beast ramblings but I saw her warily watching both me and Scott.

Then it was Storm's turn to evaluate each of the team member's performance and list some points for action. Once she declared the meeting over, everyone whisked away from the room. As soon as the meeting was over, I made my way back to my room with the excuse that I felt really tired from the trip and needed to sleep it off. Truth is I was shamelessly avoiding her. I still don't know if I can be around her without needing her loving.

…

Staring at the ceiling, I rewind the events of the day in my head. Words can't possibly tell how I felt when I saw Remy on the floor, and both of him and Scott being immobilized by the Professor. It's bad enough to walk into a room where both the guys who ever had sex with you are, then seeing they were just fighting… It makes me cringe just to think of it. I still don't know exactly what happened. Those who were there wouldn't tell me. I tried to read them both, but everyone was avoiding looking at me in the eye. That's all so embarrassing.

I feel like the worst person in the world right now. Scott has been given time off from his duties, and I can't help but feel it's all because of me. I know how much he loves being an X-Men and everything it represents to him. This must be killing him. True, he's been a real jerk recently and I can't be blamed for that. But he was that perfect righteous leader of ours, annoying most of the time, yes, but he seemed to be a good man, a good husband. And I went there and broke the guy. I showed him how good it is to break the rules and have some fun for a change and he never made it back to what he used to be. He says he's addicted to me, Jean said he is in love with me and I can't fool myself, I know it's true, because I felt his feelings when I accidentally absorbed him.

Not making matters any better, I exchanged a few words with Remy when I saw him and after the meeting he was off in a flash. Clearly he doesn't want to be my friend anymore. He could at least give me that. I guess I brought it upon myself and should as well take it without whining, but I can't help my feelings. I want to be around him, even if it's as a friend. It makes me so sad to feel that he doesn't share my desire to be near.

I'm happy for Jean though. Truly am, she seems very happy with Logan and now that everybody knows, I guess things will be even better for them. At least some of us are not having the worst time in their lives.

I hear a knock on my door. It's him, right? It HAS TO be him! I jump out of bed excitedly and open the door as fast I possibly can. It's not him, it's Jean.

"Hey girl, I think it's high time we talked, don't you think?"


	12. Chapter 12

12

Before him, I'd be devastated by the little scene down there in the meeting room. I was uptight and used to care so much about what everyone said or thought of me. But you know what? I couldn't have cared less. I love the new me. Truly happy people don't place that much importance on things that can destruct their happiness. And now, I'm one of these people, finally.

I guess my relationship with Scott brought out the worst in me, that feeling of superiority, that spirit of competition. He always wanted to be the best X-Men, the best of Xavier's pupils, the best husband, the leader, the best at everything. And I couldn't help but follow suit. The anxiety that it brings, trying to excel at everything that came our way, it was a full time exhausting job.

On the other hand, I cannot blame him for everything. It was not all bad, obviously. Or I wouldn't have walked down the aisle with him. We were together because we had a strong affinity with each other. Like gravity, I could feel the pull. We were both Xavier's most prized pupils, it was only natural that we would be drawn to each other, stick together and share the unattainable pursuit for perfection.

Besides that, when I bullied Rogue, I felt the presence of something alien to me inside my mind. At times I felt so hateful of everyone. The Professor told me that it could be the Phoenix, yet again. He had introduced me to the astral plane when I was a young girl and a part of my mind manifested as a Phoenix raptor. He managed to later erect psychic shields in my mind to prevent me from using my telepathic powers until I was mature enough to control them and that way, I kept myself away and detached from the Phoenix force. But every now and then I can't help but feel that she influences some of my actions, mistreating Rogue was one of them.

Even so, I know I was wrong by teasing her and making her feel bad about not being able to touch the guy she loved like I could touch mine. But that didn't entitle her to seduce him, like she did. We were both wrong. In fact, I think each of us can all share the guilt on this one: I shouldn't have played her, knowing how she felt about her inability to touch people, especially her incapacity to touch her man; LeBeau shouldn't have made her fall for him if he didn't think he could commit to the no-touching policy; she shouldn't have seduced my man who, in return, shouldn't have succumbed to her moves and unzipped his pants.

But you know what? If all of this had to happen so that I could finally give Wolverine a chance so then, be it. I take it gracefully. Call it fate or destiny, in the end, this experience served its purpose. I'm madly in love with him, and he, well, he's been in love with me for quite some time. I always felt curious about him. What was that guy who's always unashamedly proclaimed to have feelings for me all about? He's always known me as Scott's girl, but that has never discouraged his feelings. He loved me regardless. However, he had no intentions of breaking my marriage; he wanted to see me happy despite of his needs. Now that's something few men are capable of. If that isn't true love, I don't know what else is.

Love with Logan is easy, it's effortless. I love him, he loves me back, we are happy together and I never feel pressed into being someone I'm simply not. I'm me and he loves me, dearly. I know he's not exactly the easiest of people. But oh boy, he makes me want to do crazy things. I could go anywhere for him, with him, have his babies if he wanted me to! I never felt that way with Scott. To me, he was this gorgeous man whom I felt I had to please all the time, I was constantly walking on thin ice because I was afraid of disappointing or embarrassing him. My load was getting heavier and heavier at each passing year. But with Logan, I'm carefree and absolutely happy. I thought I had the world when I had Mr. Right, but now I see Mr. Wrong makes me feel so much better. I like the person I am now much more than my old self.

Finally, what is done is done. There's no undoing any of what's happened. And for the sake of my newly found bliss, I don't want to hold onto the past any longer. Breaking it up with Scott was the most liberating thing I have ever done in my whole life. I know I could've been more tactful and done it in a more private manner. I don't regret it though, he had it coming his way. Besides, he is not in love with me anymore either. If he wanted to hold onto our marriage, it was simply because he didn't want to look bad. Divorces are failures, aren't they? In his book, they are and he can't tolerate being a failure in any way.

Now I feel I need to talk to Rogue. I don't hold a grudge against her, not anymore, and she should know about it. I'm entering a new phase of my life and I don't want carry these feelings of resentment any longer. I knock on her door in the middle of the night, that's the only way of having a real private conversation around here. Expectantly she opens the door to me, the poor devil, flashing me the greatest of smiles as she thinks it's Remy. Her beaming smile dissolves into a disappointed face. She furrowed her brows.

"Hey girl, I think it's high time we talked, don't you think?" I flashed her a warm smile, in a feeble attempt to calm her down. She had a panic stricken face.

"That's….uhmm… awkward. You? You wanna talk to me?" she spoke in dismay.

"Don't worry, Ana. I didn't come here to fight." I tried to reassure her, though there was no point in me trying. I could feel her fear of confrontation emanating from her.

"Well, how could that possibly be?"

"I just want to clear things up between us."

"What can I say to you now, Jean? That I'm sorry? I never thought things would get out of hand the way they did. In fact, I was so ecstatic at being able to touch, and how I'd never take the crap I took from him, from you… er… that I... I'd never given any thought to what the consequences might be…" She trailed off.

"I know how you were feeling angry back when it all started." I offered in unexpected sympathy.

"Do you? Oh… obviously, of course you do." Her eyes looked in all directions but into mine, disconcerted as she was. "This is so… embarrassing. We've… hum… had sex with the same guy." Her eyes glued to the floor now, one of her hands twirling her hair nervously.

I wanted to laugh at that, but refrained from it. She did bang my husband over and over again and suddenly now it becomes an issue.

"He's good, isn't he?" I tried to break the ice, not my best choice of words to date. We both fell silent. Then, said in unison: "Logan is better." "Remy is better." A second of silence followed than we both burst into laughter. We laughed so hard, for so long. We were in hysterics. I don't remember the last time I laughed that much. A tear rolled my face from laughing. She snorted laughing which made us laugh even more. She looked at me in the eyes for the first time since she'd opened her door, and laughed a little more.

"Gosh! I haven't laughed like this in a long time. He's… hum…" She spoke in between giggles, trying hard to put up a straight face again.

"Good. His hands… his length… Yeah. Good but…" I offered.

"…a little selfish." She finished my sentence.

"Yeah, yeah. I totally understand what you mean! Logan is more dedicated to me, if you know what I mean." She smiled broadly at me. "We used to be good friends me and you… " I said looking into her eyes. I meant it. We were.

"I know! Until you started to point out how unhappy I was for not being able to touch and have a man in my life every single time…" She spoke bluntly. Ouch! That hurt!

"For that, I'm sorry. I sincerely apologize. But you didn't need to have done what you did. We could have talked about it and sorted out our differences. That would've avoided all this heartache, you see." I pointed out calmly.

"You're probably right." A moment of silence followed. She went back to staring at the floor. "Talking of heartache," She spoke cautiously, "I'm not in good terms with Logan right now, as you might now, but I do care for him. Are you for real? Or are you just using him to get back, I mean, get over Scott?" She finished off her question by defiantly staring back at me.

"Funny that you'd mention him, he's pretty upset that you're not speaking to him. He's truly sorry for spilling the beans to Gambit, but you know what I think? He was not the one who slept with someone else, who mistreated him, treated him as second option. That was all you, you cannot blame Logan for any of that. That was your doing! You and Remy are not together because of you, and you only." I snapped.

"You did not answer my question." She calmly replied.

"I AM for real! I'm in love with him, isn't it obvious? He's treated me with such respect and admiration, I couldn't help falling with him. And if that makes you feel better, we're really happy together. We complement each other, you know? I wish you and Gambit would find such happiness too."

"About that, I think there's no way back." She sighed heavily. "He broke up with me for once and for all. Now that he's back, he's avoiding me… I thought he'd have missed me, and that he would come to talk to me, to catch up, you know? He hasn't and by the looks of it, he won't." Silly Anna, she doesn't know he's still in love with her. Should I tell her? I pondered for a while as she kept pouring her heart out to me. "I want him, I want him so badly. I long for his touch and to live in such agony… it hurts. Nothing could possibly hurts more than this love thing.

"When there's still love, there's always hope." I told her.

"But he doesn't trust me anymore. And who could blame him for that? By the way, you know that me and Logan, we really are just friends, don't you? Despite what everyone was saying, we never… I mean, we had a one off minute of drunken madness but, seriously, we never saw each other that way. You can rest assured."

"I know, Anna. He told me, he tells me everything." I said.

"Great! Phew! I thought I'd better get things out of the way. I won't be sleeping with your man ever again,I cross my heart." She said with a smile.

"I seriously hope not!" Realizing that sounded a bit aggressive, I added softly. "I trust you won't. I remember exactly how you felt when you first controlled your powers. You were like a teenager, rebellious and sexual hormones flying crazy all around. Now you are more… well, in control, don't you think?"

"More like in depression. I went from one extreme to the other. Now nothing appeals to me anymore. I hardly ever go out at night, I've been missing him like crazy, it physically hurts! I miss all the sex I was having. Then Scott coming to me offering it to me, it doesn't help. I don't wanna be with him anymore, but if I keep going on without any sex, I'll end up going back to our old habits."

"That's your choice, Anna! Why don't you try to meet someone new then? But seriously, I guess if I were you, I'd try to get Gambit back to me. Why don't you think there's no way back?"

"As for meeting someone new, I guess Storm's been taking care of it. She's been trying to set me up on blind dates. I've been refusing them all, but this week I gave in to her nagging, I'm gonna see a guy. You know him for sure. That guy, the Iceman? I guess I've seen him here once, he's an ex-student."

"Mmm… Bobby? Of course I know him. He's a great guy and, yeah he might work for you. But still, unless you get Remy completely out of your system, no one will, you know that don't you? I still think you two should rekindle your romance."

"I guess I stand no chance. I've hurt him and he doesn't trust me anymore. He said I ruined him back then and he obviously doesn't want to ever go back to that place in time. I guess this trip of his… maybe he did manage to wipe me out of his heart for good." She looked away, I saw her lips trembling. For the first time, I felt sorry for her. Maybe all that happened… she was a victim of her own powers and previous limitations. It's true, she could have chosen to do things in a different way. But perhaps one thing led to another.

"Well, I'll let you go back inside now, I'm sorry if I disturbed you, I just wanted to let you know I don't hate you for what you did, I did hate you at first, but not anymore. In hindsight, you helped me out by showing me Scott was not everything I thought he was. And now, look at me, I'm so happy with Logan and things wouldn't have changed if you hadn't…trying to find a better of saying it, but, yeah, slept with my husband."

"I've never slept with him if that makes it any better." She said.

"Oh, don't be cheeky, Anna. You know exactly what I meant. You two fucked."

"Jean! You've been around Wolvie for too long. I meant we have engaged in a sexual intercourse." We both laughed at that.

"You silly." I added. "We could be friends again, you know." I added, to my own surprise. Those words just came out.

"Maybe we can, Jean." She hugged me. It took me seconds to realize what was happening and I hugged her back. Just then, a sleepy Beast passed us by in the corridor.

"I guess now I've seen everything." We let go of one other and giggled.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

Having to turn my back on her when she looks so expectantly at me is kind of hard. Ok, it's extremely difficult, but it's doable. It's for the best, I know. Should we get together again the heartbreak that would follow would be unbearable. So it's preferable to leave a room if she pops in, resuming my training if she starts hers, this kind of thing. It's not like I'm being cruel, I do say hi, hello, exchange a few words with her. And that part is the worst. It takes me all my inner strength to keep my cool and don't let it show that I too have feelings for her. I still love and care deeply for her. I don't think I'll ever cease to wish her all good things coming her way. And that's exactly why I have to do this. She's young and free, what she did to us, I know it was childish, ok and a little devilish, but still, she should have another shot at love and happiness. Not with me, though. I know it won't be me who'll make her truly happy. Right now she thinks I could be the one to make her day, on every single day of her life, but I've lived a lot to know better than that.

Storm and I have discussed this issue over and over again. And I decided to ask her to help Anna out. I suggested she fixed her up with someone. She should go on dates, meet new people, good people, not the guys like those she met on bars, not broken guys like me. Only when she meets someone worthy of her love, she'll get over me.

I know, I know. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? Why in the world would I do that? Who would do such a thing? Who could be as selfless as to send the one they love another man's way? The gambler, dirty thief that I am, putting someone else before myself, having such noble attitudes is not to be expected, is it? But that's what being an X-Men means to me. It means that I can rise above and be someone better than I am… or used to be. Storm says that she always knew that I was capable of such gestures, but even she was appalled at my idea of finding our dear Rogue someone else, someone better than me. Better for her, I remember my friend correcting me.

"Remy, dear, don't think that's a step too far? Shouldn't we let her mourn the end of your relationship for as long as she feels she needs to? Besides, how will you feel when you see her with another man?"

"Well, I've been there already, haven't I? I put up with months of her parading her affair with Scott all over my face."

"True. You've got a point there. But still, you always knew she wasn't in love with him. And what you're suggesting is that she goes on a blind date with someone you approve of, in the hope that it will eventually become a serious relationship."

"I know, mon amie. But what do you expect me to do? Watch her sighing sadly every time I pass her by? That only makes things harder for me. And right now, it seems I'm the only one who sees sense here. She's still in love with me, it seems. And I… I just can't… I can't go through all the heartbreak again. And even though she's all I think about, whenever I think she planned what she's done to me, that she wanted to hurt me, I can't bring myself to forgive her and let it go. I still love her but I don't think I could be her man again. How could I ever trust her? "

"Mmm, so let me get this straight. Do you hate her? Or do you love her? Oooor, do you think you love and hate her at the same time?" she asked with curiosity flashing in her eyes.

"I never thought of it that way. Well, maybe I love her and I hate her, at the same time." She started to chuckle at my words. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing it's just that she said something like that about you a while ago."

"Did she? Mon Dieu! Why the hell didn't you tell me that?" I asked her in astonishment.

"You offend me with this question, Remy. You, of all people, know I'm a loyal friend."

"Oui, a loyal friend TO ME!" I pointed out assertively.

"Loyal friend to all my friends." She insisted.

"Have you helped her plan all of that?" I asked her.

"Of course not, Remy. If anything, I tried to dissuade her from doing it!"

We were interrupted by a timid knock on the door.

"Ororo, are you there? It's me, Anna." She said in a soft voice. Both me and Storm fell silent. "Ororo, please, I know you're in there. Are you alone? Open the door." Her muffled voice coming from the other side of the door made my heart race. I looked at Storm and pressed one finger against my lips in a shush gesture. She looked at me with a frown, I pointed to the bathroom door. I was going to hide there and wait for Anna to tell her whatever needed to be told. Storm flashed me a disapproving look but sighed heavily and ended up complying with my request. I went into the bathroom and remained there as silent and imperceptible as a good thief knows how to be.

"Thanks, Ororo, my very good friend. Sorry to disturb you at this time of the night, but I'm struggling to breathe here. I needed to talk to someone and specially, I needed someone to talk me out of it."

"Out of what? Why? What happened?"

"Scott's just been to my bedroom."

"Oh, dear. Sure you don't wanna talk about this, now do you?" Storm was obviously trying to keep her from saying anything that might upse me.

"Why else would I come here if I didn't?" she asked impatiently and continued speaking hurriedly. "Anyway, well, he is leaving the mansion, just for a while, he said. And he asked me if I wanted to join him, as in being his girlfriend on a road trip, you know?"

Seeming to forget all about me being in there, Storm eagerly asked her. "And what did you say?"

"Well, I refused, what else do you think I said?" Anna replied in a low voice.

"Oh, ok! Phew! But you said the other day sometimes you wish you had the guts to leave it all behind."

"Oh, that was before he came back." My heart stopped for a second at those words. She was talking about me. "Even though he hardly speaks to me, I prefer being around him than not seeing him at all." She paused and then continued. "I wish I were as determined as them both."

"Them who?"

"Scott and Remy. Remy is clearly over me already and Scott said if I didn't come with him, if I didn't wish to take things a step further with him that he would try and wipe me out of his heart. He said if we're not meant to be together then he needs some time to forget how he feels about me right now. That was a bit arrogant of his to say, don't you think? He said loving me was the worst thing that has happened to him. I made him weak, he said. Can you believe that guy?"

"That's so like him. I don't know why you're surprised, really."

"He said he either stays with me for real and quenches his ever-growing desire to be with me…" – More like fuck with me! I corrected her inside my head) – "or he is out of our deal. Again, so arrogant, there was never any deal between us. He says the way things are suspended mid-air right now keeps him unfocused and inefficient."

"So what's your concern? You said no, didn't you?"

"I did! But then he asked me if we could kiss our last kiss."

"And?"

"I let him kiss me." She paused. "And the kiss, you know, was not only kiss."

"Oh no, oh no. I don't want to know. La la la la"

"Storm, why are you acting strange? In any case, hold your horses, it's not what you think! We didn't… I mean… let me finish the story, will you, sugar? Well, he started kissing me more er… aggressively. He kissed me up and down my neck, and you know, all this time without sex, I couldn't resist. I let him kiss me all he wanted and would probably have let him make love to me, but then I moaned as he kissed me. I said something like 'Oh, Remy." I froze. So it was all about me. And her words didn't stop coming. Each one of them were like a dagger stabbing deep into my heart. "Then Scott went ballistic and asked me why the hell I ever hooked up with him if all I ever wanted was to be Gambit's girl." All the while, Ororo didn't say a word. I wondered how she looked at Anna at that moment. Did she pity her? Was she supporting her? Disapproved her? I couldn't tell just by listening. And Anna kept going. "He is right, isn't he? But you know what? I had this crazy idea. And you tell me if that could work or not."

"Oh my goodness. What can it possibly be?" Ororo finally spoke.

"I want him. I want to have sex with him. I'm going crazy! I need his touch and I need it now. I need him tonight. I want to go knock on his door right now and strip off my clothes for him and beg him to have me. I don't care if he loves me or not. I want him. That's so sad, but I don't care if I'll look desperate. I am desperate! He doesn't have to love me back, he can just use me like he used the women he fucked when we were together. What if we were friends that had sex once in a while?" The devil in me kept telling me to get out of my hiding place, take her by her hand, lead her to my bedroom and make her wish come true in the best way possible. I closed my eyes to find my inner strength to resist my most primitive instincts but the vision of her naked wearing nothing but my trench coat as she used to do didn't help me at all. Ororo's stern voice made me snap out of it.

"Ok, so now comes the part when I talk you out of it!"

Then, I hear Anna sobbing and it's the final nail in the coffin. I start wishing I was somewhere else. Someone shoot me now! What a terrible idea! What was I thinking when I decided to stay and secretly hear what she had to say to 'Ro.

"There, there, dear." I hear mon amie say. "You crying proves exactly what I was going to say. You know perfect well it will never be just the sex between you. Remy and you… nothing can come out of your relationship but heartbreak. I'm really sorry to be the one who say this to you. But it's true and you know it! I really wished, God knows how I wished you guys could be happy together. But it's been proven time and time again that you two aren't what the other needs. You love each other, then you hate each other only to fall in love with each other again. This cycle is never ending. You say you love him but you just talked about how he, using your words, fucked other women. Your voice was full of rancour. Don't you think you'd better start over?"

"I do. But we could start over, don't you think? Forget all that's been…"

"I meant start over with someone new."

"Oh no, Ororo. We had that talk before." She said in exasperation.

"Seriously, Anna! Listen to me. Do you remember Bobby, aka Iceman?"

"I guess I do. He's cute but…" A pang of jealousy hit me.

"He is a very nice guy indeed. And the thing is he hasn't been lucky in love either. Maybe you guys could complement each other."

"So his heart is completely ruined too? If he feels like I do about someone of his own, I don't see how we could help each other. It sounds more like we could be friends, not lovers."

"I know you have a good heart, Anna. Won't you even try? He also needs someone to bring him back to life. It wouldn't kill you to go out on a date with him, have some fun, 'cause he's a blast, you'll see and see how it goes."

"Maybe it wouldn't hurt." She surrendered to Storm insistence. "But do I do about Remy? I still want to go and… see him. You know? I need sex, God damn it!"

"Anna, go to your own room, have a cold shower and try to get some sleep. It will pass."

Anna must've been tired of Storm pressing the case against our relationship as she quickly went away after that. Not before being forced to promise to go on a date with Iceman. As soon as she left, I re-joined Storm in her bedroom.

"I… she…" I didn't know what to say.

"Remy, I don't even want to talk about it. What you did was wrong, wrong, wrong! I felt terrible to know you were inside there listening the poor thing as she poured her heart out. You go your own way too. I've had enough of you two for tonight."

She kicked me out before I could say anything else and she was obviously right to do so. I crossed the line, but then, I got what I deserved in return. I lay in bed battered and broken hearted wondering when or if I'll ever get out of this mess. Should I just give in and do what she wants me to do? Because I could seriously do with a steamy night of sex. Many more than just one, in fact.

And then I remembered I hadn't actually shared with her what I meant to when I went to her room that night. Xavier had talked to me in private earlier that evening. There'll be a gala fundraising event on Friday and he wants me to put a team together to keep an eye on now President Kelly. His recently changed views on mutants enraged his former anti-mutant supporters and there are talks of a possible assassination attempt. So, we have to be there and make sure that doesn't happen.

Obviously this is a big responsibility and even though I'm positive that I can handle such task, I do feel a little nervous about it. I will surely have to recruit Rogue on that mission. Her skills and her powers are invaluable to this mission, to be fair, to any mission. For that reason, I'll have to try and keep my emotions in check these days.

After all, I think what Ororo told Rogue, well, that applies to me too. Maybe a cold shower will cool me down. My head is spinning out of control after all that I heard. And I simply can't afford to get too involved in these issues right now. I have bigger things to focus on right now. Me and her, we're only two of all the mutants who live and suffer in this country.

.

.

.

….

Sorry, my dear readers for neglecting the story for as long as I did. Work + children + hubby in London for 2 weeks sums it up. I missed the story though. I hope this wasn't too bad a chapter, but I've written it for my own entertainment LOL The angst, the drama, our beloved couple 'fessing up their feelings, I love it! Please review, I love it when you do! ;)


	14. Chapter 14

I, myself, have always been neutral or so I believe I was, but truth is most of us has never trusted him entirely. To be honest, he's always seemed like a nice guy to me, but a nice guy with a dark mysterious past. Even though, accepting his past thieving career has been quite too much to ask for most of the X-Men, I always prefer to keep an unbiased view of anyone I meet until they prove me wrong. And, well, maybe the moment that guy, who's seemingly come from the future, showed up in our doorstep after crashing our gate driving a bus he'd hijacked earlier, claiming there was a traitor among us, well, maybe then, I proved I was not an exception. Gambit was the first person who popped into my mind when I heard the word 'traitor'. To my utter disappointment in myself, I was just as prejudiced as all the others. All of a sudden, it was so easy to believe a guy whom we'd never met before. And worse even, to assume that if there was a traitor among us that person could only be Remy LeBeau.

On our defence, it's true that we were all a bit skeptical at the intruder's claims at first. He was visibly confused. If he had indeed time travelled, that might have caused him confusion and also temporary amnesia. He claimed an assassination in our time had changed everything for mutants. The assassin was one of the X-Men, but he couldn't name him or her.

The Professor suggested we took him inside and so we did. By using Cerebro, we were able to gain insight into the stranger's time period. We could see all the chaos, death and destruction that tormented his world. Even so, we were not entirely convinced. According to him, President Kelly was assassinated in our time period and that event has led to the ratification of the Mutant Registration Act leading to a dystopian future where the mutant-hunting robots rule our country. In spite of all indications, the guy could be delusional, maybe he really believed that reality his own brain had created. Just then, as I was analysing all the facts, I was proved wrong in my assumptions. The man's unusual looking wristband alerted him that something, or someone, also came back through the portal besides himself. The man who claims to be called Bishop and come from the future became really agitated at that, and at his strong demands, we took him back to the site where he emerged in the present, and were all ambushed by a futuristic robot.

The robot was clearly a masterpiece of advanced engineering, I presumed. The robot was completely impervious to any of our attacks, unlike our more familiar Sentinels which we grew used to annihilating almost effortlessly. In a quick-witted move, Storm used her powers to freeze the robot solid, giving Bishop enough time to target the robot's temporal transceiver, which causes it to be sent back to its own time. Although it was quite a relief to get rid of the immediate danger, I couldn't help it but feel a little bit disappointed that I didn't have the chance to study and get a closer look at such a superb piece of engineering.

The futuristic capabilities of the robot Bishop called a Nimrod were enough proof for us to believe Bishop's story. That was it, we had just landed ourselves possibly the most important mission to date. We'll have to stop the assassination so the future won't be as bleak as we have seen through Bishop's memories. Now who could the assassin possibly be? Bishop wasn't able to give us a name.

I wonder if the professor thought of Gambit straight away the same way I did. He almost certainly trusts Gambit or he wouldn't have accepted him in the mansion. Or maybe he would accept him even so. Good natured as he is, Charles always believes in the best of people, he even has hopes that Magneto can change his views, for crying out loud. In any case, our mentor has always said that people's hearts are like deep wells, nobody knows what's at the bottom. Maybe not even he, the most powerful telepath known to exist, knew what was at the bottom of Remy's mind and soul. Besides, who knows how Gambit will feel about the X-Men in the future, if he'll feel we never trusted him and decide to lash back at us, or maybe he will get persuaded to do so by an outsider, that is, by the right kind of offer. To make matters worse, strangely enough, he was the only one who hadn't responded to the emergency call we had that morning. Where could he possibly have been that he wasn't there with us?

In spite of all mine and everybody else's quiet suspicion, we were not admittedly inclined towards any member of the team at that point, that was until Remy walks in the room nonchalantly and Bishop claims the assassin was our Cajun colleague. Before we could do or say anything, Bishop aimed his weapon and fired at our fellow X-Man.

After hearing ma belle's confessions about how she felt about me, how she still needs me, how she wants me to make sweet love to her, at any cost, at the cost of her own pride and sanity even, I tried but was unsuccessful at letting that go without breaking me. I felt so damn lonely, battered, broken hearted. Why again can't I just go to her room and fuck her senseless? Oh yes, because I care for her. I can't just go back in time and pretend I don't know all we do is hurt each other. I can't just go, have her for the night and dig the hole we're in a little deeper.

Last night, in Storm's room, I saw just how much I scarred her. She was willing to let me ride her just for the sake of it, she said I could use her. I wonder how much she would hurt it I did use her, yet again. One thing I know, I know exactly how much it hurt me to let her abuse me, use me for sex, for revenge. God damn it! Love is torture! The worst kind! I wish I could just send everything to hell. To hell with her feelings, with my feelings, with how I know damn well we'd feel about each other once it was over.

Weak as I am, I desperately needed some escape; I wouldn't be able to sleep anyway. How in the world would I fight the urge to fuck everything up again, to go to her room, strip her out of her clothes violently and do it to her like she wanted me to? No, I couldn't, and I wouldn't sleep. I need either a bottle or random sex. And so I took off to find both.

All the way I drove from the mansion to my favorite bar, I had the impression I was being followed. But I tried to shake off that feeling and headed to my usual destination as fast I possibly could. After my first drink, I noticed two brunettes staring unashamedly at me. I smirked at that. I usually prefer preying to being the prey, but those girls might as well be my drug for tonight. It wasn't long until one of them took a seat by my side at the counter.

"Hello handsome."

"Hello yourself." I said, trying to sound indifferent to her presence.

"I don't mean to pry, but what on Earth a man as gorgeous as yourself is doing here alone, with no gorgeous woman by your side?"

"I'm trying to forget one, if you really want to know."

I rambled on a bit, talked about how I thought I could never have a fulfilling relationship with the girl I loved. She listened to me and always made sure the barman refilled my glass, tipping him generously every time. I got higher and higher. I could feel the alcohol gradually depriving me of my full awareness and senses. All the memories from that point on remain a blur to me, little fragments of consciousness scattered in my mind.

"Ma chére broke my heart, fucked our colleague, hated me for God knows how long" I remember saying, "and still I love her like no one else ever will. Loving her hurts, and I, I just came here for some relief." I finally admitted.

"Mmm, enters me and my sister." She giggled and looked the other woman's way. "We could help you out, you know?"

I have to admit I was a bit shocked at how fast she was. But at the time I couldn't think straight anymore, the idea of a threesome appealed to me. There would be no way in hell I'd be thinking of Anna Marie that night. Not while I was doing something as racy as that, not while I was as highly inebriated as I was.

They took me in their car, we went to a nicely decorated apartment and the rest, well, I can't remember much. I remember riding one of them while the other hugged me from behind, nibbling, sucking and licking the back of my neck, touching my body as she did so. I also have another flash of memory when I was having the one who approached me at the bar, she was on all fours. I was having her doggy style when the other one slid under her sister so they were in a 69 position. They did play with each other too while I watched, cigarette in one hand, a champagne flute on the other. Not for a second, in my state of intoxication had I wondered how and why those women picked me.

I must have passed out then regained conscious again. I can't tell if it was a dream or if I was hallucinating, but I have a memory or a vision that's intriguing me. One of the ladies came up to me and offered me something to drink.

"Here, Gambit." She said as she placed what looked like a glass of orange juice. It took me by surprise that fact she called me Gambit as I'm sure I had introduced myself as Remy, not Gambit. "You don't look too well, drink this. It will make you feel better, I promise." I drank it without hesitation and I passed out in no time. If that scene has actually taken place, if it was not just a mere product of my drunken mind, then I'm sure that drink had been spiked. Just before I passed out, the lady shapeshifted into Rogue, came closer to him flashing a wicked grin and whispered in his ear.

"I should have offered myself to you that way, wouldn't you have liked that, Gambit? Now after what I have in store for you, you'll finally keep your undeserving ass the hell away from my daughter. But that will be our little secret." She laughed again. "Now night night, sleep tight."

I have no idea how much time had elapsed, if any of what I remembered was actually true, and specially I didn't know how or when I got back to my car. When I woke up the sun was high up in the sky. My head ached when I moved, I was feeling nauseated and thirsty as if I hadn't had anything to drink in years. I was definitely not fit to drive so I decided to walk home. You heard me, yes, I found a convenience shop, got myself the biggest bottle of water they had and walked home, trying to recollect the previous night events as I went.

I felt disgusted at myself for the binge drinking and the threesome, not that it was the first time I had one, but because I knew ma vie was going without sex because of me and filthy me was still proving Rogue was right about me all along. It was like going back in time, she was sighing away, missing me, going celibate while I was ravishing some unknown chicks. Walking home gave me time to think it all through. I stopped walking for a second and gasped as sudden realization hit me, she did have a reason to hate me the way she did.

X X X

It all seemed so farfetched; I still hadn't decided if I believed that man or not. Perhaps being nearly killed by some unworldly sentinel made me a little more inclined to accept Bishop's story as true. Still, when he mentioned a traitor among us and Gambit, oddly not being there with us, I feared the worst. I knew if he showed up at any given point that lunatic would accuse him of being the so-called traitor. And worst of all, I knew everyone would fall for it. I know people don't fully trust him. He's kept too much of his life from the rest of the team, not everyone knows what I know about him. I was growing anxious at his unexpected disappearance, but what I hadn't anticipated is that the man was so inconsequent as to fire at Gambit the second he saw him.

I couldn't help myself. I soared into the air as fast as I could and took the hit before harm could come to my Remy. I have Carol Danvers super strength I knew I had better chances of surviving whatever blast Bishop's futuristic weapon shot. He hit me badly, shot me down. As I collapsed to the ground, the last thing I remember was hearing Remy say. "Chére, why would you do that for me? I'm not worth it."

X X X

Some notes from the author :D

The inspiration to this little twist in the story came from the cartoon episode (not the movie, or the comics) Days of Future Past. In the 90s cartoon, Bishop kind of plays the role that in the comics was Kitty's. However, I added quite a bit to it, and also Rogue in the cartoon wasn't in such a bad shape as she was hit by Bishop's gun.

I don't know if you had seen it coming, but as I mentioned President Kelly, I was preparing the grounds for this chapter. Anyways, I hope you have enjoyed this chapter, sorry for taking so long to publish and please, review if you can.


	15. Chapter 15

15

Hell broke loose after the newcomer shot _ma chére_. Everyone started arguing, protesting against the guy's poor decision to shoot me down before asking any questions. I couldn't possibly care less. I didn't mind if he was going to pull the trigger again and kill me, I had to help her. I crouched down the floor and reached for her. Breathing in slowly, I inhaled deeply taking in her scent, it worked like a balsam to me. I was not feeling well at all, having the worst hangover ever, but the sight of her, witnessing her noble act towards me, it renewed my strength and restored my energy. Not to mention that it was the closest I'd been to her in almost two months.

She really cares for me, no matter how mad I've made her feel in this life, no matter how much she's hated me, bottom line is that she still loves me, there's no denying that. I took her in my arms as gently as I possibly could, even though I was a bit shaky myself and my coordination was not at its best after the previous night heavy alcohol abuse and God knows if they slipped some drug in my drinks. Having her in my arms, I felt the warmth of her body and suddenly all chaos in the background faded, it was only her and me. At that moment, I treasured every heartbeat of mine, every heartbeat close to hers.

Her white flesh so close to my lips. It made me want to kiss her arched neck which was so close to my lips as I pulled her body closer to mine. I cradled her in my arms and stared down at her, searching for any signs that she was well. I could feel her chest moving as she breathed shallowly, but I wanted to see her back to herself, being herself the way only she knows how to be, drawing me in and kicking me out all at once. I wanted her to regain consciousness. Just then, to my utter relief, she finally opened her eyes, smiled weakly and murmured. "I'm all right, Remy. You can put me down now."

"We gotta get you checked, chére. We don't know what kind of gun that lunatic fil de pute fired at you. What is he talking about anyway?" I tried to make eye contact with Beast, we needed to take her to the infirmary. My eyes went frantically from her face to Beast's. I called out for him. He was making his way towards us when her words came out and for the first time since I'd joined my fellow X-Men that, I felt caught off guard.

"Remy, why weren't you here?" She paused, struggling a bit to breath, she took a gulp of air before delivering the final blow. Her emerald green eyes sparkled fiercely, her eyes welled up with tears. "We needed you! Where have you been?"

How was I supposed to tell her all that happened and especially why it had happened. I imagine she wouldn't be too thrilled to hear I spied on her, heard her telling Storm her most private feelings towards me and to make matters worse, what I've done with such knowledge? Oh yes, having a threesome with two complete strangers to deal with it must seem like a perfectly acceptable thing to do. My alibi is possibly the worst in history. But at the same time, I didn't want to lie to her. Not anymore. From what I gathered, she hated me more for lying to her than for the casual sex I had with other women back when we were a couple. Putting an end to my moral dilemma, Beast approached us.

"How is she?" He asked hurriedly. "Is she fully conscious? Is she making any sense at all?"

Before I could answer, she spoke angrily. "Of course I am. This swamp rat here won't tell me where he's been. Put me down, Remy. Now!"

Beast sighed, he was worried, it was perceptible in the way he looked at us. I shifted her body and allowed her feet to touch the ground. But to my despair, she didn't manage to stand up. Once again, I enveloped her body with my arms and cradled her in them as if she were a baby.

"Gambit, let's take her to the infirmary and get her checked up, shall we?" He said. He had his eyebrows furrowed and his forehead creased with worry.

"That's exactly what I was thinking, Hank." I replied as I whisked her away. Beast followed me. Once we were there, I placed her on a bed. She tried to sit up straight, but couldn't.

"What's going on? I feel well, why can't I… why can't I…" She trailed off.

"Calm down, Anna. You took a full blast of a cutting edge weapon we have never seen. I'm glad to see that you're alive, my friend. We don't know what effect that will have on you. You hold superhuman strength right now, if Remy had taken the shot, I fear he wouldn't have lived to tell the tale."

She gave up trying to sit up and just let herself lie back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling abstractly, then she let her head fall to the right and stared at me intensely. Her looking at me so silently sent cold shivers up and down my spine, at the same I felt like my stomach was twitching inside me. She clearly knows how to punish me with her silence when she wants to. Or does she want that? I can't tell. I only know that her eyes pierced my soul. I'm half agony, half hope.

"Remy, you can go now. I'll take care of her. Run some tests." Beast spoke matter-of-factly.

"No, Hank. I'm staying." I said decidedly. "Please, don't send me away. She's in such shape because of me, I should be the one hurting. I need to be here for her." His eyes met mine for a second and he nodded.

"That's all right with me. Anna, do you want Remy to stay here with you?"

"Yes." She replied bluntly. Her eyes were distant; her mind seemed to be elsewhere. Hank nodded and walked over to the other side of the room, busying himself preparing some medicine that would bring some relief to my chére. As soon as he left us, she spoke without looking into my eyes.

"Where have you been, Remy?" Her beautiful green eyes then focused on me once again.

"Chére, I…" I stuttered a bit. "I don't want to lie to you, but I guess what I've been up to… it would offend you, hurt you if you knew and I don't want…"

She interrupted me with a hint of irritation in her voice. "Does it involve women? If it does, you guessed it right, I don't wanna know, sugar."

We both fell silent for a second then I confessed. "It does, and booze, lots of it." I couldn't help but look away in embarrassment. Despite my inner wish to do so, I couldn't bring myself to shower her with lies.

"I don't care, no, I'm lying, I do. Of course I do care, but taking recent events into consideration, as long as it doesn't involve any plot to assassinate the president, it's fine."

"What? Come again! Kill the president? Is that what the guy thinks?" I shook my head and laughed, she frowned at my reaction. "_Ma belle_, if anything, I'm going to prevent that from happening, aren't I? We'll have a mission tomorrow, at the gala fundraiser, the Professor assigned the leadership of that mission to me. What the hell are you talking about, chére?"

"Bishop… he told us there's a traitor… among us, the X-Men. And we are going to ruin everything for all of us mutants." She spoke nervously, stuttering a bit as she did so. I held her shoulders gently but assertively, and looked her into her eyes.

"Calm down. I'm not following you. Bishop? That idiot who shot you down? What is that guy all about? And you take his word as true? Who is he anyway?"

Then she proceeded to explain it all to me, between sobs and tears how that guy had seemingly come from the future and how he believed that I killed President Kelly and changed the course of history with that act. I have no intention whatsoever of killing the President, instead I want him to keep his newly-made promise and do something for us mutants. I reassured her I was not going to kill Kelly, the thought had never ever crossed my mind. Ok, maybe it did when he was such a bastard with his anti-mutant speech and propaganda.

"Sugar, we have seen all of us dead in Bishop's future. All of us, and not long after the point in time where we are now. If this assassination takes place, we'll be chased and hunted down before we know it." I tried to interrupt her, but she went on. She struggled a bit and managed to sit up in bed. "I know we are always running that risk, but seeing it through cerebro, through that guy's memories, well, it brought reality home to me. I let myself drown in these love games of ours, but you know what, none of that matters. We are all going to die young anyway."

"Calm down, chére! I don't know if I believe that guy, but we are going to stop this assassination attempt, if there's really going to be one, anyway. I promise you. That's why I was putting up a team for already." I pulled her chest close to mine and tucked her head under my chin. She didn't oppose or fight against it. "Do you believe me, chére? You know I'd never betray the X-Men, don't you? I can take everyone's suspicion but yours." I admitted.

"I do believe you, sugar. I'm just freaked out at those man's memories. We were all dead in them. All dead! I thought there was going to be so much more…" She trailed off and pulled away from me and looked up, catching my eye, she blushed deeply and cast her gaze on the ground for a second. She then straightened up and stared deep into my eyes. It still baffles me when she does that. Then, her lips parted "I just want to tell you that… I love you, Remy, I still do. If we are going to hell anyway, we might as well not lose the little time we might still have." And with that, she kissed me. At first, I must have jumped at her move. I was not expecting that, I do not deserve that. I don't deserve to be loved by her, or maybe I do. After all, somehow I've managed to stick around all this time. She was right, maybe we didn't have time for our philosophies and moral conflicts, so I just kissed her back. She threw one arm around my neck and had one hand tangled in my hair. I kissed her as if it was our first kiss and last kiss combined, kissed her with passion, like she was my only hope for life, like she was the cure to some deadly disease that consumed me whole. Well, that's exactly what she is, isn't she? Life without her has proved itself useless and empty. She's in fact the antidote to the agony and pain I live in. We were kissing for seemingly hours, the taste of her lips is so divine. I felt my heart melt as she let out a soft moan into my mouth. Suddenly, I remembered what I'd been up to the night before, and my mind set was back in place. When our lips eventually parted, I wouldn't tell her I loved her back. I can't let her know that I love her and always will. She deserves a better man, a man I can't bring myself to be, no matter how hard I try. My body had his own ideas though, our kiss grew hungrier by the second. My body wants hers. It always does.

Then, to my surprise, she broke off our kiss abruptly. Her eyes met mine for a second, then her body collapsed against my chest and I could feel her limbs going numb against me.

"McCoy! McCoy! Help us out here, mon ami." I urged our blue furred friend. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. In a blink of an eye, he was by her side. Laying her down carefully, he threw a worried glance at me. "She has to rest to fully recover." He offered as to comfort me, then proceeded to inject something into her vein. It made me flinch.

"Perhaps you should go now, Remy. She's going to be sleeping for quite a while now."

"I want to stay. I'll be here, I'll guard her while she sleeps." At his worried frown, I added. " Please, Hank, let me stay. _Elle est ma vie_, it pains me to be away from her. At least now I can be here and she won't know. She took this goddamn shot for me, now I have to be here for her."

"You look like you need some rest yourself, Remy." But my pleading eyes didn't let him press the matter any further. "OK, you can stay, if you promise not to agitate her again."

And so I did. I kept my promise. I spent the night between watching her sleep adoringly, snoozing now and then and thinking the recent facts over.

I fretted over doing it for a while. Even though the professor had a point in asking me to do so, I still felt uneasy. I knew Professor Charles was busy with Bishop, his memories and his confusion. Settling that big man down had proven to be no easy task, I knew all that. Adding to that, he believed Scott would only come back if I told him to do so. But still, I wish I didn't have that task I had in my hands.

I knew Logan wasn't thrilled about it either. I know no matter how many times I reassured him of my feelings, that I had no intention of ever going back to Scott, he would always be a little insecure. I know he feels I'm way out of his league. What he fails to see is that he's the best one for me. All Mr. Pretty Face did was to unleash the bully in me, the self-righteous bitch I never imagined I could be. Sighing deep and slow as I went, preparing myself to use Cerebro one more time. I never thought I'd be using it to track him. He was always here for the X-Men. A feeling of hate spread through my veins. I hate him and what he did to us, then I hated her and what she did. And then, I thought of Logan and the feeling dissipated like magic. Concentrating on the task that lies ahead of me, I close my eyes. And I find him. In a split second.

"Scott!"

"Jean!? Is that you? Inside my mind?"

"Scott, where's all the surprise coming from? Yes, it's me!"

"I just don't think you'd want anything to do with me…"

"I don't. But you need to come back. The X-Men, we need you. We need Cyclops."

"OK, I'm coming back as soon as I possibly can."

"That won't be soon enough."

"What happened? Are you OK?"

"We all are. For now. Hurry! "

I logged out of his mind. I knew what was coming next. He wanted to know about me and Logan, and that is none of his business. OK, I confess I'll be uncomfortable if the three of us are in the same room, but there are matters requiring our immediate attention that are much more important than our little drama.

….

I woke up feeling envigorated as if nothing had happened. I sat up in bed and looked around trying to take in my surroundings. It all came back to me, being shot, taken to the infirmary, Beast looking after me and him, well, him being here for me, listening to my worries and oh yes, I remembered the kiss. At that memory, I sighed without even noticing.

He was still there, sleeping on a chair. His feet were up on a stool, his head settled against the back of the chair, it didn't look too comfortable. His hair was shaggier than it usually is and it framed his closed eyelids gracefully. I leapt to my feet, came closer him and bent down, resting my hands on my knees as I took a closer look at the man I love. My heavy stare must have woken him up in some mysterious way. His eyelids fluttered as his eyes tried to focus on me.

"Morning, gorgeous." I said with a warm smile.

"Chére, you're all better!" He flashed a smile back at me.

"All it took was a beauty sleep." I blinked at him. He still had a silly smile splashed all over his face, making him look like a fool in love. Perhaps he is indeed in love with me. Why didn't he say so last night? Thinking of that made me remember that he confessed he'd been with another woman the night before. I have no idea why I have false hopes. Of course he'd been with someone else that night and the night before that, and the night before that. You get the picture. I must have frown at those thoughts, as he made me snap out of it.

"What? What is it, chére? What is it that troubles you? Are you feeling OK?" Then he took my hand in his and kissed it back tenderly, his eyes firmly fixed on mine. Oh his charming ways! He must do his charm thing to all women he lays eyes on. I couldn't help it but roll my eyes at him.

"Hey, what? What did I do now?"

"Nothing, Cajun. It's not worth debating any of my silly feelings right now. We have more pressing matters to get to right now. We gotta prove you innocent and stop whatever is going to happen. That is, if anything at all is indeed going to happen. And I just got an excellent idea. Let's go, we have to join the rest of the team."

He looked puzzled but didn't hesitate to follow me out of the infirmary. I could feel his heave stare piercing through me as he walked briskly through the corridors. I looked over my shoulder and right he was checking out my ass. My Remy is unbelievable!

"Gambit!" I reprimanded him.

"What!? Definitely not my day today!"

"Focus!"

We entered the meeting room and just as I thought they were all gathered there.


	16. Chapter 16

My fellow team members were still at loss as to what to do. One thing we had agreed on though. Gambit couldn't possibly the team leader on that mission. Too much was at stake. So, the professor decided it was high time Cyclops returned, not to Wolverine's liking. According to Xavier, giving him a mission to lead would supply him with the reason and motivation he needed to regain focus and rejoin the X-Men, something which Xavier had perhaps not so secretly been hoping for.

Our meeting was interrupted by Rogue, making quite an entrance as she slammed the door open, not sure if she meant it or was too overwhelmed and distracted to dose her strength properly. Gambit followed her into the room. He carefully examined each one of us around the meeting table. His stern expression slowly softened as he read the friendly absolving faces looking back at him.

"I've got an idea." She announced overenthusiastically, looking all around her, trying to catch a glimpse of each one of us. She spoke eloquently, "I'll prove him innocent so we can put this nonsense behind us. And maybe we can go and try to send this mad man to his own time."

As soon as those words left her, she turned on her heels and faced Gambit who smiled rather innocently at her. I fail to believe he was caught by surprise, all of us present, perhaps except Bishop, knew exactly what she was going to do. He watched her intensely when she grabbed her former lover by the collar of his trench coat, he flashed her an approving smile to which she responded by closing her eyes slowly, took a deep yet brief breath and kissed him full in his mouth. It was not long until our red-eyed team mate fell unconscious on the floor.

I had seen her absorb people many times before, every time she' d be confused and overwhelmed by it all, but this time, she looked particularly disconcerted. Realizing her state of bewilderment, I approached her and threw my arms protectively around her shoulders as to comfort her and calm her down. Wolverine and Jean were helping Gambit out.

"I can't believe it! That swamprat! I'll kill him! I'll kill him myself." She shouted in the midst of her confusion.

"So it's him, isn't it? He's the traitor!" Bishop called.

"What is it, Roguey? What did he do?" Wolverine asked.

"This bastard!" she went on.

"For God's sake, sister, just spit it out." Storm demanded. Xavier looked away and shook his head. Then she delivered the news, to everyone's utter surprise. "He fucked my mother!"

XXX

I hate him and hate myself for falling for such a man. I always knew he was trouble, but never in my wildest dreams I'd imagine anything close to that.

There was no plot to assassinate anyone. I was totally positive there wouldn't be one. I trusted him, I knew he was innocent. Such a terrible idea! I didn't think it through, acted on impulse and paid the price.

Hot tears streamed down my face before I knew it and I stormed out of the room and flew as fast I could to the comfort and silence of my own room.

I knew he didn't know it was her. How could he have been so naïve? Him of all people! How could he have been such an idiot!? Hearing my confessions to Storm, prying into my most private feelings… I hate him! But then, again, this curse of love I feel for him. All he has to do is pull me closer to him, when I smell his unique scent, his smell that appeals to me in an inexplicable way, I'm so helplessly attracted to him, so vulnerable. My heart was strangely filled with love for him, it was not me, it was his feelings emerging, not feelings, memories, impressions. He thought he loved me. It was all a façade! He wanted to protect me from him, or so he believed. He wanted to protect himself from going through all the heartbreak all over again. It hadn't done any good though. Sorrow and pain would always find us.

Suddenly I remembered him and… her. Disgusting! I was sobbing uncontrollably when I heard someone knocking on the door. Having completely lost track of time, absorbed as I was in those thoughts, I opened the door and to my surprise it was Scott.

"Cyclops! How? What…" He interrupted me by pressing one finger against my lips. "Shh…" I threw myself into his arms because I simply knew no better and I so desperately needed someone to comfort me. "Have you heard?" I asked with a whisper.

"I wish I didn't but yes, I 've heard." He told me as he pulled himself gently out of our embrace.

"Sorry, I…" I apologized awkwardly. He calmly told me we'd be leaving in half an hour and yes, he was doing better already and he was going to join us in the mission. It was surprisingly weird how Scott and I seemed to be back to old days, it was as if nothing had happened between us, except it had. I felt like he was a special friend to me and the way he looked at me, it seems my feelings were reciprocated. There was no more sparkle and fire in his eyes when we looked at each other in silence. We chatted for a little while, I asked him about how it was for him, seeing Jean and Wolvie together.

"Well, I'm not thrilled at that, but hey, it's not like she's banging my father or something like that." He blinked at me. I rolled my eyes at that. As he made his way out, he added. "Don't forget it's a gala, wear your best dress. We have to mingle as we keep watch."

XXX

We had arrived and she hadn't even looked me all the while. She looked stunning which only added to my agony. Her being so close, but forever so far.

Once inside, she was positioned as Scott suggested, by a pillar. She watched intently, purposefully. She kept guard and me being me, the scumbag that I am, I couldn't help myself but approach her. I needed to tell her why it happened. I let it all go too far. I don't want her to hurt and I'm sure she's hurting.

"Hey, chére. How´s the watch?" She looked at me for a split of a second and scowled at me defiantly.

"What do you want, Gambit?" she spoke without looking at me. She stepped back as to widen the distance between us.

"You look great,_ petite_. Breath-taking!"

"And you came here to tell me that?"

"I came here to apologize. And also, you told me how you felt about me back in the infirmary and I didn't say anything. I wanted to let you know that I also… I…" I stuttered. I tried to hide it away ever since I broke up with her that now it's hard for me to just say the words.

"You love me?" She spoke coldly. "I found out about that when I absorbed you. I discovered about other disturbing facts too."

"Anna, I.. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was her. I have this idiotic way of dealing with problems, I try to charm women so that I feel a little worthy." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, only to open her eyes a second later and have them locked into mine. She was frowning at me.

"What will it take for you to just leave the hell alone, Gambit? Do I have to remind you we are on a mission?"

"To be honest, a little kiss could do the trick, perhaps refresh my memory, chére." I said with a grin, taking all my chances. She sighed heavily.

"You are unbelievable, Cajun. You've got some nerve!"

"And that's exactly why you love me."

"Have you gone mental? You broke up with me, you've been avoiding me for months now and now this? Why, Gambit? Why torture me this much?"

"Because I love you. It was all because of you."

"So you fucked my mother because you love me? Well, sugar, that makes no sense at all. You are a despicable human being!" She pushed me hard, and was about to walk away from me when I threw my arms around her waist in a swift move, bringing her body close to mine. Our lips were one inch away from one another. "Tell me you don't want me to kiss you and I won't. Tell me your heart rate hasn't increased and that you don't feel like your heart is about to pump right of your chest. Your breathing got heavy, this I can tell."

She frowned and was probably about to tell me to fuck the hell off when we heard a big commotion coming from the stage. That kiss would have to wait.

….

XXX

On principle, I despise all politicians. Decisions should be made by the most powerful and passionate – not the most popular. But I especially despise President Kelly. Even if I adored him, it wouldn't change my decision. He must die.

Did you know that as Governor he denied funds to special mutant schools? As Senator, he supported Genosha's mutant slave policy. The things he'll do as President are even worse. Every one of Renie's predictions has come to fruition: he funded the Sentinel program, sent mutant convicts to Genosha, and exposed Xavier's school as a hotbed of renegade warriors, putting my daughter on every radical bigot's list. Eventually, every child will be tested in utero for the mutant gene. Parents will be "encouraged" to terminate a severe mutant fetus. Mutant adults will be required to register as such and their re-production rights will be first limited and then terminated.

Genocide. Slow and simple.

I tried to be delicate. Years ago, I attempted to block his power. Then I attempted to infiltrate his network. I was defeated at every goal, so now we're down to this: an assassination conspiracy. I tried my daughter's diplomatic ways and failed. Now it's my way.

My team: Pyro, Avalanche, and the Blob provided the distraction. They managed to gain access to the stage when the presenter was about to step up which attracted the X-Men and sent President Kelly into protective custody.

I know Xavier's cronies like an old, worn-out shoe. For all their discipline and power, they aren't much smarter than beasts of burden. My boys held their own, even out-numbered. They also created less collateral damage. Xavier's brats cracked the Lincoln Memorial Reflection Pool by freezing it solid and blew off a roof. Later, they would claim to be heroes for saving everyone inside. A real hero would've aimed lower!

Meanwhile, I'd infiltrated Secret Service and moved with Kelly to a secure bunker beneath the building. There was so much activity that no one noticed when Matthew Aston grew two inches of hair and his brown eyes turned red-on-black. Using Gambit's hypnotic influence, the presidential body guards were easily persuaded to chase down phantom sounds.

"Let's move deeper!" I suggested.

As a herd, we moved down a tunnel to a more secure bunker. When the door came into sight, I kicked President Kelly forward. He and the guard in front fell into the room. Gunfire rained in discriminately, but being a shape-shifter means rapid healing and the ability to liquefy. I spilled into the bunker, pulling the door shut, but I made sure they saw Gambit's eyes.

Once the door sealed, I heard rounds hitting like raindrops. I wasn't worried; it was designed to withstand much more damage.

'Gambit' threw charged cards at the other bodyguard. The ensuing explosion left him unconscious.

"A mutant," said Kelly.

"Dat's right, mon ami," I withdrew and charged more cards. Yes, I had littered the place with evidence. I could've used any face or none at all. Gambit wasn't the most powerful mutant to assume, but he was the one I wanted to suffer. He'd stolen my sweet girl's innocence. Like a cancer, he'd grown into her bones, draining her strength and killing her soul. She hadn't the will to resist him and Xavier hadn't the desire to intervene. I was her last hope.

"You'll never make it out of here alive," Kelly told me.

"Neither will you."

The ground shook. Off-balance, I dropped the cards and debris kicked us both. I jumped back to avoid the worst shards, and when I did, the roof crumbled and Rogue flew in. She wasn't alone; the cancer was with her.

"Surprised to see me?" asked Gambit. "I know I am."

Kelly looked perplexed between the two of us.

I was surprised myself. The orange juice I gave him last night held enough tranquilizers to make him comatose. However, I kept my face cool.

"He's a shape-shifter, President Kelly," Rogue explained, pointing at me. "We came tah stop him."

"I was kidnapped by a mutant," he said, slowly standing. "And… rescued by a mutant."

Rogue grabbed my arm. "Gambit, help President Kelly out. Ah've got old two-face here."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said. "You're going to help me escape."

"And why would Ah do that?"

I shifted into an unassuming middle-aged woman with shoulder length blond hair.

"Momma?" Rogue gasped.

"That's what I told you to call me after I took you in. Gave you a life. And now you want to see me shot to pieces? Is that anyway to treat your mother? Or will you help me like I helped you?"

Her face crumbled. "Why'd ya do it?"

"Honey, I don't expect you to understand. I've seen your potential and want you to reach it. But as long as men like that live, you'll never be the person you were meant to be! I love you, Rogue. And I'm sorry I had to hurt you… I don't expect your forgiveness… You're naïve enough to think the most powerful man in the world is governed by his conscious. And now that I know what a good lay Gambit is, I know why you keep going back."

I considered morphing into the woman he'd spent the night with, but that would've been twisting the knife in her back.

Being the dutiful daughter and hero, she silently flew me out of the capital.

….

(Sorry everyone about the long wait. I've got two teaching jobs now. So you get the picture. This chapter we've got the lovely contribution of kataract52. She did the Mystique point of view. It was great to read it as reader. I found it specially cool when she, the "mother-in-law" called Gambit a cancer, the analogy was great. I hope you like it.


	17. Chapter 17

17

"So, Gumbo, do you think she's flipped to the dark side again?" Wolverine's words kept ringing inside my head. Did I think so? I seriously doubt it. And even if she did make new alliances, did I care? Would it change anything? Would I not love her any longer? Would that stop me wanting her? Hell no! Those questions were easy to answer.

At the time he said that though, I felt disconcerted, downed yet another beer and teased him back.

"So, Wolvie, do you think Jean will realise what a mistake it was to let four-eyes slip away, now that he's back, looking like his old self, determined and focused? Maybe all his good boy impersonation is on show to win her back…" I trailed off. And

"Fuck you, Gambit!" He said. I could see I got the best of him, as his claws showed up, they came out out of instinct.

"You're welcome. In fact, while we're here, who says they are not having a quickie for the old time's sake?"

"She wouldn't! Besides, I guess he wouldn't either. He's always proclaimed his ethics and stuff. I don't think he'd do that."

"Bullshit, he fucked my Rogue countless times while he was married to your girl, so… I don't want to plant things on your head, but… just trying to be your friend here, mon ami."

"Goddamn it, Gambit. You've got a point and I'm going back to the mansion right now. If the four-eyed is anywhere near Jean, I swear I'll slice his pretty face in two."

And with that he left me alone where I remained alone with my thoughts. I had two more pints and wondered away about ma chére's recent fate. Why wouldn't she answer my calls, texts, e-mails, smoke signals, for crying out loud!? I always thought she knew I'd never judge her for her choices. Moreover, it doesn't make any sense that she would have re-joined the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. If I were in her shoes, I'd want to do nothing with my father if he'd tricked a girl he knew I loved to go to bed with him. That's what she did! That evil bitch!

But, obviously, she's not the only one to be blamed. Had I not been this weak, had I not resorted to sex and alcohol every time my heart breaks or to be truthful, any pain inflicts me, really, I wouldn't be in this situation. I wouldn't even have lost my chére to start with. It was all me. If only I had known how to control myself, to be with her when she couldn't touch me… I was so happy back then. We had it all, except the sex. I loved her immensely and she, she loved me dearly. Being with her, even though we didn't touch was the definition of joy. I guess I could say those were the best days of my life. She was my sweet beautiful girl with a heart made of gold. And what did I do? I took her pure golden heart in my bare hands and crashed it to dust. End of story, no excuses, I'm an asshole.

I have now realized how wrong I was, how I've always been untrue to her and that's why she wanted to show me exactly how it feels like to be stabbed on your back when she started screwing Scott. She wanted me to see it through her eyes, what it feels like to see the one you love fooling around with someone else. It hurts! Countless nights have I spent in agony, my mind insistently torturing me by picturing her undressing for another man. I felt useless and battered. Having lost all my pride, I still had to be with her even though I knew she was having pleasure with someone else. Someone else was having the privilege of seeing her amazingly beautiful bare body, touching her intimately as only I had done before. I wondered if she moaned low in his ear the same way she did when I was having her. Did she cry out his name when he came inside her? It broke my heart, but I shared her with him regardless because I just couldn't have any of her anymore. I was addicted to sex with her, to the point that for the first time in my life, I didn't want to look elsewhere for sex.

And when we came clean about it all, I blamed her. I pushed her away! Acted like the victim, when only know I realized I was the only one to blame. Knowing that she loved me, that she did it as a payback, out of love, hate and despair, and I… I still felt entitled to break away from her. Come to think about it, Rogue has always been right. I'm the villain in this story. Mystique was just an accomplice.

My heart is in shreds and I want to drown myself in sorrow. Sighing deeply, I down yet another glass. Unwelcome tears roll down my face. Yes, I have finally realized, I'm the only one to blame.

XXX

…

"How could you do this to me?" After a day of cold treatment, the first sounds coming from her lips were these words which stormed out of her mouth loudly and angrily.

As soon as we got to London, we went to my luxurious house in South Kensington. A magnificent end of terrace, white stucco fronted house spread over 6 floors with a passenger lift. Yes, life couldn't get any better. The European heads of state were treating me right, they gave me all support needed to exit US territory and enter the UK.

I had been highly financed to assassinate the US president. They saw what the X-fools couldn't see, Kelly's new pro-mutant policies are the path to disaster. Now those idiots stopped me and I fear losing all the privileges kindly offered to me. I am the one who should've asked her how she could have done that to me when I went into the room she was staying in. I wanted to reach out and try to make amends with her, but instead I was greeted with disrespect and ungratefulness.

Her pretty face was tear-stained, her hair dishevelled and the bed sheets were unmade. My dear daughter must have been drifting into and out of sleep nonstop. I remember how she used to deal with heartbreak and deception. Can't she see that I'm not the one causing yet another deception? It's him. It's all him. The most dreadful cancer he was.

" How could you fuck him to get back at me?" Apparently she was not done and we were in for a whole day of quarrelling.

"To get back at you? Is that what you think, Anna? Seriously?" I spoke calmly. Almost a whisper in response to her angry shouting.

"Why else would you pick him? Why else would you disguise and go after him, if not to hurt me?"

"Anna Marie, you're an intelligent girl. I don't believe you'd make such assumptions. I was not trying to hurt you, I was trying to protect you!" She crossed her arms over her chest and snorted at my words. "First, someone had to look suspicious to Bishop's eyes, all I did was making sure that he was not there when Bishop made his entrance so that he would look like someone who was up to something. And secondly, yes, I could have picked anyone, but as I said before, I picked him to protect you." At that moment I remembered how he talked about her on that fateful night, how he rambled on and on about how insanely beautiful she was, how much he felt he loved her and how she made his heart sing whenever he heard her laughing wholeheartedly at him or even scolding him. Of course I wouldn't be sharing those words of his, not to mention how he remembered to wear a condom even though he was totally plastered. Perhaps, he wasn't all bad, but my girl deserves the very best. And a guy who can keep it in his pants is undeserving of her to say the least.

"Oh really, and how does that work?" She spoke with an angry tone, a frown that would make her usually friendly face almost unrecognizable.

"Well, now that the prick has fucked even your own mother, I guess that will be the end to all this nonsense for once and for all. You can't go back to him after that, so you won't get hurt and heartbroken ever again. He's tainted to you and you're finally free." I pointed out the obvious, tried to take her hands in mine, but she shook them away.

"Sorry, mama." She said sarcastically. "It didn't work. He's my person. I still love him. Probably will always do." She spoke, her eyes swimming in tears about to fall. I cannot believe it! What will it take? I should've killed that bastard when I had the chance. She wouldn't have known it had been me. I felt like kicking myself for my mistake.

"Anna, please, how can you? After all the things he did to you? Here's a dick and that's all he thinks with. Unfortunately for you, dear, you're not the center of this guy's universe. His penis is, and every woman is just another planet to orbit around it. Anna, darling, there are more things to love than a good fuck, you know?" Yes, he is good. His body and his charm, divine. He has the moves and a magnetic dirty look in his eyes, and it all seems effortless. He just does it. I can only imagine what he is like when he's not drunk and when he claims to love the girl he's doing. But still, she has to be able to see past that. He cannot be trusted with her happiness, no way, he can't. I guess I see her the way she can't see herself. She fails to see what she's worth. This kind loyal person, beautiful in an enchanting way, strong and powerful, she's so out of his league. Doesn't she realize that?

"What do you know about love? What could you possibly know? You've probably never loved anyone in your life rather than yourself." She said in a faint attempt to attack me.

"Anna, I love you, dear."

"If you did love me, you'd never ever in a million years fuck my man."

"He's not yours, don't you see? He's never been. I can't believe you're this naïve. It's unbelievable that you think it's all on me. Are you defending his behaviour? Because baby if you are, you're such a fool that maybe you deserve that unfaithful jerk of a man. Don't be stupid, Anna."

"I never said I'm going to be back together, but I know my heart will always be his." She lowered her head and shed silent tears. There. She lost her attitude. My words finally hit her. She fell silent, seemingly in shock as realization washed through her.

"Now get out, would you? I want to be alone." She spoke softly, turning her back to me and hugging herself. Oh my sweet little girl, I wish I could have spared you from all this agony and pain. I absolutely loathe Charles for not protecting you from that. He omitted himself and he's going to pay, for he's losing one of his strongest team members.

"Anna, you have to eat. You can't starve to death because of, well, you know, him." I demanded.

"I know, when it's time for lunch, you can call me and I'll join you. Just let me be for a while." She spoke, still with her back to me. She seemed to be staring out the window now.

"OK, dear." I said with a reassuring tone in my voice. I have to play it cool now. Finding a way of bringing her to me again will be one hell of a hard task, but I'm determined to get her back to me, to us, to my little family: The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants.

X X X

…

The evil queen I have for an adoptive mother finally let me be after savouring her triumph. She said she fucked my Remy to protect me from him. Bitch! But truth is, she said some things about him which are probably true. But it's just so hard to listen, to acknowledge. He probably just wasn't built for monogamy. However, for what I've shown him so far, I wasn't either.

Just as I'm analysing our pros and cons, the phone rings. It's him. Yet again. He's been calling insistently ever since I boarded that plane and flew her here. What the hell! I might as well pick up the damn phone.

"Hello? Anna? Are you safe? Are you OK? Say something, chére." I listened to his edgy voice, panic stricken as it was, I breathed in the speaker, but couldn't bring myself to say anything.

"Anna Marie, are you there? For God's sake, ma vie, talk to me." He pleaded.

"What is it, Gambit? You called me. You say whatever it is you so desperately have to say."

"I'm sorry, chére. I'm so sorry! For everything! I don't expect you to forgive me but I just needed to let you know. I've realized all the harm I've caused you. I'm terribly sorry, chére." I remained in silence. He gave up waiting for me to say something back and went on. "Where are you? Are you alright? Won't you come back to me, I mean, to us?"

"I'm in London. The professor knows I'm here. Yes, I'm OK, physically well at least. And no, I don't know when I'm coming back."

"The professor knows? Why didn't he tell me anything?" He asked eagerly.

"I asked him not to. I don't know what I'll do now, to be completely honest with you. My adoptive mother, you know, the one you were sticking into just the other day, me and her, we have things to settle before I go." Ouch. That must have hurt. Now it was his turn to fall silent.

Knock. Knock. "Come in." I said. "I have to go now, Gambit." Not calling him by his first name, I hang up the phone without waiting for him to say goodbye.

I had done all my crying and was ready to leave that room and most importantly, ready to face her without tears and accusations. However, to my surprise, a male voice answered me.

"Rogue, er… it's me. Avalanche." He spoke awkwardly.

"Oh hi, Avalanche. Long time no see, huh? What are you doing here? She said she was calling me for lunch."

"Yes, she sent me to call you." He spoke in a thin shy voice but his eyes were unashamedly checking me out.

I let him lead me to her dining-room. Her house is enormous and sure as hell I couldn't get there by myself, we got into the elevator to get there. Her house has a lift for crying out loud. In London! One of the most expensive cities for properties in the world! Where is all that money coming from? She's up to no good, as she's always been. No surprise there though.

Suddenly, my stream of thoughts is cut short by her lapdog deliberately stopping the elevator and walking purposefully towards me, cornering me to one side of the little space we were occupying.

"Avalanche! What the hell are you trying to do here! You know I can have your face smashed or just suck you powerless and leave in a coma, but I'm giving the right to explain yourself."

"I guess I wouldn't mind the second option as long as it involved a kiss." He chuckled, then because I still didn't smile, he went on. "Sorry, Rogue. I was giving you the eye all the while and I thought you had bought that. You were staring back at me."

"Was I? Sorry, I was probably staring blankly at you. I was thinking of something else." I was desperately trying to widen the gap between us, but he just wouldn't step back. He's so not my type. I sighed heavily at that thought.

"Thinking of something else or someone else? Anna, me and you, I could help you forget him, you know?" And with those words, he touched my hair in a lovingly way which made me flinch. Yuk!

"Did she put you to this? Oh, of course she did. Avalanche, how pathetic! Why do you do everything she commands you to? I…I… oh, never mind." I said, only to be ignored by him as he went on, staring at me with dreamy eyes.

"Rogue, if there was ever one thing she told me to do that I wouldn't mind at all, this would be it. You would be it. I had a crush on you, all those years ago before you joined them, before you turn your back on us. Now wouldn't it be nice us together? It would be one big family reunion. Us, your mother, our friends…" Our friends? He must be delusional. I've never had any friends within the brotherhood. "It'd be like a dream come true." He added.

"It sounds more like a nightmare to me." I couldn't help saying. The words had left me before I could stop myself from offending him. He frowned at me and pouted a little. Did he seriously entertain the idea that I was going to give him a go. Oh well, my reputation must not be the best around these days. I sighed lightly and gently pushed him away with both my hands placed over his chest. Thankfully, he finally got the cue and stepped back. The elevator was back into motion and in a second we were in her company again. I caught her eye and rolled my eyes at her. She got my message, obviously. What the hell was she thinking when she sent him to try to seduce me. Seduce me!? It's hilarious even. Oh gosh, I guess I shall never be impressed by any man ever again.

X X X

…

Scott walked into my room. I knew why he wouldn't address the issue in front of the others. He was no longer madly in love with her, but asking about her in public would lead his fellow team members to believe he was still vulnerably infatuated with her.

"So, Professor, you probably know what I'm here for. I want to know where Rogue stands right now. Is she ever coming back to the team? Can I count her in for the next mission? I've heard you have been in contact with her. Is she with the Brotherhood!?"

"Well, she was trying to come to terms with Mystique's recent actions. But I guess she gave up hope. She told me she needed some time."

"So where is she now, then?"

"She's backpacking in Europe. Actually, she's in a lovely city called Ghent now, in Belgium. We were in touch just today, you see."

"Great! How lovely her! How terrible for me, losing one of our most important members is not much to my liking." He sneered in frustration.

"You'd better get used to that, Scott. I have no idea as to when or if she's coming back, frankly. She hurts, because of him. So if she can avoid the source of the pain, then why wouldn't she? It's totally understandable, wouldn't you agree? You yourself have been there, and dealt with it in a similar way."

He sighed heavily, I know for a fact that he doesn't like to be reminded of that. I'm sorry for him but there's simply nothing I can do about that.

X X X

…

"He doesn't know when she's coming back, you said?"

"Yes, Gambit, that's what he said. I know I'm in debt with you for you helped me out even after our fallout and all I'd done to you, you know, me and Rogue. But this is the last time I ask him about Rogue. Next time, you do it yourself."

"OK, Cyclops. Thanks for having kept me informed." I said. I guess I'm all on my own now. I'll devote myself to training harder than ever before. I gotta find a way to get my mind off her. So I guess this time, no women and alcohol. I've learned my lesson, it'll be work instead. I'll be the best there is, I'll be the fucking leader of this team. Scott doesn't know but he's just found competition.


	18. Chapter 18

18

I honestly wanted to reconcile. Crazy and farfetched as it might seem, despite all she's done to me, I didn't want to keep any bad blood between us. I knew I'd never forgive her for what she'd done to me. If only we could somehow see our relationship past that incident... But seriously, who was I kidding? I couldn't and I simply won't ever forget it. Her cries of pleasure are still reigning free in my mind. The cries I'd heard through his own memories when I kissed him and absorbed him to prove him innocent. I wanted to help him out in a way that only I could and ended up being exposed to that horrid scene.

But still, she is my mother, my adoptive mother. For quite a long period of my life Destiny and Mystique were kind, loving and protective of me. The latter she still claims to be, she says she's done it all to protect me from him. I'd rather having him break my heart all over again than losing both the closest thing I'd had to a mother and my ex-lover, my love, all at once. How could she entertain the idea that I would accept what she did?

During the time I stayed with her in London, we tried to talk things through a number of times. None of our talks were fruitful. We always ended up arguing, accusing one another of betrayal. At times, she was arrogant and implied how stupid I had to be to fall for a guy like Remy, a guy, in her words, that is meant to be shared. To her, he's the unfaithful bastard, that's all there's to him. But I know there's so much more. We've always been able to have fun, banter and play. He's the only person in this world with whom I can totally be my real self. Even through the tough times, at my lowest low, he still acts like _I_ hold sun. Without fail, he was always there for me when I needed him, but she, she wasn't. After I joined the X-Men, she decided I was either with her or against her. And throughout all these years, she's always trying to find a way to coerce me to go back to her and, consequently, to the Brotherhood. Personally I believe Remy is only her new excuse, her new plan to get me back. Well executed I shall say. But it won't be this time that I'll be back to the Brotherhood. Or ever.

"Anna, don't you remember how we used to be? You said that was the first time in your life that you felt truly loved. Stay, I'm begging you." She murmured when she entered my room to see me loading a little bag with the few things I had on me, things she bought me for my stay. Some clothes, two pyjamas, probably all bought with her blood money. I didn't turn my back to face her and kept focused on my task.

"Anna, please. Talk to me." She spoke softly. I sat at the bed where the bag was resting all the while and stared defiantly up at the woman who made me call her mother and acted as such for a while until she started using me as weapon to serve her ideals and purposes.

"What is it, mom?" I spat at her acidly.

"Where are you going? Anna, you can have a home with me, why do you feel the need to runaway… again?" I didn't answer immediately and heaved a heavy sigh. I caught her eyes, and they were glittering with tears about to fall. "Anna, dear, do you still feel the need to come back to him? I'm not going to point out all the facts once again, but seriously! I can't understand why you would." She said with a trembling voice.

"I'm not going back to the mansion, not yet. I haven't even decided if I ever will, if you really want to know. But the truth is I'm happy there, it's all about him, you know? They are all my friends. In the battlefield, I would gladly lay my life for any of them as I'm sure they would do for me. You probably don't understand about friendship and loyalty, but I do and I treasure it. But if you're really interested in what I plan to do I'll tell you what I want. I just want to go out there, see the world, find it out for myself and hopefully find myself in the process." I spoke softly. I didn't want to fight. For one second her gaze at me had become sharp and narrow, only to soften again a second later.

"You have no idea how your words hurt me, daughter." Then it was my turn to get my eyes swimming in tears. I was feeling battered and bruised from all the heartache of those recent days. I just wanted out of all that. If only I could turn back time, I guess I wouldn't let myself fall for that sexy Cajun and all of this heartbreak would've been prevented from ever happening.

"Mama, please, let me go." I pleaded. Her face hardened again. I know what she was thinking. She most probably wanted to shout a loud and clear "No" and lock me in the best way she could, like when I was a teenager who needed limits and discipline. But this time around, she knows she can't do that, not anymore. I reached out and held her hands in mine which she allowed reluctantly. Feeling her warm hands in mine, touching her skin with no gloves, I hadn't even realized that perhaps I had never done that before. Her angry expression melted away, and she gave my hands a gentle squeeze. "You know I must go." I said softly, then met her gaze once again before breaking away, feeling my nerves about to falter at the now stricken look on her face.

"You're leaving me again." Tears rolled down her ever changing face.

"Yes, mama." I felt my heart hammering against my ribs as I crossed her door and slammed it shut behind me. Pain, heartbreak and sheer agony… but also, relief.

I had decided that I would take a month or two to clear my mind. And I would do that by going backpacking across Europe. I'd go wherever the wind took me. And that's exactly what I did. I've been to so many countries, some of them I hardly knew anything about, like Croatia and Bulgaria. And they proved to be not any less fascinating than countries I'd heard a lot about like The Netherlands, Greece and Italy. Each and every place I went to had something unique to offer, something surprisingly amazing, great people to hang out with, nice things to discover, lots of lessons to learn.

I did my traveling primarily alone, but was sometimes joined by people I met at the hostels and B&amp;B's I stayed in. It was liberating to talk to completely strangers, have them relate to me in some way, share laughs during drinking nights with other young travellers. Being abroad and having that sense of anonymity is surreal, and it is definitely an experience that everybody should have. I probably had the deepest moments of self-introspection during the few weeks that I travelled alone and that was exactly what I had been looking for. My oh-so-necessary detox trip.

My destination was always unclear. Since I hadn't booked the second half of my trip, I ended up traveling based on which route was available, cheapest, and as time efficient as I could manage. For those same reasons, I ended up almost stuck without a hostel in Munich because the overnight train to Budapest was completely full, ended up getting on a wrong train after a train change somewhere between Salzburg and Prague, and backtracking to a couple cities I'd already been to.

And it was in between all those unpredictable and exciting days that I met a British guy called Ben. I met him when in Berlin. He was in his uni's year abroad and had a careless touch to life which was quite reinvigorating. I worry too much, overanalyse and think too much, I feel too much, I love too much. His carefree ways drew me in. He seemed to be a decent enough guy and I thought I'd might as well allow myself to have some fun and who knows, maybe try a one-night stand. Remy has always claimed it freed his mind from the pain, from the agony. I learned how he felt about it when I absorbed him, a sense of momentary relief and detachment from the pain of loving me and being sure he wasn't the best for me. Yes, I guess I'd like that. The idea of forgetting about how my foolish heart insisted on loving him even though he had my mother open up her legs to him definitely appealed to me. Besides it's sex, what's not to love, right? I could seriously do with some physical loving after all that time going without it. It had been so long that I had last had sex, that Scott, the last one to get up close and intimate with me, had already gotten over me.

Ben and I met during breakfast at the hotel we were staying. I had no clue where he stood as far as mutants were concerned, so I never mentioned being one. That was always an issue for me, I've always been afraid that once anyone knew about that, they would get away from me as fast as they possibly could. But this cute British lad, as they say, there was something about him, he was a great listener and such a friendly guy overall, a little younger than me, dark hair and blue eyes, as cute as they come. He had a very different style from Remy, no mischievous grin, no sexiness oozing from his pores. I remember those kind of thoughts popped in my mind from time to time, like a little devil with a trident poking me, saying "Don't you forget him. Remember how much you love him." I shook Remy out of my mind and concentrated once more on the sweet looking guy. Ben's warm smile was enough to make me trust him, in a little over an hour, he managed to tell me all about his life. He made me feel at ease, so I decided to invite him to come along on my museum day which he accepted gladly.

We had a great but exhausting day. Museums can be quite energy draining, your mind whirls around with so much information, you learn so much it get you completely exhausted. It was extremely ambitious to think we could visit two great museums on the same day. We were having such a great time that I hadn't thought of Remy for the best part of the day. In the evening, we went out for dinner together. I made it clear to him that it was not a date, he laughed whole-heartedly at that. "Anna, I don't know what has happened to your love life recently, but take it easy, love. I won't be proposing tonight. Not just yet." He teased. Again, time flew by and I even told him I was a mutant. He seemed to think nothing of it, he didn't even ask the all-time classic 'So what's your power?' He only chuckled and said "That must be cool."

When we were heading each to our rooms at night, all of a sudden he grabbed my hands and pulled my body closer to his, his left arm went over my waist. "You are so beautiful." He murmured in my ear and it sent shivers down my spine. I had almost forgotten that feeling. I leaned forward into him, feeling the warmth of his body, closed my eyes and brushed my lips over his, he took the cue and kissed me full in the mouth. When our lips parted, I opened my eyes and looked right into his deep sea blue ones. It was so strange seeing a man's eyes this close, a blue touch of sky swimming into white. I grew used to both a men whose eyes could kill and were never to be seen and a guy who had the eyes of the devil, devilish intriguing and attractive. Staring into "regular eyes" felt odd. Before I had time to think about it any longer, he claimed my mouth and pulled me even closer against him. I gasped at that while his tongue pushed past my lips, hungry to taste everything he possibly could. He kept kissing me and forcing me take steps backwards. We slowly walked back awkwardly forever engaged in a fervent kiss till my back hit my bedroom door. He kept running his hand through my hair while kissing me, raking his fingers through the strands, grabbing handfuls of it and without a doubt making a wild tangle of my curls in the process. His other hand was pressed against the curve of my hip. It all felt so good, I threw my arm around my own back, holding the key card which was in the back pocket of my jeans and opened the room door. We almost collapsed to the ground when the door swung open and we started laughing at that. The giggles faded into sighs and he grinned at me seductively. Some sort of lopsided smirk was stamped on his face. And bang! It reminded me of Remy. I felt my stomach twist and turn at that. He held me close to him once again, kissed my lips briefly and then started tracing kisses along the line of my jaw and down my neck, I could feel his breath hot as he traced patterns on my skin. He was so delicate, a sharp contrast to what my last night with Scott was. As my mind was occupied with comparisons, I hardly had the chance to register the action until he stripped me off my shirt and ran his tongue down the valley between my breasts. I could hear my own breathing heavier, he pushed my bra to the side, licked a nipple slowly, smiled against it and then started sucking it, his body was pressed against mine and I could feel his hardness against my leg. Then, all of a sudden, what was so right and had me melting down started feeling so wrong. I barely knew the guy, making out with a stranger was ok with me, but going to bed, undressing… I don't know how Remy does it, but it's just not me. I wouldn't accomplish anything by trying to imitate him, I decided. The two guys that ever saw me naked were my good friend Scott Summers and my joy and pain, the love of my life, Remy LeBeau.

I pulled back, almost falling to the floor in my haste to get away from him. He threw his head back, closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry", I offered in almost a whisper. I just wanted Ben to be my man for the night, to chase away the cold and fill the emptiness inside of me, but things just didn't work out that way. He delicately pushed back the lock of white hair that had fallen over my face and spoke softly. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Anna." He stared into my eyes, those blue eyes of his, so sincere. "I'm sorry if it was all too fast for you. I never meant to bother you, I thought you were enjoying it as much as I was. I apologize."

He had to be all gentleman about it, it made me feel sorry for him. Poor guy, if only I wasn't so fucked up. "No, I am the one who has to apologize. I lead you in only to shut it all down abruptly." I spoke firmly.

"It's OK, Anna. Seriously. I wouldn't like to be the guy that you remember as a one-night stand mistake."

"Thanks for understanding." I said and gave him a quick peck on his lips, he smiled in reply.

That night we didn't sleep, and spent it all talking and having wine. And I ended up telling him about Remy and how I was travelling in a feeble attempt to forget about him and how it had proven useless. I was enjoying my trip, but it hadn't helped me get over him.

The next morning, I decided to pack up and head back to New York. I missed my real family too much for my own good. It was time to go back. Ben and I exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses and promised to keep in touch.

That night I hardly had any sleep, spent most of it wide awake, thinking of her. I ended up in the kitchen at 3am baking her favorite cake. She loved my recipe of Cajun cake with pineapple and a topping of coconut and pecans. Earlier that evening Scott found me in the game room just to tell me that she was coming back, and it was not like I had time to think it through, she would arrive very soon. Kitty and Jubilee heard the news not much long after that and spent dinner talking excitedly about how they would organize a little welcome back party in her honour. That meant that the first time I laid eyes on her after all that's been would be a public affair.

"I'm gonna get the food and Jubilee, you can sort out some decoration for the hall, and music. Gambit, perhaps you could cook something that she likes, for a more personal touch. What do you think?"

"I wouldn't go there if I were you." Wolverine warned the teenage girl. But I had to prove I was not all touchy feely about Anna. Yes, I loved her, I wouldn't pretend I didn't, not anymore. But it was going to be left unsaid and forgotten in the back of my mind. Everyone knew they should not bring that fact to attention.

Trying to sound unaffected by the mention of Anna's name I replied. "Petite, I wouldn't mind helping you out with that had I not a busy training schedule set up for tomorrow." And that was true. I spent most of that day training in the gym and later in the danger room. Storm was going to pick her up from the airport and we were all supposed to be in the hall when she arrived to shout "Surprise" or something like that and welcome her back.

I was having my shower after all the hard work when I heard the sound of distant cheers and music. I had missed her arrival. I got dressed and ready as I normally would and went down to join them all. As I entered the room, I saw her in the far corner of the room, for a few seconds I watched her holding a piece of the cake I made her, munching on it every now and then while chatting excitedly with Storm and Beast. She didn't notice my arrival, but Cykes did. He joined me as soon as he saw me.

"Are you all right, man? Are you ready for this?" He asked me as ge patted my back with one hand.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I replied. "That means, not ready." I could feel my chest going up and down, my breathing grew laboured at the sight of her, my palms were sweaty. Scott picked up on the signs and offered. "Hey, chill out, Remy. Just take a deep breath, take a moment to yourself before you go say hello."

"I will. She looks different, doesn't she?" I commented, to which remark he just nodded in agreement. She had an European thing to her look, I couldn't say exactly why I thought so. She had her hair up in a messy but stylish bun, and two strands of white hair at each side, framing her pretty face. I could tell she had lost some weight. Her voluptuous curves were less pronounced than I remembered, but she still had my jaw dropping and my mouth watering at the sight of her magnificent assets. The skinny jeans she was wearing, even though it was topped with an oversized shirt, revealed that perfect shape of her ass. Oh that ass! My dirty mind took me back to one of the many nights we had together.

"Scott, say something. Wake me up from my daydream." I demmanded.

"Jubilee has a crush on you." He offered.

"Hey, what?" well, I had to give it to him. It worked. I was out of my trance. Funnily enough, Jubilee looked at me from the distance and smiled. She shrugged her shoulders and looked at Rogue, as if motioning for me to go talk to her. I pressed my lips into a thin smile and the girl mouthed at me "Go talk to her".

Then all of a sudden, I hear the words:

"_There are certain people you just keep coming back to /_

_She's right in front of you_."

I looked at Jubilee and rolled my eyes. The song continued playing and I walked purposefully towards her.

"Hey, what the hell, petite! Why did you do this to Gambit, huh?"

"Do what?"

"Play that song." And the guy continued to press his case against me.

"_Maybe you want it, maybe you need it__  
__Maybe it's all you're running from__  
__Perfection will not come _

_(…)_

_We'd never know what's wrong without the pain__  
__Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same"_

"Hey! My IPod is on shuffle! And nobody realized anything but you. You probably didn't think about what any of the other songs were telling you up to this point. It's all on your mind." She defended herself. "She has certainly not paid too much attention to it." We both looked at Anna who was now talking to Jean and Wolverine. I crossed my arms over my chest and gave Jubilee an evil stare. And that was when _ma belle_ Anna noticed me. She smiled and walked slowly towards me from the opposite direction, I smiled back and started walking towards her as if to almost walk into her. We stopped short, an inch from each other, but not touching. I suddenly felt nervous and wanted to dig around my coat pocket in search for cigarettes, but refrained from doing so.

"Hello, Gambit." She said with a smile. And here we go again, her calling me Gambit, I thought to myself. Her gaze had gone sharp and narrow. She examined my body up and down for a second or two and I felt like she was undressing me with her eyes. I sighed heavily at that, I'm not sure if she noticed it.

Then to my utter surprise she says "I've missed you, Remy." And with those words a brilliant smile bloomed over her face.

"I missed you too, chére." I hear myself saying before I could stop it.

"Thanks for the cake. It was delicious, and just as I remembered it."

"Oh, the cake. I'm glad you liked it. It was my way of saying 'welcome back', chére." Though I would like to welcome you back in a more physical way the devil in my head thought. I blinked for a second longer than normal, and tried to push those thoughts to the back of my mind. Her perky breasts right under my nose didn't help me in my task. I took slow breaths while I racked my brain in search of something nice to say while she seemed to be all self-conscious as she swiped a white lock of hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

"So, how was your trip?" I asked feigning interest as best as I could. What I really wanted to ask was 'So, did you meet anyone? Did you get over me? Because I may fake well, but I clearly am not over you yet and don't know if I'll ever be.'

She then proceeded to tell me all about the places she visited, how she had met so many interesting people from different countries and they all had something to teach her about life, giving her some perspective. At some point I was not even registering what she was saying any longer but felt soothed by the sound of her voice. I missed it so much. That was until Storm butted in.

"Anna, dear, are you free on Friday evening?" she was holding her cell phone and was having someone at the other end wait for _ma belle_'s reply.

"It seems so. Unless Remy here wants to ask me out or something." She said with a friendly smile and blinked at me. Before I could say anything at all, Storm spoke loudly into her phone. "So that's settled then." She turns to Anna and says "So Friday it is, girlfriend. He'll come by at seven." And the weather witch blinked at her. Her eyes locked in mine for a mere second and I frowned at her. Did it really have to be in front of me? That was unnecessary. I know me and her can never be together again after all I did, but I didn't need to hear about dates from the horse's mouth.

She looked at me with an 'excuse my friend' expression on her face and rolled her eyes at Storm jokingly. "She never gives up. You know her!"

"That I do." I knew well enough how much she wanted me and Rogue to move on with our lives, miles away from each other, if possible. She claimed she loves us too much to see us hurt again. 'Go find happiness in someone's heart.' She used to tell me. Easier said than done, _mon ami_.

We remained in each other company in silence for God knows how long, it could have been seconds, minutes, I can't precise. Just staring into each other's eyes. Once again they looked like the innocent eyes I met all that time ago, green and gold, my emerald treasure. Flattering butterflies tickle my insides, I'm so in love with her. I wanted to kiss her, mon Dieu, I want her so badly. Yet, I only stared back at her. She looked almost apologetic back at me.

She could stare right through my soul with those lonely green eyes, surrounded or on her own she always felt alone, I knew it. And she knew only sadness for happiness always dwindled in between breaths and only I knew how to fix it. But I know I can also, and have already made the pain sharper and the loneliness more painful.

Million of words had been spoken without a sound. I wondered if other people noticed. That was until Jean broke the spell with random words.

"Anna, come over here. We want to see our pictures but Kitty can't find it in the flash drive you gave her. Maybe it's another one?"

"I… I'll take a look." She spoke absentmindedly, not turning her head to see our red-haired teammate. "I gotta go." I couldn't help myself, bent down and kissed her rosy cheek. She blushed at that and rested her hand where I had kissed her. She smiled at me and said.

"I really gotta go now, Gambit. See you around."

"See you, _mon amour_." I whispered as she was already gone.

X X X

I'd like to thank recent favorites, reviews and follows. I like to send a personal thank you message, but haven't had the time. Special thanks to kataract52 who kindly reviews every chapter. I always look forward to your reviews, dear.

This ended up being a very long chapter as compared to the others. I hope you could all hang on to it until the end :D Let me know what you think, if you can.

I'm too lazy to review before publishing and always find typos and mistakes later on. Apologies for that.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

It gets on my nerves how stubborn Storm can be at times, particularly so when we are dealing with her dear friend Remy. I know for sure that she doesn't have any crush on him, or anything remotely quite like that, she feels protective of him, that's about it. She loves him dearly and doesn't want him to suffer, but she can't feel the pain emanating from him like I do, sense the agony in his thoughts like I can. Neither can she comprehend Anna's confusion.

I know, I know! The girl has wrecked my marriage, and I should still hold a grudge against her. But I believe I had it coming for me anyway. In the end, I have to thank her for that. She's been out of control, and who can blame her? No one here has been in her shoes, we'll never know what it feels like to have your teenage years stolen from you, the best years of your life, of flirting, kissing, making out, learning all about seducing, and having fun with guy. She hasn't had any of that. So it all came later and in the shape of a tsunami when she finally nailed it, when she finally gained full control of her powers. It can't have been easy, and ok, all this forgiveness and understanding, maybe it's Wolverine's influence on me. He loves her so much, probably the same way Storm loves Gambit, in this twisted parent-like way.

Either way, it still bothers me all this meddling she's doing. She thinks it's for the best, but I know better. I wish I could just tell her, but I'm trying not to make mistakes in the friendship department again. Bobby is a great guy and he probably doesn't even know I know. God, I guess he himself doesn't know about it himself. He's in denial, poor thing. He's gay, goddam it! It would be easier if he just embraced his sexuality and stopped trying to prove the world he's someone who he's not. He's always chasing the hottest chicks around, giving everyone the impression he's a total womanizer, when in reality he'd rather be with a guy as much as I do. Storm doesn't know about this, and I can't tell her, it would be breaking my friend's heart. True relationships are built on trust. That's precisely why I ditched Scott. It is excruciatingly painful when someone breaks your trust and I won't do that to anyone. Bobby is such a great guy, so if that's what he wants, I'll never tell anybody, he can be in the closet for as long as he wants. It's not my business. And all in all, I'm sure that Anna will have a blast, he'll probably make her laugh like she hasn't laughed in a very long time, but he's definitely not the saviour Storm expects him to be.

"That's such a terrible idea, Storm. Just let her be!" I advised.

"Now Bobby we'll be here at any minute. They will go out and let's see what happens. Who knows? Maybe she'll find her true love."

I furrowed my brows as I wondered if Storm was under the influence. True love? She has got to be fucking kidding me. "If it's not meant to be, promise me you'll just stop forcing guys Anna's way, will you? Moreover, she's already found her true love alright."

"Jean, you gotta be kidding me? Don't you understand? Don't you see what happened between those two?" She whispered. Funny thing, neither of us seemed to realize that Gambit was in there too. He was reading, sitting on an armchair at the far end of the room. He seemed oblivious to our presence and conversation. "Anna needs to move on, and so does he. I'm just trying to help." Storm murmured.

"Scott moved on from her without another ass to fill her place. I have to give him that, he's one hell of a determined person."

That was when Anna showed up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gambit putting his book down, jaw dropped. Not so great at disguising how much he stills loves her, huh?

"Hey, girlfriends! How do I look?"

"Stunning, my dear friend! Very beautiful indeed." Said Storm in absolute excitement. I eyed Remy once again and he remained planted on his seat, just silently staring at Anna in awe.

"Do you think I look a bit slutty in this dress?" She spoke softly blushing a little. She wore a figure-hugging light pink bandage dress. The stretchy fabric that appeared to be wrapped around her curvaceous body in layers to much of Remy's despair made his mouth water with desire. His mind was screaming feelings of lust.

"Well, to be honest, you do." I said in all my sincerity. Storm elbowed me. "Well, she does." I continued. "Maybe… ahm… slutty-chic?"

"I'm sure it will be a hit." Storm offered in sympathy. 'And miss.' I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes so hard at her remark that I thought I'd just seen my brain.

Then Anna was suddenly aware of Remy at the far corner of the room and their eyes met. Their eyes locked, they stared at each other in silence while we watched a bit dumbstruck. If theirs was not the so called unconditional love, I don't know what else is. She couldn't touch him and he fell for her, he had a reputation of an incorrigible ladies' man and she fell for him. Then he started sleeping around, and she still loved him. She started fucking one of his best friends, and he still loved her. He broke up with her because of his hurt pride, and she still loved him. She ran away from him, he'd run away from her but still they loved each other. Goddamn it! Why don't they just get back together and quit the silliness for once and for all? Their silent longing for each other, Rogue's chest heaving as she struggled to control her breathing to an acceptable pattern was getting on my nerves. Storm and I definitely have very different opinions on their issue. She thinks if they found someone else to love they will be saved from the hell they are living in right now, as for me, well, I know for a fact that they will only find solace in each other's arms.

Their moment was ruined by Scott who came into the room wolf whistling at Anna. I rolled my eyes with all my might at him.

"Jealous much, Jean? You know I'm yours, whenever you want me back." He said half-jokingly. I snorted at that. He threw his right arm around my waist and planted a sweet kiss on my forehead. I can't deny it, the mere touch of his lips, his smell close to me brought memories back and it sent shivers down my spine. But I managed to keep my cool.

"You'd better not get caught flirting with Jean in front of Logan, Scott." Storm warned him. Remy went back to reading his book and Rogue shook her head at Scott in disapproval.

He snorted at Storm's remark and added. "She was mine before she was his!"

"Hey, I'm right here! And I'm not an object." I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, love. Seriously, it was not my intention to offend you. I was just winding you up. Gee, girls! You gotta have some sense of humour. You look great, Rogue. Where are you going look smoking hot like that?" he asked in a friendly tone.

"I'm meeting Bobby, aka the Iceman. We are going on kind of a blind date." She spoke softly and blushed a little. Then, she made their distance narrow and whispered in his ear. "Ororo's idea." They smiled at each other and exchanged understanding looks.

"Well, I hope you two have a great time. I love that guy, he's a great friend."

"Hummmm… You love him? He does need some bromance if you ask me." I couldn't resist. The insinuation left my lips before I could stop myself. Scott's corners of his lips went upwards in a mischievous grin. We remained a second in silence and then burst in laughter in unison.

"What? What's so funny?" Ororo asked impatiently.

"Nothing, Ororo." Scott replied, trying hard to straighten up his face. "Apparently Jean and I still share the same sense of humor."

Then Bobby arrived. Charismatic and charming as he's always been, he comes into a room and steals the scene. He greeted all of us individually, making us all smile sincerely at him in the process. He's one of those people that everyone wants to be around, makes people feel amazing about themselves, and seems to have an effortless effervescence. Finally directing his attention exclusively to Rogue, he announced. "You look amazing, Rogue. It's nice to see you again. Well, good night everyone, we have to go now or we'll be late for our reservations." He took her hand in his and off they went, leaving the room talking excitedly about Bobby's arrangements for their date.

Once they were gone, Scott asked Remy. "So, Thief, I was looking for you. I thought you might use a night out in town too. Wanna hit the local bar?" And after some protesting, Gambit agreed to go out with Scott. They are so close these days it's ridiculous! They might as well found their own very exclusive gentlemen club: Guys who fucked Rogue. Now what do I care? Eyeing thmmy eem both leave, my eyes followed Scott's back for a while longer than it should. Some alien feeling of longing invaded me for a second. I used to love that man so much! Then my phone beeps and I knew it was Logan inadvertently sending me back to present life.

It turned out the night was a little better than I expected. After that awkward moment of silence in the hall when I stared into Remy's eyes and could see my whole life in a flash through them. I could swim into his longing red in black eyes forever. I felt my heart constricting inside my chest, my insides turning and twisting inside of me. Butterflies? More like dragons burning me from inside out. And he reciprocated my affectionate stare. He sighed lovingly and I followed suit. He flashed his usual lopsided grin which always makes my legs all wobbly and went back to reading his book without saying a word at all. Oh just imagine the happy life we ought to have had if he hadn't started bed hopping! I loved those eyes, loved that man, what the hell was I doing agreeing on seeing someone else on a date when I'm still clearly hooked on him? But it was too late to go back on my decision, he was just about to arrive.

Bobby is indeed a great guy as everyone said. We had a amazing time, he made me laugh and God! Did I need some fun for a change! Every since I came back, I felt the comfort of being surrounded by familiar and friendly people but seeing Remy the way he was, so different, kind of reserved, kept it to himself most of the time, training hard as if he was running for Gold or something. His way of winding up was reading for crying out loud! I don't know if he's trying to prove something to me or what the heck this is all about, but truth is I wish he would just go back to being himself.

After a night of fun, cinema, dinner at a nice restaurant but, shockingly, no goodnight kiss by my doorstep, I made me way back into the mansion. In fact, I thanked God for the lack of a kiss attempt from Bobby, I don't know how I'd have reacted to that.

As I make my way to my bedroom, I let my thoughts run freely through my mind. I took off my platform heels and carried the pair with the tip of my fingers. I drag myself around the mansion, thinking of him, my Remy, my gorgeous Cajun boy, how happy we used to be before, well, before everything, we were such good friends, made each other laugh so easily, when I'm abruptly awaken from my daydreaming. I hear a tiny sound in the darkness of the corridor and I let my shoes fall to the floor with a thump. Immediately my fight-or-flight response kicks in, I feel adrenaline spreading out through my veins and I'm all ready to fight should there be an intruder in the mansion. Then another sound, this time closer to me, I clenched my fists and felt my muscles tense in anticipation for a confrontation. That was when those red beams of light came into view.

"Shush, chére. No need to get so worked up. It's just me." He whispered in that sexy accent of his.

"Oh hi, sugar. You scared the hell out of me! Goddamn it!" I didn't care to watch my language. I had been so startled, my pulse had quickened and I was still dealing with it, trying to calm down. Funny thing my heart was still racing as if the menace was indeed there. Perhaps it was. He must have noticed my chest still moving frantically up and down for he tried to soothe me by touching me lightly in my arm, brushing his fingers against my skin delicately, caressing it softly. It had been so long since he laid even a single finger on me. His touch, the mere touch of his hand on my arms sent shivers through my spine. I couldn't help it. I closed my eyes at that feeling. The absence of sight enabled me to enjoy his touch even more. At that clue, he leaned forward, I could smell his manly scent that's always made me so desperately in love with him, but then, he stopped short of touching me, as if reminded about all the reasons why he shouldn't kiss me. Fuck! I wish he had kissed me indeed, but couldn't bring myself to take matter in my own hands and smash my lips against his. I opened my eyes and I'm pretty sure I must have frown at him. 'Why wouldn't you kiss me?' I thought. Soon after, embarrassment hit me hard in the face. I had completely overreacted to his touch, to the way being close to him makes me feel. My checks must have burn fiery red as I heard his throaty chuckle.

"What?" I feigned confusion, and shortly after, smiled, failing miserably to hide my feelings. "What is it?" I said as I looked upwards at him, tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Nothing, chére." He chuckled once again. He must've been laughing out loud inside his head. Laughing at me, at my stupid pathetic ways. "How was your date, ma belle?"

"Oh, the date! Yes, it was okay, I guess. Bobby is nice he's a funny guy. We had a good time." He was a great guy indeed, I thought. He had to put with me pouring my heart out, and he did so gracefully. It seems he was not interested in me after all, I didn't notice any hint of jealousy. Perhaps he was only meeting up with me because he couldn't take any longer of Storm's nagging either. "You should meet someone new." I heard her say inside my head.

"Glad to hear he treated you nice." He spoke softly.

"Well, not that nicely as you might be thinking." I added apologetically before I could stop myself from doing so. I wanted to hit myself for that.

"Well, uhm" He cleared his throat. "I was going down to the kitchen to fix myself something to eat. Would you… would you like to join me? Or maybe not, you were just out on a date, you're probably not hungry."

"To be completely honest with you, I am. I don't think it would hurt to go and have that omelette you used to make me." And there, bang, I brought up the past. The memory of us heading down to the kitchen in middle of the night, afters hours of delicious love making flooded my mind. We would go hand in hand, broad smile on our faces, hearts bursting with love and temporarily quenched desire for one another. I wanted to cry, I wanted to throw myself in his arms, ask him to love me like he used to. As those feelings washed over me, he simply replied.

"Of course I can cook the omelette that you like, chére. Here." And he took me by the hand and we rushed together through the corridor. Yes, it was just like we had time travelled.

…

What a roller-coaster of a night that was! I had been feeling slightly depressed, I had devoured a book in one go for crying out loud. Scott had invited me to go out for drinks and fun, but I wasn't feeling like it.

I felt so hollow. It was a terrible feeling, not to feel anymore, that probably doesn't even make any sense, but it did to me. Just as I was making my way to the kitchen for a late night snack when we kinda bumped into each other and ended up having the best time I've had in a while. She turned my world upside down without making any effort, just as she always does.

She agreed to join me, I cooked for her, watched her as she gladly downed the omelette I made her. The funny faces she made when she realized I was staring at her! I probably did a lot of staring last night. It filled my heart with joy to her so content. We chatted for a while, she giggled away at my silly comments and remarks. I wanted moments like that to go on forever. Before I could even think it through, I call Cykes.

"Good morning, Mr. Lebeau. You seem to have completely forgotten our training session at 7. You're calling to apologize, I assume."

"Knock it off, Scott. I want to ask you a favour."

"You stood me up and thinks I'll be helping you? Better think again."

"I want Bobby's number."

"Oh!"

X X X


	20. Chapter 20

20

I wanted to talk it all over sooner, but I just couldn't grow the balls to do it. So, I kept postponing it. Whenever we were left alone by chance, we just mumbled words of 'hello', 'how are you's and 'goodbye's. When Jean was with me, it was easier though. We would exchange some words, to keep the group conversation flowing, barely acknowledging each other. She hardly ever looked me in the eye. I knew so much about her and she knew so much about me. Why the fuck did we let that incident tear us apart? She talks to Gumbo and Scott for Heaven's sake! But not to me. With me, it's all very awkward. If she wasn't such a dear friend to me, I'd fuck off and leave her the hell alone, but she was much more than that. I just couldn't let one of the few people who got me slip away just like that.

I am not a perfect person - far from it, really. I've made lots of mistakes in this life of mine, but still I love the few people who stay with me after knowing how I really am. Anna has stayed with me when I needed her. Jean told me she has asked her about my new girlfriend's intentions, afraid that she'd go and break my heart. Jean said that was very sweet of Anna and pointed out how that shows she obviously still cares about me.

After dinner time, everyone seemed to have something that needed their immediate attention and left the dining area as soon as they had finished eating. They were all lousy liars for they clearly had it all shamelessly premeditated, I knew it. Jean talked to them surely. I had told her earlier that day that I was going to talk to Anna. These guys! Did they honestly believe I wouldn't notice? I did, but I'm afraid Anna didn't. She looks so easily distracted recently, absorbed in her little dramas. She kept minding her own business while I stared at her waiting for a cue. Since it never came, I just butted in.

"So, Anna, just the two of us, huh? I guess we'll be doing the cleaning tonight." I spoke awkwardly. It's not like me trying to sound nonchalant - I'm straight to the point. Visibly embarrassed, I tried hard to sound friendly. She knows me, she knows how much effort it takes me. I was never one to beat around the bush.

"Yes, sugar. So it seems." She replied with a tiny smile and started collecting plates and cups off the table. I followed suit. We walked together to the kitchen in silence, as soon as we got there, I placed all the stuff I was carrying at the counter, turned around and stared into her eyes. She looked at me and frowned.

"So, Logan, just cut it, ok? What is it? I'm no fool. If you want to talk to me, just say it." She spoke bluntly.

"You trying to intimidate me. Get outta here! I know it's a show." I said. Her facial expression softened.

"If this is about the scratch on your bike, I'm sorry, okay? I'll have it fixed, I promise." She added softly.

"Did you scratch my bike?" I asked her in disbelief. For fuck's sake! My bike! She just got her car a flat tyre and three very distinct marks along the side panel...

"Wasn't that what you wanted to talk about?" She offered a shy smile. Then, I laughed and she laughed too.

"What? What is it?" I asked when our laughter faded.

"Nothing, sugar. I don't know. I just… what is it that you wanted to say?" she asked softly, trying not to piss me off. I know her well enough to know that although sometimes she wants to sound tough, she's a big softie inside. She doesn't want to go breaking other people's feelings just like that. To this day, I have no idea how she gathered the courage to pay him back and cheat on him, because that's so not like her.

"You know me, nothing, I… I'm not very good with words." I pointed out the obvious.

"I know! You want things to go back to the way they used to be, right? So do I. But we're awful in communicating our feelings, huh?" I nodded in agreement. It was true. "So then, that's settled." She smiled in relief. She had probably been dreading the possibility of a confrontation.

"Anna, not so fast. I mean, there are some things that have to be said, don't you think? We can`t just pretend nothing ever happened and go back to the way things were." I then proceeded to tell her how sorry I truly was for having ruined her possible reconciliation with Remy. That night at the bar, they seemed to be hitting it off, finally. But I had to get amazingly drunk and spill the beans about Anna's planned revenge. After that they just got further and further away from each other and I can't help but think if it hadn't been me, they would have got back together that night or soon after that and none of the heartache that followed would have taken place.

Jean says it's not my fault. And it isn't, I know. But if I hadn't said anything, they'd probably be together. He wouldn't have screwed her mother, for example. And according to Anna, that's a major deal breaker right now. How could she even contemplate the idea of him - the man who fucked her mom? Her words, not mine.

We headed to the bar that night, where she told me this and much more. And she too insisted that none of what had happened was my doing, but true, she had resented me for a long while.

"But you know what Logan, he's simply not boyfriend material. He's proved that too many times. Maybe what you did, well, you just anticipated what was inevitably going to happen. Besides, I would have to come clean about it all at some point."

"Ok, so if you have come to that conclusion that he's not good enough, not reliable enough, why the hell don't you just move on? It seems to me that you still love him."

"Maybe I do. Well, what the hell. There's no point pretending, not to you. Of course, I do. You know me well enough to know that I'm still in love with him."

"When have you two ever fallen out of love? I don't think either of you ever did." I told her calmly. She remained silent for a while, carefully taking her time to consider what I had just said. After that, she never said a word about Remy anymore. She asked me all about Jean and I, how it was going and I updated her on our little things. She was amazed to learn how our love life is pretty much trouble free. She was so addicted to the drama that she didn't know it could all be easy. Like Jean and I, just easy. 

"What about this thing, you and Bobby? That's wack, right?" I asked her. She hadn't mentioned him at all, not even once. So what's the point? She doesn't look the slightest bit interested.

"He's a distraction, sugar. That's all." She replied emotionlessly and shrugged. Then she told me she was seeing him again the following day. They were going to a super fancy place. She thought it ought to be fun at least.  
After that, we gossiped about rumours that Scott was seeing Emma Frost. Yes, you heard it right, THE Emma Frost from the Hellfire Club. We had a good source, Remy had told me.  
"For you, I can admit, it put me at ease. You know, Jean and him, I don't know…"

"Come on now, Wolvie! She loves you and you know that. Stop selling yourself short. Enough of this non-sense of Scott being much better than you! Besides, from what I remember from our drunken moment of madness, you're a better kisser than he is." I don't know if she was telling the truth or was just trying to be supportive, but it was funny. We laughed hard at that.

Soon later, we decided to call it a night. It was so good talking to the girl. However, I don't like it that she's not happy. She doesn't need to say she isn't. I just know it. I love that girl and it bothers me that she is always running away from happiness.

…

As I got ready for another date with Bobby, I wondered why he wanted to see me again. Yes, he had asked me out one more time. And no, I don't think I make his eyes sparkle. We don't have any chemistry whatsoever. I mused over his possible reasons for inviting me out same as I often mused over every facet of my life as I absentmindedly brushed my hair and stared back at myself in the mirror. Before I knew it, a frown marked my face. Why was I agreeing to that? What a waste of time. I sighed at that thought.  
We were going to a super fancy restaurant downtown, so I had to wear something nice. I looked over my bed, where the new dress I was going to wear was lying. I had carefully picked a light blue Grecian-inspired chiffon maxi dress with pleating detail and exposed half-slip. The delicate fabric made me look like I was floating about as I walked. My back was totally naked and Jean said it was insanely sexy. I picked it up at the mall the day before. Jean had offered to come along and help me choose it.

According to her, Bobby and I were going to the very restaurant where Scott had proposed to her. She insisted I get something splendid for the occasion and I wondered where all that sudden enthusiasm was coming from.  
And now there I was, seriously considering calling it all off. The phone rings and I obediently picked it up without giving it a second thought. It was Bobby, telling me he was downstairs already. Great! I had no time for getting ready properly. But that dress, it called for it. I thought 'What the hell! You know what? I might as well make the most of the night.'  
There will be flawless polished Rogue tonight. Bobby might as well wait, I decided.  
When I finally joined him down the hall, he didn't seem to be bothered at all at having to wait. Scott and he were chatting excitedly. When both of them saw me approaching them, they stared at me in awe, which made me a little self-conscious. Scott's comment didn't make things better.  
"Wow! Are you picking up an Oscar tonight, Miss? You look amazing. I might as well fall in love with you all over again."  
"Cut it, Cykes. I know you're dating Emma Frost. Everybody knows." I pointed out matter-of-factly. His face went extremely pale and he swallowed hard. So it is indeed true! Bobby chuckled at the scene.  
"Shall we go, pretty?" He said and then placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me out.  
"Bye, Scott." I said. I blew him a kiss and winked at him.  
The restaurant was beautiful, lavishly decorated, that combined with the low lighting made it all look very romantic. The fresh flowers, tasteful artwork, candlelight, classical music, not to mention linen tablecloths and napkins - everything looked polished and expensive. All the customers contributed to the ambience via the dress code a fancy restaurant asks for. I made a mental note of thanking Jean for making me get something nice.  
'You're welcome.' I heard her say inside my mind.  
'Jean, are you fucking spying on me? Creepy! Now get out of my head.'  
'Are you alone? Where is he?' she asked with curiosity.  
'Bobby excused himself just after we got our table. He forgot something in the car and here I am.'  
I only heard her gasping and disconnecting from my mind, only in time for me to concentrate on his arrival. As I was looking around, taking in the great atmosphere of the place, admiring happy couples and elegant people close by, I see him from the corner of my eye. Flabbergasted, I turned to see him making an entrance. He made all heads turn. All the women looked on as he moved swiftly past the tables and towards me. I couldn't help the twinge of jealousy that hit me, but at the same time sympathized with them as I knew just how impossible it was to look away from him.  
He was wearing a fine-tailored dark grey suit but no tie. His chocolate brown hair was impeccably groomed; I'd never seen it quite that way. He stopped right in front of my table, and glanced down at me. "May I?" he said. I felt breathless at how handsome he was. Well dressed, tall, and gorgeous with eyes too dark and still for my comfort. I tried to read him but couldn't. He had his best poker face on.  
"Remy! What are you doing here?" I asked him with a whisper.  
"May I?" he repeated, still standing. As my head was swimming in his looks, I couldn't quite register anything at all and just nodded in reply. I felt that familiar warm wetness, constantly deep breathing I tried as hard as I could to control my urges. He took a seat and stared at me, not bothering to say a word or explain why he was there. His red eyes' silent stare bore a hole deep in my soul. I sighed lightly, trying to regain focus. Goddamn it! What was that all about? Did he have to look that good? It was impairing my ability to think straight, images of his sweaty naked body inside mine insisted on being projected inside my head. I managed to keep those at bay for a second and ask him the most urgent question.  
"Remy, won't you tell me what you're doing here and where the hell Bobby's gone?"  
He smirked at my question. He flashed his drop-dead gorgeous lopsided smile. His hand slid through the table and before I could even blink our fingers were interlaced. The mere touch of his hand made me crave the weight of his body on top of mine.  
"Did he not tell you I'm your date tonight, chére?"


	21. Chapter 21

I saw it when they arrived. Ma chére got out of the car and she looked absolutely stunning, like an angel… ma ange. Iceman opened the car door for her and offered her his hand. 'Nice touch', I thought. But he'd better not be too nice. Oh, yes. I forgot Jean told me he's gay and made me swear by Anna's life I would not to tell it to anyone. But still, I got jealous. Funny thing is that there were so many situations in the past that should have had me dying of jealousy but I have to get jealous at a gay guy treating my Anna nicely.

Two minutes later, Bobby was back to the parking area. I flashed my headlights and he walked slowly towards my car.

"She's all yours now, Gambit. Good luck, man." He said as I got out of the car.

"Thanks a lot, Bobby." I thanked him and patted his back.

"So this is it, right? Or maybe not, who knows. I wish you guys all the best, together or apart. And by the way, nice attire, huh? You're looking great." He offered me a compliment.

"What do you mean? I always look great, homme." I replied and winked at him. We parted ways and I made my way into the restaurant.

As I walked in, I could feel the hungry stares of tout les femmes in there. Sometimes it gets annoying… But then, then there was her. All the background faded, it became a blur and she was all I could see. Her pretty face, her breath-taking sensuality, her lovely green eyes, those plump lips of hers which have kissed my body all over countless times, the sight of her made me melt inside, she was unbelievably irresistible.

She didn't notice me at first, distracted as usual. She looked so sweet, curiously watching the people around her, until she saw me. Her mouth turned into a big "O" as she gasped in surprise at my presence. She was a vision of ecstasy. 'Oh chére, it will be so hard to let you go… if I have to', I thought to myself.

When I reached her, I had to ask her twice if I could join her. She was totally eating me with her eyes. I know her so well. I know when she's aroused. It's ridiculous that she tries to hide it from me. I had to use all my inner strength to manage not to laugh at her like I did the other day when I met her in the corridor late at night. She's so adorable when she is pretending not to want me. She definitely has one or two things to learn from me in that department.

When she finally acknowledges my presence by allowing me to take a seat, she starts getting all worked up and asks me what I was doing there. I simply informed that I was her date for the night. The look in her face! It was priceless. I should have surprised her more often when I had the chance.

"Hi. I am Mr. LeBeau, but you can call me Remy. I'll be your date tonight. Nice to meet you, petite." I said, keeping my straight face.

"What!? Gambit, have you gone nuts?" she asked me impatiently.

"I never introduced myself as Gambit. As I told you before, you can call me Remy." I spoke calmly.

"Remy, enough with the games. I can't believe that I bought this expensive dress for this." She shook her head and threw the napkin on the table, pulled her chair back as if she were about to leave. I quickly held her two hands.

"Chére, don't! Please! Sorry, I'm not mocking you. I just wanted you to picture this. What if I was a stranger? Would you love me? What if we had just met? Would you want me?"

"Remy, look around. All the women in this place want you! So yes, I'd probably be one of them." She replied.

"Chére, that's not my point. Thing is, if we had just met, and we were committed not to make the same mistakes we made in the past, don't you think it will work?" I started speaking hurriedly.

"Sugar, you totally lost me now."

"Anna, tell me why can't we just start over and forget all that's been. I want to try. We have to at least try. You don't throw away something like what we have. It doesn't happen every day."

"Hey, slow down! What did you just say?" Her eyes were suddenly glittering and she placed her hand over her chest.

"Chére, I've reached a wall… sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating… we either sink or swim. And now I'm ready to sink, if it comes to that." I said. She looked confused, she frowned at my words. To me, I was making perfect sense, but apparently, not so much.  
"Ma amour, you know I love you, I do, I still do." She simply nodded. "And I know you love me back." She sucked in her breath at my words. Then, nodded again, blushing a little as she did so. "Also, I know why everybody, ourselves included, feel that we can't be together even though we love each other. We fucked it up too many times. I know you now see me as the man who… I can't even bring myself to say it." I continued softly.

"Fuck my adoptive mother." She offered, saying it bluntly.

I lowered my head and massaged my temples with the tip of my fingers. Why did I even consider this? Why did I think this could work? To my surprise, she reached out and held my hands in hers.

"Remy, I know. I know what you mean. It would be great if we could work it out, wouldn't it?" she asked simply, her voice calm and collected. There was no hint of accusation or sarcasm. "But do you really think that bringing me here will solve all our problems?"

"Chére, listen to me. Do you remember how you asked me, on the day that I broke up with you, if it was possible, if we could ever find another 'love of my life'? It got me puzzled then, and I never forgot that question of yours, not even for a day. And you know what? I got to the conclusion that your suspicion was right all along. There won't be another quite like you and it cripples my heart. It terrifies me the thought of living my whole life without ever feeling the way I used to feel when we were together - when we held each other's hands and were there for one another, when we shared our every thoughts and dreams, or when we were making love." She was now overtaken by the seriousness of my words. She didn't spit back angry words or naked truths. She remained silent and seemed to be slowly digesting what I'd said.

I signaled for the waiter to approach and ordered us a bottle of wine and some appetizers. When I asked if she was ready to order, she simply shook her head. She stared at me in silence and heaved a sigh. I watched her every move intently, examining her for any possible clues that would allow me to guess what she was going to say and how she felt. Her chest heaved as she struggled to control her breathing. The perve in me couldn't stop himself from staring at her ample cleavage. I could see the whole shape of them and remembered how good it felt sucking at those nipples. Now it was my turn to get overwhelmed by desire, but my agony was short-lived as she got hold of the menu which blocked almost all my vision of her lovely figure.

During dinner, she pushed the conversation to another direction and I went along with it. It seems I ran out of luck for once and for all.

"So, chére, you know, I've been seeing a therapist…"

"Really? Well, that surprises me, Cajun. You were never the sort who would talk your problems to anyone." She replied.  
I felt a hint of jealousy. Of course, she's the one who used to listen to me.  
"So how's it going? Do you like it?" she asked me, raising an eyebrow. I growled in response.

"Well, it's Jean. She's my therapist." I confessed.

She laughed really hard at that, making other people steal glances our way. I was glad she didn't hit the table as she usually does when she finds something really funny over meal times. Sometimes she wouldn't dose her super strength right, and the blow would startle even our mutant friends. Imagine what people would think of her less than polished ways in a fancy restaurant. When she was done laughing at me, she finally put herself together and encouraged me to continue telling her about it.

"So… I told her how I love you, but right now I'm staring at a wall. A wall I can't seem to climb."

"There's no such a thing. There's no wall Remy LeBeau can't climb." She observed.

"True, chére. But I'm not talking about a physical wall."

"I know, I'm just teasing you." She smiled deviously. She was actually having fun at my cost, I thought. I would like to wipe that smirk off her face… by kissing her. 'Oh, Remy, patience, homme.' I tried to remind myself.

"So, as I was saying, Jean said leaving a damaged relationship can sometimes be a cop out, a way to avoid taking responsibility or recognizing your own faults. And now I do, I do recognize that I was wrong, so many times I cheated on you when you couldn't touch me. I was a jerk and here I am, once again, taking the blame. I've come to terms with it, it was all my fault." She listened carefully and asked me to continue. "So, she said it was really important that I got to the root of the problem. Why did I cheat on you to start with? And we both agreed it was the consistent lack of sexual gratification from you. And it was not your fault that you couldn't give it to me, I know. But it was my fault that I had compromised to something I could not keep up with." She took it all in and sighed deeply.

"So about the deal… the deal you're proposing. How is it gonna be?" she asked me.

"What deal, chére?"

"About us, starting over…" She trailed off and blushed delicately.

"It's not a deal, mon amour. I'm asking you to be mine again, to be my girlfriend. And if we want to be together, for real, we would have to forgive, forget and move on. If we don't truly forgive each other and vomit all we did to one another every time we have a minor disagreement, it won't work. That's why I say we forgive and never ever mention any of what's been. Like we had just met, wipe away all our bad memories. Chére, what I feel for you, it's so unique and as I told you, I think this is one in a lifetime thing. It would be a pity to throw it all away because I kept holding onto the things you did to me. The ball is on your court now. Are you willing to let us die because you feel you can't forgive me? Or do you want to start over as if it were day one?"

"Sugar, mmm… I… in fact, would you excuse me for a second?" And without further notice, she stood up and left immediately while I was left there wondering if she really needed the bathroom or something or if she was running away from that talk. Should I drop it altogether? Maybe I should. I conveyed my message, now it's up to her. Just as my mind swirled all over the place with worry, a waiter approached me.

"Sir, the beautiful lady in blue…" I cleared my throat hard, showing my disapproving him taking the liberty of commenting on her looks. He corrected himself. "I mean, the lady who's accompanying you, sir, asked me to deliver this to you, sir." Ok, maybe I scared the guy. There was no need for that and I regretted it. I simply thanked him and opened the folded credit card receipt he had handed me.

It was a note from Anna, she wrote it with red lipstick and it was all smudged, obviously someone had never used lipstick to write before.

"Follow me into the men's room." I chuckled at that, she had a good teacher of mischievous tricks. It reminded me of one particular time we sneaked into the ladies' in the bar we used to go to. I had been flirting with a girl when she arrived with Logan. I got a pen and paper from the girl I was talking to, she thought I was going to give her my number, but then I went over to greet my teammates and shoved the note into Anna's jeans pocket. We had such amazing sex that night… I sighed at the thought. But now, we were on a total different page and she was apparently refusing to put me out of my misery and tell me if she wanted in or out.

When I walked into the men's room, I could feel I had an erection already at half-mast. I had no idea what she had in store for me - if she was totally playing me and had left the restaurant - and the thrill of not knowing aroused me. My mind was flooded with delicious memories of her, images of our lovemaking: her startled, helpless look after that first stolen kiss; the taste and texture when I captured her pert, insanely hard nipples in my mouth; the deep dark honey sound of her moans when she climaxed over and over; her incredible tightness as I finally made love to her for the very first time; the wanting and vulnerability in her large, green eyes as she silently pleaded with me to take her again and again.

"Chére?" I asked in a whispering voice.

I heard a knock from inside the disabled toilet cubicle. It had to be her, or I was in for experiencing the most embarrassing situation ever. I stood just outside the disabled toilet and called out for her again.

"Yes, it's me." The familiar voice responded and she giggled lightly. I joined her in the cubicle. She was leaning against the tile wall, half sitting on the grab rail those particular kind of toilets have. The slit on her dress left all her right thigh exposed. She had great legs, I thought to myself. She looked at me with such a sultry glance that she had me mesmerized at the sight of her.

I was going to ask her what that was all about, if it meant a 'Yes, I wanna be with you.' , or if it was a sweet goodbye, but she left me speechless as she suddenly leaned over and kissed me. Her lips felt so nice, soft but strong. She was a good kisser. I kissed her back. She cupped my face with her both hands, and her kisses deepened and turned rather passionate. When our lips parted for a second, I managed to voice my concern.

"Chére, is this a yes or a no? I'm confused."

"Remy, I… I'm hungry for you and I can't think properly. I… I saw all these women eating you with their eyes, I'd forgotten what it is like to be your date and have these bitches all over you. It made me… want you more. So I just had to taste you, so I could think straight again." She spoke in between deep breaths. I felt so desperately in love with this woman and there we were, in this secretive forbidden place, up to no good. Needing to again taste her sweet mouth, I wrapped her waist and pulled her close, stopping short of kissing her, our lips barely touching. The look she gave me was completely unguarded, her full lips spread slowly into a sleepy, sexy grin. Tilting her chin up, she offered me her mouth. With a deep growl I took it. I was holding the sides of her face as I kissed her with unrepressed passion. She was gasping in excited surprise, clinging to me as her own passion rose to mirror mine. She arched her body upward, grinding against my hardness. My thighs impatiently pushing hers apart. I ground out through my teeth how much I wanted her. I needed to be inside her. She whispered "yes" over and over as she reached my trousers and unzipped it in a hurry, she held my member to help guide me into her. I grabbed her up and pinned her against the wall, her legs quickly locked around my waist.

Once in, I grasped her wrists, pulling her hands up and over her head as I slammed into her. Her strong legs around me kept her from sliding down the wall. She put her mouth to my neck as she wanted to scream out in mindless pleasure. But instead, she let out her muffled scream against my skin.  
I filled her so completely. I know I'm the only one who can bring her to heights she didn't think her body was capable of feeling. She told me so many times, but I didn't believe her. I thought she probably said it to everyone. Then time passed and I learned there wasn't 'everyone', there had only been me and Scott.  
I, myself, I'd never known anything quite like I feel when I'm inside her. It feels as if I am caught up in an elemental force that is well beyond my control, and I love it... oh I love it! I love her!  
With her head thrown back in pleasure and her long hair flowing wildly across her arched back, she reached climax and I found my release shortly after because part of my pleasure is watching her having hers. I held her body close to mine and we remained silent for a while, all I could hear was the sound of our breathing slowly turning back to normal. Somebody entered the bathroom and that forced us to keep it quiet for longer. We just looked at each other in silence and smiled. She suggested we went back inside. I was feeling a mix of excitement and apprehension. Was she finally going to deliver the blow and tell me it's good f*** me every once in a while but that's pretty much all she wanted from me, no strings attached. I remembered how I suffered seeing her with Scott, when she treated me like second option and my heart sank.  
She went in first, and second laters I rejoined her at the table.  
"So…" I said as I gently took her hands in mine. I had the biggest smile on my face. I was so happy, she had just asked me make love to her and we did it, and it was amazing. Obviously she was going to say 'yes'.  
"So what?" Ok, that was not quite what I had expected. I went on and repeated what I wanted for us: forgive, forget and move on.  
"Oh! That? No! Of course not! How could I forget?" she said, looking at me straight in the eyes and she spoke.  
'But chére, I thought… we just made love, you seemed so passionate, so in love."  
"Well, one thing doesn't have anything to do with the other."  
"So you want to throw it all away? Everything we feel? Everything we are, can and could be to one another. I love you, chére. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you. Please, please." I couldn't help but say. I didn't want to pressure her into getting back together. But I was so shocked at her refusal that I couldn't help it. Words just left my lips before I could stop them. I had to make an extra effort not to cry in public. I could feel a knot in my throat at that point.  
"Remy, can't you see? You don't understand, do you? And that's the problem, you never did. I don't want forgiveness, because I don't think I have to be forgiven, all I ever wanted was for you to understand why I did what I did. Same way you could tell what went into to you to go cheating on me while we were in a perfect, but immaculate, relationship. About Mystique, I know it was all a trap, but perhaps you could tell why the hell you have to eavesdrop on my conversation with Storm." I tried to say something, opened my mouth, but she didn't let me. "Yes, I know about that! She told me. You made such a fool out of me, sugar… And you're so arrogant to presume you're the only whom Storm loves and considers a friend."  
Oh, that was f*** great. Storm told her!  
"Chére, I can explain."  
"Ok, so go ahead. I'm not in a hurry. What time do they close it here?" She retorted. All smart mouth that femme of mine.  
"Chére, I…I just wanted to be with you again. If eliminating all the past would be the way, then I could compromise to that."  
"Remy, I told you. I want you to understand. You should have understood you, even if I terribly disagreed with you, I could have understood your reasons, if you had trusted me and opened your heart to me."  
"I'm no j***, chére. Of course I know why you started fooling around! I know that can't have been easy, spending your whole life without touching. It was probably all too much for you and you wanted to feel it all, to know what it was like to touching other people, people other than me. Perhaps you and Scott, I mean, you wanted me to hurt like you did, but you could have been curious how sex would go with someone else."  
"Why, thank you! For God's sake! Why have you never told me any of that?"  
"I had a lot of time to think about it, chére. Lots of time away from you…" I admitted.  
"We will work it out, sugar. We won't forget, but we understand each other, and yes, perhaps forgive and definitely never bring it up if its only purpose is to hurt each other. Let's not waste any more time, love. What do you say?" She said in a loving tone of voice, her knuckles gently brushing along my cheek, her killing smile warming my heart.  
I swept her off her seat, took her in my arms right there and then. Left a small pile of cash on the table and took my woman in my arms away.  
"Chére, we can pick up some ice cream for dessert on the way home." I told her, she laughed uncontrollably.  
"Whatever you say, Swamp rat! Or should I say 'my boyfriend'?  
"Je suis tu homme, ma princesse. You can call me whatever you please."  
"How about 'the love of my life'?"  
"Whatever you please, chére. Always! From now on, it will be all for you."

….

Three years later, in a dimension far, far away.

"Is this the last episode? I can't believe it! I want more of it!"

"Wasn't that adorable? I rooted for those two to be together again. I hope they make season two. This is so much better than the Longshot series."

"I actually think this Remy guy was an asshole and he could invest in his friend Storm instead. She obviously loves him, right? What's with all that meddling?"

"Now, shush, be quiet! There will be a live chat with the characters, I mean, the people, whatever, after the break. I'm so curious to find out if they are still together. Oh, I hope they are."

….

Back in the X-Mansion, six of the X-Men were sitting at their conference room: Gambit, Rogue, Jean, Cyclops, Wolverine and Storm. They were getting ready for a conference call that would connect them to the Mojoverse. It was going to be broadcast live.

"Remy sugar, I cannot believe you actually pushed us into this. How in the world did I agree with it?" Rogue complained.

"Well, I think it was a great idea and that's in fact how Gambit landed himself a commanding position on that Sabretooh mission. His quick wit and ability to negotiate was what saved our asses back in the Mojoverse or would you rather be still trapped there, working as a slave for their entertainment? Having my memories stolen for them to watch didn't hurt a thing." Scott commented.

"Stop complaining, chére. You turned out to be the star of the show." He blinked at his fiancée as he said that. "They said we had the highest viewing ratings in the Mojoverse history. Now come here, my Hollywood star!" He enveloped her waist and pulled her to him. Rolling her eyes at him, she flashed a lopsided smile.

"More like a porn star. Do they get to see everything exactly as each one of us remembers the facts?" Scott remarked. Remy got him smacked in the head for that.

"Shut up, homme. Don't make things harder on me. It's already as bad as it gets."

"You silly Swamp Rat." She finally said. "I find this all very funny. I got tons of fan mail and they said they were going to make dolls of us. Can you believe it?" She laughed out loud and then showered him with little pecks on his lips. And that's when live broadcast started.

"Oh, aren't they sweet? So you are still together! That's what all our viewers were dying to know. I heard we'll hear church bells anytime soon…" Mojo's disturbing voice blasted through the loudspeakers.

"Remy, you'll have to compensate me for that in bed tonight." She said in between gritted teeth.

"I definitely will, mon amour."

X

…

That's all, folks! I hope the ending wasn't too weird :D I would love to hear your comments on it.

I really enjoyed writing this fic, and would like to thank each one of you who followed/favorited the story and special thanks to kataract52 who supported me along the way with her reviews and towards the end of the story she started proof reading the story so you all could be spared of all typos and mistakes. Also thanks to Warrior-princess1980 who was a constant reviewer as well. Thanks, dear.

Please be sure to check my other fics, if you can. I'm currently working on Wasting Love.


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